- Pete - Policeman: Say, what's the big idea?
- Ezekiel Cobb: I have no ideas. In fact, I'm quite bewildered.
- Pete - Policeman: Now, don't get gay with me.
- Ezekiel Cobb: Sir, I'm far from gay.
- Pat Pratt: Well, Mr. Mayor!
- Ezekiel Cobb: Good evening, Miss Pratt. Isn't this terrible!
- Pat Pratt: What?
- Ezekiel Cobb: What? I've got to be mayor!
- Pat Pratt: Oh, well its all a circus anyway. And every circus must have its clown.
- Ezekiel Cobb: Now, that's what I like about you. You are so honest in your dishonesty that, at heart, I believe you're honest.
- Ezekiel Cobb: Why is it that all American girls are so lacking in individuality?
- Pat Pratt: What?
- Ezekiel Cobb: Well, they all look alike. Big-eyed. And pastied-faced. And, well, one exactly like the other.
- Pat Pratt: Eh, how interesting.
- Ezekiel Cobb: Yes, and furthermore, they seem to lack that sense of inferiority that a woman should have in the presence of a man.
- Pat Pratt: Oh, they do?
- Ezekiel Cobb: Yes, I'm disappointed. I doubt whether I shall be able to find an American girl that will make me a suitable wife.
- Ezekiel Cobb: May I humbly inquire the direction... to the First Church of Stockport?
- Pedestrian Giving Directions: The first church? Sure. Just grab yourself a bus... and hop over to the music box on 31st street. You know, where the red-hot babies are playing? You'll find it easy. Just buzz any flatfoot on the beat. He'll serve you the dope. You got me? O.K.
- Ezekiel Cobb: You see, this is the parent church of my father's mission.
- Taxi Driver: Think of that.
- Ezekiel Cobb: For what reason?
- Taxi Driver: Once more?
- Ezekiel Cobb: Why should I think of my father's mission?
- Taxi Driver: I'll bite. Why?
- Ezekiel Cobb: Well... I enjoyed our little ride exceedingly.
- Woman in nightclub: Why, Ed Morgan could commit murder on the city hall steps and still be re-elected.
- Jake Mayo: Where you from, son?
- Ezekiel Cobb: China.
- Jake Mayo: China? You mean where them laundry men come from?
- Strozzi: I got a message for you. Just two words.
- Ezekiel Cobb: And they are?
- Strozzi: Lay off!
- Ezekiel Cobb: Lay where?
- Jake Mayo: Well, what brought you to Stockport?
- Ezekiel Cobb: I was born here.
- Jake Mayo: Eh-huh. A hometown boy, heh? Any friends here?
- Ezekiel Cobb: Well, eh, no. But, I have a letter to Tien Wang, a Chinese gentleman. I'm sure he'll welcome me as a guest.
- Jake Mayo: Say, that ain't right. White man coming back here, no place to go but a Chink.
- Ezekiel Cobb: He who's lived in the jungle is best equipped to fight wild beasts.
- Jake Mayo: What?
- Ezekiel Cobb: Ling Po.
- Jake Mayo: Whatta you mean lived in the jungle?