- Nitai: I have no peace of mind, my friend. The housemaid has run off. The wife constantly complains. I have a new, tough boss at work. I'm fed up.
- Satya: They just got back from Kashi yesterday. I would have gone yesterday, but I didn't get my trousers back from the laundry. So I had to wait for a day.
- Birinchi Baba: Time is incredible. Truly incredible. They say we know our present, but no one has seen the future. I say that the future exists, but the present does not. Time, as we understand it, time exists, but there is no such thing as the present time. How can there be? How can there be? The future, the inevitable, when it happens, after it's happened, doesn't remain fixed. We cannot label it as the present and chain it down by the ankles, and say, "Look, this is the present." The moment it happens, it becomes past perfect, or simple past, or past habitual. Meaning, it is history. Past!
- Satya: Didn't you get my letter?
- Buchki: Your letter?
- Satya: What! I mailed it to Varanasi.
- Buchki: You call that a letter? Seven lines in all: two from Shelly, two from Chandidas, and two lines from Tagore! And the rest: "How are you? I'm fine!"
- Satya: But the feelings were mine, 100 percent. So, what if the language is borrowed.
- Buchki: Hang your feelings!
- Nibaran: There's a monk at the Jagannath Ghat. The Chili Baba. He gives a green chili to all the people who go to visit him. And eating those chilies is curing all their diseases.
- Professor Nani: Einstein used to visit him.
- Nibaran: Visit him?
- Professor Nani: He taught him.
- Nibaran: What?
- Professor Nani: Relativity. E=mc2.
- Nibaran: Baba taught him? He taught Einstein? He made this claim in public?
- Professor Nani: Yes!
- Nibaran: And people believed him?
- Professor Nani: They all applauded!
- Birinchi Baba: Forward and backward, that is all there is to life. The present only consists of what was and what will be. Life is suspended between what was and what is to come. The world lies in between the future and the past. Oh, my brothers! Oh, my brothers!
- Birinchi Baba: Om tempora! Om tempora!
- Birinchi Baba, Birinchi Baba's assistant: Om!
- Birinchi Baba: Mores!
- Birinchi Baba, Birinchi Baba's assistant: Om!
- Birinchi Baba: Nific!
- Birinchi Baba, Birinchi Baba's assistant: Om!
- Birinchi Baba: Niscient!
- Birinchi Baba, Birinchi Baba's assistant: Om!
- Birinchi Baba: Nibus!
- Birinchi Baba, Birinchi Baba's assistant: Om!
- Birinchi Baba: Nivorous!
- Birinchi Baba, Birinchi Baba's assistant: Om!
- Birinchi Baba: My dear Gurupada, you have done your utmost. And I don't want you to serve me beyond your means. As for food, will I ask you for roast rhino? No, I will not. Because I know it is beyond your means. It's delicious. I had plenty in the Stone Age. You don't get it anymore.
- Birinchi Baba's assistant: Don't invite trouble. Only young women. Cut the men out. Except the middle aged or those who aren't too shrewd. No admission, except the devoted or those with cataracts!
- Birinchi Baba: Jesus said, "The rich can never attain salvation." I argued, "Why not? If wealth is squandered, if it is put to good use, then why not?" That day - I spoke to him very harshly, but later, I was repentant. He was tortured to death.
- Birinchi Baba's assistant: Poor kid.
- Birinchi Baba: Without reason!
- Birinchi Baba's assistant: Poor kid!
- Baba believer: Master, did you know Jesus Christ?
- Birinchi Baba: People say, "crucifixion." But, I say, "cruci-fact!" Because I saw it all with my own eyes.