Nothing But Trouble (1944)
Stan Laurel: Stan Laurel
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Quotes
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Oliver : Yonder she lies, Stanley. The good old USA!
Stan : Gee, I'm glad to be back.
Ocean Liner Passenger : I'll bet you are. What did the Japs do when they took you prisoner?
Oliver : It was most humiliating. They forced us to prepare dinner. My masterpiece: Steak à la Oliver.
Ocean Liner Passenger : Gee, that was tough.
Oliver : Tough? My masterpiece? I beg your pardon!
Stan : After they finished eating it, they told us to please go on home.
Oliver : Yes, it seems that they preferred some dish of their own. I think they called it: Hara-Kiri.
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Mrs. Elvira Hawkley : I thought a little spot of this might refresh you before taking up your new duties. It's Chateauneuf 1924.
Stan : Gee, that's pretty old. Haven't you got anything new?
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French Restaurateur : [scolding in French] ... Un Bifteck à la Olivier! Allez!
Stan : What'd he say?
Oliver : You heard what he said.
Stan : I heard what he said but I didn't hear what he meant.
Oliver : He simply said that he accepts our resignation.
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King Christopher : You're awfully kind.
Oliver : Well, we just like to see kids have fun.
Stan : Yeah, we think kids are nice.
King Christopher : And I think you're swell!
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Oliver : Stanley, we've got to uphold the rights of human beings. That beautiful sirloin steak is enough for at least four people.
Stan : And he's hoarding it.
Oliver : Mrs. Hawkley needs it more than that lion. We'll do it!
Stan : You're right, Ollie. Ladies first, I always say.
Oliver : Stanley, get the meat.
Stan : You mean - me get the meat?
Oliver : Of course! Reach in and take it! Well, there's nothing to it. All you have to do is look the lion straight in the eye. Lions are afraid of that. I - I read that in a book.
Stan : But, did the lion read the book?
Oliver : No. Don't annoy me with trifles. Hurry!
Stan : Are you sure he'll be frightened?
Oliver : One look at you and he'll be terrified! - - - Did you look him in the eye?
Stan : Yeah, but, something must have gone wrong. I got frightened.
Oliver : Oh, I can't depend upon you to do anything!
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Oliver : Now, I've got to think of another idea.
Stan : What are you going to do now?
Oliver : I'm going to tickle him. That'll attract him away from the steak. Then, you snatch it.
Stan : Suppose he's not ticklish?
Oliver : All lion's are ticklish! Gootchi-gootchi-gootchi-gootchi!
Stan : Why don't you try and find his funny bone?
Oliver : Gootchi-gootchi-gootchi! Gootchi! Gootchi-gootchi! See, he's laughing! Gootchi-gootchi-gootchi-gootchi-goo!
Stan : Don't look like a laugh to me.
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Stan : [after answering the door] There's a guy by the name of Mr. Ronetz. He wants to talk to a Mr. Highness.
Prince Saul : Oh, that's my Secretary. Would you pardon me a moment?
Mrs. Elvira Hawkley : Oh, certainly.
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King Christopher : You know, Mr. Stanley, Mr. Oliver, this has been the happiest day of my life!
Oliver : Look, Chris, you don't have to say Mr. to us.
Stan : Of course not. Just call us Stan and Ollie.
Oliver : After all, we're pals.
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Stan : Chris, you ain't a King?
King Christopher : I - I should have told you.
Oliver : Your Majesty.
[bows]
Stan : Your Majesty.
[curtsies]
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Prince Saul : His Majesty will be pleased to grant you an audience at a later time.
Stan : Oh, sure, Chris.
Oliver : Thank you, your Majesty.
Stan : Mr. King, Chris.
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Mrs. Elvira Hawkley : There you are, Stanley. Oh, you pixie, you. After all this - excitement, I'm sure you'll be glad to come back and work at our little house, won't you?
Stan : No, ma'am.