The Worst Movies I've Ever Seen
There really is no point to the films I'm going to list here. Their soul purpose is to be as atrocious as possible. And you know what? They succeed.
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- DirectorCamillo TetiStarsLisa RussoMark Thompson-AshworthGisella MathewsA Cinderella meets her Prince Charming on the ill-fated Titanic. Along for the ride are a rapping dog, other talking animals, and an assortment of wacky humans.Whoever thought turning one of the most tragic maritime disasters into a cartoon is beyond me. If they wanted to make a cartoon around it, they should have taken it seriously and given the victims deserved respect, but NO. Instead, they decide to sugarcoat it by throwing in a dog that raps long before said genre is invented, terrible characters, and stupid editing that is all over the place. Not to mention, this movie makes fun of the disaster. Absolutely disgusting. It also has the worst animation I have ever seen in a cartoon film.
- DirectorOrlando CorradiKim Jun OkStarsGregory SnegoffFrancis PardeilhanJane AlexanderA grandfather mouse tells his grandchildren the "real" story of the Titanic disaster, including himself, evil sharks, a giant octopus, and an evil whaling scheme.This "movie" is on every single level of insulting and spits on the faces of the people who died by not having them die at all and uses the Titanic as a horrible excuse for this film to be about saving whales. I don't have a problem about messages saving animals, but the Titanic disaster and a "save the whales" message doesn't mix.
This movie is disgusting and offensive, just like "The Legend Goes On" and "Tentacolino." It sickens me that human beings were behind these so-called "films." - DirectorLewis TeagueStarsDee WallaceDaniel Hugh KellyDanny PintauroCujo, a friendly St. Bernard, contracts rabies and conducts a reign of terror on a small American town.This movie is full of nothing, but slow paced scenes, some of the most poor acting I have ever experienced from a film while watching it, and terribly edited shots of the dog attacking the mother and her son. Not even Dee Wallace from "E.T." could save this horrible excuse of a script.
- DirectorRalph BakshiStarsSkip HinnantRosetta LeNoireJohn McCurryIn the late 1960s, a pretentious, womanizing young cat drops out of college, starts a riot in Harlem, hits the road with an ex-girlfriend and gets mixed up with domestic terrorists.I'd rather watch "Ren and Stimpy" than this piece of trash ever again.
- DirectorRobert TaylorStarsSkip HinnantReva RoseBob HoltNow living on welfare with a wife and kitten, Fritz retreats from the domestic hell surrounding him by embarking on a series of marijuana-fueled fantasies of what his life could have been.You'd have a better chance of watching paint dry on the walls than this. Long story short, it's even more pathetic than its predecessor.
- DirectorBrian LevantStarsKate MeltonHayley KiyokoRobbie AmellThe story of how Mystery Inc. was formed.This film lies about how the gang first started solving mysteries. The acting is shallow and the CGI on Scooby isn't that good, either; Also, Frank Welker isn't a good voice actor for him anymore.
- DirectorKenny OrtegaStarsZac EfronVanessa HudgensAshley TisdaleA popular high school athlete and an academically gifted girl get roles in the school musical and develop a friendship that threatens East High's social order.Wow, what did I ever see in this one? The actors cannot sing or dance to save their skins at all.
- DirectorRobert VinceStarsCascy BeddowJane CarrKelly ChapekWhen dad BUDDY and mom MOLLY are dognapped, their five adorable pups, the AIR BUDDIES, must save the day...The franchise is just Disney's cash cow. I don't know why they want to keep continuing it. What I will say, is that "Air Buddies" and "Space Buddies" are lame in so many ways. I didn't like them when I first saw them, and I don't like them today.
- DirectorRaja GosnellStarsDrew BarrymoreGeorge LopezPiper PeraboWhile on vacation in Mexico, Chloe, a ritzy Beverly Hills chihuahua, finds herself lost and in need of assistance in order to get back home.Disney seriously needs to stop milking this and the "Air Buddies" franchise. I was not impressed with the first movie, and I don't intend to see the sequels following it.
- DirectorPhil NibbelinkStarsDaniel TrippettTricia TrippettChip AlbersRomeo & Juliet: Sealed With a Kiss is a fully animated feature fantasy about two star crossed seals from warring families that fall in love against their parents' wishes. When Juliet's father gives her hand in marriage to the monstrous elephant seal Prince, Juliet must fake her death in order to be reunited with Romeo. But the plan goes afoul and it's a desperate race to the end. With the help of their friends Friar Lawrence and Kissy, the kissing fish, the day is saved and the young lovers are reunited. Romeo & Juliet: Sealed With a Kiss is the ageless tale of love and prejudice set in an undersea world. A film that can be enjoyed by the whole family.Terrible, in every sense of the word. There are very stupid songs on top of lousy character development. The only good thing is the animation, but even that can't save this film.
- DirectorSteve GomerStarsGeorge HearnShirley DouglasTrevor MorganA talking purple dinosaur leads a group of children on a hunt for a large missing egg.Barney is a brain dead idiot that makes Patrick Star and Homer Simpson look like Stephen Hawking by comparison. The plot of this movie is nothing but a stupid fetch quest. The way Barney acts throughout a majority of the film, he's stupid enough to not realize a character doesn't like him, even if said character says that to his face.
The acting is the worst, there are songs that come out of nowhere five seconds after the last one, and on top of all this, the dinosaur characters talk to the audience like they're morons. I'm glad I grew out of Barney because I now see how much of a piece of crap he is. - DirectorJoe DanteEric GoldbergStarsBrendan FraserJenna ElfmanSteve MartinThe Looney Tunes search for a man's missing father and the mythical Blue Monkey diamond.The only saving graces of this movie are Bugs and Daffy. If it wasn't for their slapstick, "Looney Tunes: Back in Action" would be unwatchable. The CGI on the characters looks ugly at some points and the actors are poor. Steve Martin, you can do better than this. I'd prefer "Space Jam" over "Back in Action," since it knows how to do live action, CGI and animation right.
- DirectorSeth MacFarlaneStarsMark WahlbergMila KunisSeth MacFarlaneJohn Bennett, a man whose childhood wish of bringing his teddy bear to life came true, now must decide between keeping the relationship with the bear, Ted or his girlfriend, Lori.This movie does not deserve the positive reviews it's gotten. Seth McFarlane cannot act, produce, direct or write to save his life. It is just insultingly unfunny. The characters are unlikable and incomprehensibly idiotic. I have seen horrible movies in my time, but this one tops them all.
- DirectorRick RoesslerStarsJoe B. BartonDon BarrettSherry LeighThe owner of a slaughterhouse facing foreclosure instructs his obese and mentally disabled son to go on a killing spree against the people who want to buy his property.This is, quite possibly, the worst horror film I have ever seen in my whole entire life. Nothing is redeemable about this movie, at all. The acting is abysmal, the writing is nonexistent and the effects are an absolute joke. I cannot find one positive with this poor excuse of a slasher flick, whatsoever.
This movie was released in the 1980s, a decade where horror films were popular and enjoyable. There is no excuse for Slaughterhouse to be terrble. It is that pathetic and not even so bad, it's good. Being a horror fan, this movie is simply an insult to my love of the genre. - DirectorRobert VinceStarsKaitlyn MaherMadison PettisRichard RiehleMagic dogs and an elf team up with two children to rescue Santa who has lost his memory.If you expect me to believe this is a Christmas movie, you are mistaken. This film presents itself as a movie for the whole family, but it is a complete lie. There is nothing lighthearted about this garbage, whatsoever. I cannot believe this was okay to put into a movie about Christmas, to begin with.
An outright HORRID orphanage owner mentally and physically abuses the poor little girls, Santa gets robbed and almost dies, the administrator threatens to throw kids into an incinerator, etc. Need I go on?
Bottom line, if you want to show kids a Christmas movie, whatever you do, do NOT show them this one. It goes out of its way to be as mean spirited and depressing as possible. - DirectorAlex ZammStarsEric BauzaTimothy OmundsonGraham VerchereThe hyperactive red-headed bird enters a turf war with a big city lawyer wanting to tear down his home in an effort to build a house to flip.I'm actually going to say it; I'd rather watch "The Emoji Movie," "Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul" and "Norm of the North" than this pathetic excuse of a film ever again. I'm being serious. No effort was put into this travesty at all. It is the absolute worst movie based on an old cartoon character I've ever seen in my entire freaking life.
The acting is bottom of the barrel awful, the humor goes down to the lowest common denominator, and on top of that, Woody looks like something that came out of a video game. Words cannot begin to describe how atrocious this movie is. There is no story, nor is there even something close to a plot. Kids might be offended to watch this.
I thought we were done with horrid movies of this generation. I can see I was wrong; Dead, stinking wrong. - DirectorJayson ThiessenStarsEmily BluntKristin ChenowethLiev SchreiberAfter a dark force conquers Canterlot, the Mane 6 embark on an unforgettable journey beyond Equestria where they meet new friends and exciting challenges on a quest to use the magic of friendship to save their homeland.This movie was a complete and total waste of my time. Don't get me wrong, I think the show is wonderful, but this movie? I'm sorry. It sucked. The only positives I have with it are the animation, voice acting and songs. That's it.
The villain is an absolute joke, Twilight is extremely selfish and some of the characters are irritating and annoying; ESPECIALLY Grubber. Seriously, I wanted to punch that gluttonous, ugly little mutant every time he came on screen.
To make a long story short, "Equestria Girls" is better than this piece of horse crap. Don't waste your time with this film, like I did and watch the original show, instead. - DirectorRobert C. RamirezSteve TrenbirthStarsJohn RitterCree SummerKel MitchellWorried that he costs too much to feed, Clifford runs away to join a carnival act and help win a lifetime supply of Tummy Yummies.I cannot even believe, for the life of me, how bad this movie is. Nothing about "Clifford's Really Big Movie" is salvageable. The voice acting almost saves it from being complete and total trash, but the animation is the worst I have ever seen in a movie geared towards younger audiences.
That, right there, is a red flag, no pun intended. Also, the ferret character is nothing but an unlikable jerk to Clifford. If you a child who is an avid "Clifford" fan, like I still am, show them the television cartoon. This film is an utter disappointment. - DirectorTim BurtonMike JohnsonStarsJohnny DeppHelena Bonham CarterEmily WatsonWhen a shy groom practices his wedding vows in the inadvertent presence of a deceased young woman, she rises from the grave assuming he has married her.The one and only plot revolving around this movie is a wedding; That's it. That's all we get, and the film is so short, it might as well have been released direct-to-DVD, rather than in theaters.
The only characters that are somewhat likable are Victor, Victoria and Emily. Everyone else is a judgmental, whiny idiot, and they don't take the main protagonist's feelings into consideration. They just force Victor into a marriage with Victoria because they're a bunch of snobby, spoiled toddlers in adults' bodies.
If I am going to say anything positive about "Corpse Bride," it'd be that the animation is very neat to look at and the songs are entertaining, too. Unfortunately, those two redeeming factors barely save the movie from being a terrible mess.
Don't get me wrong, I'm fond of Tim Burton's work, I really am, but "Corpse Bride" is pretty weak with what it tries to accomplish. - DirectorJon FavreauStarsDonald GloverBeyoncéSeth RogenAfter the murder of his father, a young lion prince flees his kingdom only to learn the true meaning of responsibility and bravery.Out of all the lazy, greedy and stupid things Walt Disney Pictures has ever done, this "remake" is, by far, the worst. I can honestly not believe no one in the studio had the guts or audacity to put a halt to this production. I love the original 1994 movie to death and it is far superior than this sorry excuse will ever be.
The writing is horrendous, it has the worst attempts at emotion I've had to witness during a motion picture and it has humor that's too low-brow for anyone under the age of five. THIS MOVIE IS. THAT. BAD.
The only Disney live action remake I thoroughly enjoyed was "Aladdin," but that isn't saying much. Not even James Earl Jones' reprisal of Mufasa could save this mess. Heck, if I wanted to see a live action version of "The Lion King," I'd go see the Broadway musical again. At least, it's close to a remake of the original movie than this.
I'm sorry, Disney, but this time, you've officially gone too far. This remake is a travesty. End of story. - DirectorStephen J. AndersonDon HallStarsJim CummingsCraig FergusonJohn CleeseWhile searching for honey, Pooh and his friends embark on an adventure to find Eeyore's missing tail and rescue Christopher Robin from an unknown monster called The Backson.
- DirectorPete DocterRonnie Del CarmenStarsAmy PoehlerBill HaderLewis BlackAfter young Riley is uprooted from her Midwest life and moved to San Francisco, her emotions - Joy, Fear, Anger, Disgust and Sadness - conflict on how best to navigate a new city, house, and school.In my opinion, this is the worst movie to come out of Pixar. If you think about it, most of the stuff that happens during it is Sadness’s fault and I’m surprised Joy doesn’t snap once at her in the film. The rest of the mind characters are not interesting and it’s just depressing in every facet.
Anger, Disgust and Fear have their corresponding character traits and nothing else. Characters need more to their personalities to make them work. The only character that is at least somewhat likable and has more than one trait is Joy, but even she can have her moments of irritation.
Bing Bong, at times, seemed like he was about to get on my last nerve, but he redeemed himself before he faded away.
All throughout this film, I felt so sorry for Riley and what she had to go through. I get that her parents wanted to move into an apartment in San Francisco, but come on! I wouldn’t even let a neighbors’ dog live in that trash heap.
The first half of the movie starts out decently enough, but when it gets to the second and third acts, the film just turns into a train wreck. That’s all that happens; it turns into a depressing and miserable excuse of a train wreck.
If I had to pick one positive with "Inside Out," it would be the animation. Pixar, once again, does an amazing job with the animation and character designs. They’re colorful and fun to look at. Even the backgrounds are incredible.
Unfortunately, the good does not outweigh the bad. I honestly cannot believe how depressing this movie really is. I know it may be considered one of Pixar‘s greatest movies, but I don’t see it like that. Give me "Coco," "Finding Nemo" and the "Toy Story" trilogy over "Inside Out" any day. - DirectorDanishka EsterhazyStarsDani KindSteve LundCelina MartinYoung Harley is having a dream birthday; he and his family are going to watch the taping of his favourite show. But the dream becomes a nightmare when the animatronic stars turn homicidal.Why, in the name of Sam Hill, would you take classic, adorable children's characters in a show by the legendary William Hanna and Joseph Barbera and slap them in their faces by having said characters be the antagonists in an R-RATED HORROR MOVIE? Just why?
Warner Bros. has made some bottom of the barrel films in the past, (looking at YOU, "Kangaroo Jack: G'Day, U.S.A."), but this is the worst one they have ever created. There is nothing scary about this film; Period.
The kills have the worst blood and gore effects, and I'm not kidding when I've seen better effects in "Carrie." I can't believe how terrible they looked.
Not only that, but the whole plot is taken directly from the "Five Nights at Freddy's" video game franchise. Did nobody come up with something even remotely original for this... leviathan thing? At all? I don't need to say I'm severely angered to Kingdom Come with this movie. I think I've already proved my point.
To take lovable characters from a vintage television show, years later and turn them into robots who murder everyone in sight... No. Absolutely not.
I can just picture Hanna and Barbera rolling in their graves at this insulting piece of garbage. - DirectorTim BurtonStarsColin FarrellMichael KeatonDanny DeVitoA young elephant, whose oversized ears enable him to fly, helps save a struggling circus, but when the circus plans a new venture, Dumbo and his friends discover dark secrets beneath its shiny veneer.