- Victor Fabian: Piccolo players standing up!
- Dolly Fabian: Well, why not? That's how Toscanini did it and you cheered!
- Victor Fabian: I? I cheered another conductor?
- Dolly Fabian: Oh, Victor, you're impossible.
- Victor Fabian: I won't reproach you, darling. How did Shakespeare say it? Judge not lest ye be judged.
- Dolly Fabian: It's not Shakespeare. It's the Bible.
- Victor Fabian: Please! Let's not drag religion into this sordid story.
- Victor Fabian: My compliments to Mother, Mr. Wilbur. Tell her we'll take her request and let her know in 5 to 10 years. In the meantime, if she must hear a military band she can join the Army. I also have a piece of advice to her about piccolo players and what she can do with -...
- Luigi Bardini: You have lied to me!
- Maxwell Archer: May I be shipwrecked on a desert island with a whole boatload of Italian opera singers if I have lied to you.