Bye Bye Birdie (1963)
Dick Van Dyke: Albert F. Peterson
Photos
Quotes
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Ballet manager : This ballet has historic significance. It was performed the same day as the funeral of the Tzar. Lenin himself made the arrangement.
Albert Peterson : Lenin arranged music?
Ballet manager : No, funerals.
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Mae Peterson : Now, don't try to pay me back, son. I forgive you. So what if you're an ingrate? So long as you're happy.
Albert Peterson : I don't wanna be happy!
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Ballet manager : Save your life? Me? My friend, if you are sick, see a doctor.
Albert Peterson : "If you are sick, see a doctor." You speak English?
Ballet manager : Saves time.
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Albert Peterson : [singing] Oh one last kiss... there never was such bliss... I love your dentifrice!
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Albert Peterson : You owe me nothing, even though you were molded by me.
Rose DeLeon : Molded?
Albert Peterson : Yeah. Like Eliza Doolittle got molded from Pygmalion.
Rose DeLeon : I was molded?
Albert Peterson : What were you when I found you anyway? Hostess at La Casa Enchilada Taco and Tamale Shop.
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Albert Peterson : Suicide is for cowards. I don't desert the woman I love.
Rose DeLeon : Oh, Albert, I'm sorry. I should have known.
Albert Peterson : Mama would never get over it.
Rose DeLeon : Mama?
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Albert Peterson : I don't care what Sullivan pays you. No woman is supporting Albert Peterson.
Rose DeLeon : Oh, you're not listening, darling.
Albert Peterson : I am not a gigolo!
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Albert Peterson : I keep tellin' ya, take a taxi.
Mae Peterson : Taxis? Taxis are for my successful son. A dirty crowded subway is good enough for a mother. Mother's nothin' nowadays. Who's that?
Albert Peterson : Mommy, you know Rose DeLeon. And guess what?
Mae Peterson : This is that - pretty Rose DeLeon? Oh, I don't believe it. Rose, what happened to ya? You had a fatal sickness or somethin'?
Rose DeLeon : It's nice to see you again.
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Albert Peterson : Mama, where have you been?
Mae Peterson : Neglected! That's where I've been.
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Albert Peterson : The Russians! First they take Czechoslovakia, and now they take my four minutes.
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Ballet manager : [toast] Zazdarovje Jack Kennedy.
Albert Peterson : Oh, Long live Joseph Stalin.
Ballet manager : Oh?
Albert Peterson : I mean, Stalin - Stalin lived too long. Long live Khrushchev.
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Rose DeLeon : I was living in fantasy, telling myself you were serious.
Albert Peterson : Oh, Rosie, I was. I am! In here. I've thought and thought about marrying you every day, a lot of nights too.
Rose DeLeon : I've spent six years on Project Albert.
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Albert Peterson : [singing] Hand in hand, we'll mosey, Me and little Rosie...