- Sutekichi the Thief: Hey, geezer, is Buddha really real?
- [Kahei laughs knowingly]
- Sutekichi the Thief: What's so goddamn funny? Is he or isn't he?
- Kahei the Pilgrim: I'm sure he is, for those who wish him to be.
- [Last lines; Tonosama stumbles indoors, dripping wet, interrupting his housemates' impromptu acapella song and dance number]
- Tonosama - the former Samurai: Hey, everybody! Come quick! The actor hung himself, out back by the cliff!
- [the other men stare at him aghast. Osen slowly saunters into the doorway, clearly horrified; Tonosama's not lying. There's a long pause]
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: It was such a great party, and he had to go and ruin it. Bastard!
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: 'Piety is the last refuge in the time of trouble.' 'Belief finds glory, even in a fish's tail.' Praise be to the Buddha!
- Sutekichi the Thief: Hey, geezer, is Buddha really real?
- [Kahei laughs]
- Sutekichi the Thief: What's so goddamn funny? Is he or isn't he?
- Kahei the Pilgrim: I'm sure he is, for those who wish him to be.
- Sutekichi the Thief: She won't give me the the time of day.
- Tomekichi the Tinker: She's a tough one.
- Sutekichi the Thief: She doesn't care about my feelings.
- Tomekichi the Tinker: And what feelings are those?
- Sutekichi the Thief: I feel really bad for her. I can't let her be.
- Tonosama - the former Samurai: There you go again. Cut it out. Lay off the stupid dreams. Huh? You're just a two-bit, slam-bam whore. Huh? Stop imagining you're some kind of virgin.
- [Osen lunges at him. Tonosama runs away, giggling]
- Osugi the Landlady: Anyone seen my sister?
- Tatsu: She's the one who found the old codger.
- Osugi the Landlady: So he was here, then.
- Tatsu: You mean Sutekichi? Sure was. But he didn't say boo to Okayo.
- Sutekichi the Thief: I can do without corpses.
- Kahei the Pilgrim: You're scared?
- Sutekichi the Thief: ...They're not my thing.
- Kahei the Pilgrim: Say, my lord, why do you provoke her that way? It's her only pleasure, crying her eyes out that way.
- Tonosama - the former Samurai: [lazily] I'm sick and tired of her tales.
- [He scoffs]
- Tonosama - the former Samurai: Makes me sick.
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: Money buys your fate in hell.
- Tonosama - the former Samurai: Money buys you Buddha's mercy.
- Sutekichi the Thief: I was having a great dream. I was fishing, and I'd just hooked this monster snapper. Truly a dream fish. I was just about to land that fish.
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: That's no snapper. That's Osugi.
- The Actor: You landed Osugi long ago.
- Sutekichi the Thief: Who asked you?
- [Yoshisaburo and the actor laugh]
- Sutekichi the Thief: Scram, the bitch and the lot of you.
- Osugi the Landlady: Aren't you gone yet? You busybody. All you do is talk behind my back. I'll run you out of town.
- Unokichi: Bye-bye!
- Tonosama - the former Samurai: Hey, gramps, you're quite the scoundrel, aren't you?
- Kahei the Pilgrim: Never judge a book by its cover.
- Rokubei, Osugi's Husband: [to Sutekichi] Can I open the door?
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: Might as well open Pandora's box.
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: [to the actor] Gimme five pennies. If you do, I'll consider your 'naturally gifted actor' a star-billing, tip-top, top-notch, sterling-silver actor.
- Rokubei, Osugi's Husband: Three mats' worth for bedtime and taking over the common room. I'm raising your rent by ten pennies.
- Tomekichi the Tinker: Why not just strangle me?
- Rokubei, Osugi's Husband: Because I wouldn't get a single penny out of that.
- Tomekichi the Tinker: Wanna fight?
- [Rokubei staggers back, accidentally treading on a reclining Yoshisaburo]
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: Hey! Ouch!
- Rokubei, Osugi's Husband: [to Yoshisaburo] Don't scare me.
- Kahei the Pilgrim: Who's to say that a lie is always bad? And who's to say that the truth is always good?
- The Actor: I can't risk breathing dust. Doc's orders. "Your bitol organs are poisoned with alcohol."
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: You mean "vital organs".
- The Actor: That's right, my bitol organs.
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: It's definitely gone to your tongue. Another six months and you'll have full-blown palsy.
- Kahei the Pilgrim: [to Tonosama] I've seen two or three lords in my time. But it seems to me, for a lord, your fall from grace landed you flat on your ass.
- [Sutekichi roars with laughter]
- Tsugaru: Hey, card up the sleeve! I saw!
- Tonosama - the former Samurai: What the...?
- The Actor: Bad move, rich man.
- Tsugaru: I saw it! You cheated! I quit!
- Tonosama - the former Samurai: Lose barely 100 pennies and you shriek like you've lost a fortune.
- [He scoffs]
- Tonosama - the former Samurai: You're one hell of a rich man!
- Tsugaru: You've got to gamble honestly!
- Shimazo the Police Agent: [drunkenly] Anyway, as I was saying, a tiger means bamboo, bamboo means a sparrow, a peony... a peony...
- [He passes out]
- Kahei the Pilgrim: You're a good man, and smart to boot. What went wrong?
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: The slammer. Four and seven months. When they threw me out, I had nowhere to go.
- Kahei the Pilgrim: Oh, my. Why jail?
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: There was this jerk...
- Kahei the Pilgrim: You did him in?
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: Just my luck. There was a meat cleaver handy.
- Kahei the Pilgrim: Any women involved?
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: No, it wasn't like that... But enough of that. That was ten years ago now.
- Rokubei, Osugi's Husband: Human kindness can't be bought for pennies or silver. Kindness is kindness. Pennies and silver are pennies and silver. Can't mix the wheat with the chaff.
- The Actor: You half-dead, greedy bastard!
- The Actor: Just you wait. You really will go to hell.
- Yoshisaburo the Gambler: Don't be ridiculous. How can you to hell if you're already there?
- Rokubei, Osugi's Husband: You're a kind man. You did a good thing. "A life of kindness will someday be rewarded."
- The Actor: When, I'd like to know?
- Rokubei, Osugi's Husband: In the next world.
- The Actor: I say I want my rewards right here and now.
- Kahei the Pilgrim: I'm just so lonely and sad.
- Kahei the Pilgrim: I know. We often feel that way before we die. Now you just calm down, madam. Place you're hope in the future. In other words, all pain will pass with death. Everything'll be for the best. That world gives you refuge from this world.
- The Actor: I had a fantastic memory. But look at me now. It's curtains for me. That's right. When I intoned my lines, you could count on it. The audience went wild. You wouldn't understand, but it felt like a thousand silver coins! You strike your pose, and then - Can't remember a thing. Not even a word. It was my favorite part. This is terrible.
- Kahei the Pilgrim: It's not good when you can't even remember your favorite things. Our favorite things are the very core of our lives.
- The Actor: I managed to drink up that "core of life."
- Asa, Tomekichi's Wife: You're a good man. A really good man.
- Kahei the Pilgrim: I'm just a pebble beside the river. I've been worn down so long, now I'm nice and smooth.
- Tonosama - the former Samurai: In the old days, I lived in the lap of luxury. As the shogun's vassal, I was in the inner circle, no matter how poor. From first light to last, I ordered everybody around. In the bath, I never washed or dried. My maid took care of all that.
- Unokichi: If only I could really rest, and escape from all my suffering.
- Kahei the Pilgrim: I guarantee you will. So stop fretting and wait for deliverance.
- Unokichi: But maybe - I - I might get better.
- Kahei the Pilgrim: What good will that do? Want to prolong your suffering a little?
- Unokichi: I still just want - to live a little longer. A little longer. If there's no suffering in that world, then I'll put up with this world a little while longer.
- Kahei the Pilgrim: Considering my looks, I've known my share of gals. A gal for every hair that's abandoned my head.
- Rokubei, Osugi's Husband: I knew it. You bitch! Whore! I can't believe myself. At my age - You shameless hussy!
- Okayo, Osugi's Sister: I imagine all kinds of things too - and keep expecting them to happen.
- Tonosama - the former Samurai: What kind of things?
- Okayo, Osugi's Sister: What kinds? Well, for instance, that maybe tomorrow someone will appear, someone good. Like that. If not, then something will happen, something good. I think about such things, and I'm always waiting.
- Tonosama - the former Samurai: Me, I'm not waiting for anything at all. All the good stuff in my life already happened.
- Kahei the Pilgrim: Shut up and listen. If you're sweet on someone, you take her by the hand and scamper the hell out of here.
- Sutekichi the Thief: I won't let it happen. I'd rather kill you than see you end up like that.
- Okayo, Osugi's Sister: Listen to you. Not even married yet and you're ready to kill me.
- Sutekichi the Thief: I'm head over heels about you. Don't worry about a thing.
- Okayo, Osugi's Sister: And what about my sister?
- Sutekichi the Thief: Oh, that one? She can go...
- Kahei the Pilgrim: Don't bother about her, young lady. The fact is, if you're out of rice, there's always barley. If you're out of barley, there's always millet.
- Kahei the Pilgrim: By the way, folks, it's about time I bid you farewell.
- Sutekichi the Thief: Huh? Where are you off to?
- Kahei the Pilgrim: I don't know, which is the whole point of moving on. There must be some wonderful place. We're all searching for it.
- Osugi the Landlady: Don't worry, Okayo. This man will never abuse you. But he'll never amuse you, either.