- Bud Abbott aka Peter Patterson: I overheard Doctor Zoomer say he needed a couple of men to accompany his mummy back to the States.
- Lou Costello aka Freddie Franklin: Is she afraid to travel by herself?
- Bud Abbott aka Peter Patterson: She? No, Lou. This mummy is a he. What's wrong with that? Some mummies are men, some mummies are women.
- Lou Costello aka Freddie Franklin: Such a strange country.
- Bud Abbott aka Peter Patterson: What's strange about it Lou?
- Lou Costello aka Freddie Franklin: Your mummy, your mummy. Wasn't she a woman?
- Bud Abbott aka Peter Patterson: I never had a mummy.
- Lou Costello aka Freddie Franklin: What did your Father do? Win you in a crap game?
- Bud Abbott aka Peter Patterson: What's the matter?
- Lou Costello aka Freddie Franklin: I thought you were gonna slap me!
- Bud Abbott aka Peter Patterson: How stupid can you get?
- Lou Costello aka Freddie Franklin: How stupid do you want me to be?
- Bud Abbott aka Peter Patterson: Where will we find the Mummy?
- Lou Costello aka Freddie Franklin: Don't worry. the Mummy will find you!
- Madame Rontru: [looking at a fluroscope of Freddie's insides] A marble, two buttons, a safety pin...
- Bud Abbott aka Peter Patterson: I lost a tie clasp two years ago, see if that's in there.
- The Flower Girl: Flowers?
- Lou Costello aka Freddie Franklin: [points to one bunch of flowers] How much are these?
- The Flower Girl: A dollar.
- Lou Costello aka Freddie Franklin: [points to another bunch] How much are these?
- The Flower Girl: A dollar.
- Lou Costello aka Freddie Franklin: I got no money.
- [throws a bouquet back on the tray]
- The Flower Girl: No money?
- [picks up the bunch he threw back]
- The Flower Girl: They're a little wilted, you can have them for nothing.
- Lou Costello aka Freddie Franklin: Ask Klaris, he's the one that got us into this.
- Bud Abbott aka Peter Patterson: And he's going to get us out of it.
- Bud Abbott aka Peter Patterson: [finding Professor Zoomer's body dressed in his long underwear] Is this the body you found earlier?
- Lou Costello aka Freddie Franklin: Yeah, but before he had clothes on.
- Waiter with Flaming Kabob: A waiter will be with you in a moment.
- Lou Costello aka Freddie Franklin: Hey! The meat's on fire!
- [throws a glass of water at the kabob but hits Abbott instead]
- Lou Costello aka Freddie Franklin: [after along back and forth between picking the pick and shovel when Lou can't figure out why Bud wont take the pick] C'mon you take your pick.
- Lou Costello aka Freddie Franklin: [Abbott takes shovel] You took the shovel!