- Mr. Penny: [looking at the cats on the grounds after the rainstorm] It looks like it's been raining cats and cats around here.
- Hubert Smith: What's this?
- Montague Hartley: Ashes! That proves it. It *was* Abigail! Unquestionably.
- Hubert Smith: [aside, to Elaine] He thinks he's Sherlock Holmes.
- Elaine Winslow: Were you insinuating that Grandmother's death wasn't accidental?
- Hubert Smith: Well, she wasn't killed by kindness, was she?
- Montague Hartley: [talking to Gil] This is on a par with your other stupid accusations!
- Richard Hartley: Yes, two more brains and he'd be a half-wit.
- Hubert Smith: Oh, then you're the guy that slugged me.
- Richard Hartley: Yeah, and I'll do it again any time you train down to my weight.
- Myrna Hartley: [responding to a noise] What was that?
- Hubert Smith: Only a cat. There's always a cat someplace around here.
- Hubert Smith: [Quoting the sign at the gate] That house is doubly blest / Which to our feline friends gives rest.
- Mr. Penny: Oh, poetry, huh? It's beautiful, beautiful.
- Hubert Smith: That's what Mrs. Winslow says. But as kids we used to say, In her hats are many bats / For spending all her dough on cats.
- Hubert Smith: Drink your milk, it's good for you.
- Henrietta Winslow: It's only good for hair and teeth, and mine are false.
- Hubert Smith: [driving in the rain over a bumpy road] As an antique dealer, Mr. Penny, what do you think of this road?
- Mr. Penny: Oh, I'd hate to meet the worms that made these holes. Whoo-hoo!
- Montague Hartley: How is she, doctor?
- Doctor: You'll be pleased, I'm sure, to know that Mrs. Winslow is still violating all the laws of science. She should be dead. But she's very much alive.
- Myrna Hartley: You really think somebody tried to poison Henrietta?
- Hubert Smith: If she hadn't cremated the cat, I could prove it.
- Hubert Smith: [to Abigail, after Henrietta was stabbed to death] You might switch from knitting to embroidering, the needles are a lot shorter.
- Henrietta Winslow: They were all so pleased with what they *thought* they were going to receive, they didn't stick around to hear the rest.
- Hubert Smith: I thought I broke in at the end.
- Henrietta Winslow: You broke in, but not at the end.