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- Art Jensen, struggling writer, is having an existential crisis and it's only Monday; he doesn't know if he is Dickens or a dickhead. He wants his play produced in the West End but he can't get a break so he spends his days on the sofa watching daytime TV and taking mood elevators. His agent, Dickie Diamond, calls wanting news on a new project while Art wants to know if his previous work has sold. Sally, his long-suffering girlfriend, turns up asking him awkward questions he's not in the right frame of mind to answer.