Quotes
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The Great Man : I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
Waitress : You're as funny as a cry for help.
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Waitress : And another thing. Don't be so free with your hands.
The Great Man : Listen, honey. I was only trying to guess your weight. You take things too seriously.
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Waitress : You know, there's something awfully big about you.
The Great Man : Hunh-huh. Thank you, dear, thank you, dear, thaank...
Waitress : [Interrupting] Your nose!
Waitress : [after she turns her back to him, he stares at her derriere] Something awfully big about you too!
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Waitress : [to the Great Man] You're as funny as a cry for help! You also pulled that old gag about breaking your fork in the gravy!
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The Great Man : Have, uh, you any imported cigars?
Waitress : 'Stingeroos', four for a nickel.
The Great Man : Oh, that's fine. As long as they're imported.
[she holds out box of cigars, he takes four]
The Great Man : You know, if anybody ever comes in here and gives you a ten dollar tip... uh, scrutinize it carefully. There's a lot of that counterfeit money going around.
[she holds out her hand for the money for the cigars]
The Great Man : I'll give you the dough. Don't...
[puts a coin in her hand]
The Great Man : Here... there.
Waitress : If I get any counterfeit nickels or pennies, I'll know where they came from
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Waitress : Well, baloney-mahooney-malarky! You big Kabloona!
The Great Man : Kabloona? I haven't been called that for two days.
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Waitress : [seeing him take another man's hat from the coatrack] Aren't you a little confused?
The Great Man : Aw, in which way?
Waitress : Your hat.
The Great Man : Oh! Thanks a thousand times. Yes. I mistook it. Thank you.
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The Great Man : [paying his bill at the restaurant] What's the amount of the insult?
Waitress : It'll be 35 cents.
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Waitress : You're so clever.
The Great Man : Who told you I was clever?
Waitress : Oh, all your friends at the studio told me.
The Great Man : Oh, drat! I told 'em not tell you.