- Col. Thaddeus Gearhart: I don't care how dirty you are, I will not have you ladies bathing in nude!
- Cora Templeton Massingale: There's no other way I know of, colonel.
- Col. Thaddeus Gearhart: Give a woman an acorn and the next thing you know you're up to your rump in oak trees.
- Col. Thaddeus Gearhart: If it's the last thing I do, I'll have that entire band transferred to Alaska!
- Col. Thaddeus Gearhart: [sitting in a bathtub when Mrs. Massingale enters his tent] Madam, I'm bathing!
- Cora Templeton Massingale: The sight of a man bathing is not foreign to a woman widowed three times.
- Col. Thaddeus Gearhart: You will pardon me if I don't rise.
- Sgt. Buell: [the troops are mounted and are ready to depart for Denver, Gearhart and Buell are heading for their horses] Sir?
- Col. Thaddeus Gearhart: Well?
- Sgt. Buell: Does the Colonel intend... I mean to say sir, will the escort party... sir, do you really intend to go through with this thing?
- Col. Thaddeus Gearhart: Buell you've got a great deal to learn about military science.
- Sgt. Buell: Sir?
- Col. Thaddeus Gearhart: Simple matter here of objective and stratagem. Objective? Get rid of these damn women! Stratagem?
- Sgt. Buell: Take 'em to Denver, sir?
- Col. Thaddeus Gearhart: Mount up, you! Mount up!