Yours, Mine and Ours (1968)
Henry Fonda: Frank Beardsley
Photos
Quotes
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Colleen North : [as Helen is leaving for the hospital, about to have a baby] I know this is a terrible time to talk about it, but Larry says...
Frank Beardsley : I've got a message for Larry! You tell him *this* is what it's all about. This is the real happening. If you want to know what love really is, take a look around you.
Helen North : What are you two talking about?
Frank Beardsley : Take a good look at your mother.
Helen North : Not now!
Frank Beardsley : Yes, now.
Frank Beardsley : [to Colleen] It's giving life that counts. Until you're ready for it, all the rest is just a big fraud. All the crazy haircuts in the world won't keep it turning. Life isn't a love-in - it's the dishes, and the orthodontist, and the shoe repairman, and... ground round instead of roast beef. And I'll tell you something else: It isn't going to a bed with a man that proves you're in love with him; it's getting up in the morning and facing the drab, miserable, wonderful everyday world with him that counts!
[leaving the house, they say good-bye to the little kids]
Frank Beardsley : I suppose having nineteen kids is carrying it a bit too far - but if we had it to do over, who would we skip? You?
Helen North : [getting into the car] Thank you, Frank. I never quite knew how to explain it to her.
Frank Beardsley : If we don't get you to the hospital fast, the rest of it's gonna be explained right here!
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Frank Beardsley : [narrating] It was a typical wedding: enemies of the bride on the right, enemies of the groom on the left.
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Frank Beardsley : We've decided to use our company manners. Helen, the boys have something to say to you.
Greg Beardsley : Mrs. North, I apologize for putting all that gin in your drink.
Helen North : Ooh, *that's* what did it.
Rusty Beardsley : And I apologize for all that vodka.
Mike Beardsley : And I apologize for the scotch.
Helen North : Scotch, vodka, and - ?
Frank Beardsley : Helen, you've been the victim of an alcoholic Pearl Harbor. It's amazing you survived at all.
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Colleen North : Larry says he'll never speak to me again unless I grow up. He says that I'm being ridiculous and I don't love him, but I do love him. Am I being ridiculous?
Frank Beardsley : You're not being ridiculous.
Colleen North : Well, do all the other girls, like Larry says? And am I just being old-fashioned?
Frank Beardsley : The same idiots were passing the same rumors when I was your age, but if all the girls did, how come I always ended up with the ones who didn't?
Colleen North : But it's all different now!
Frank Beardsley : I don't know, they wrote Fanny Hill in 1742 and they haven't found anything new since.
Veronica Beardsley : Who's Fanny Hill?
Frank Beardsley : Go to bed, that's who Fanny Hill is.
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Frank Beardsley : I don't quite understand. Am I being stupid?
Helen North : No, you're being a man. Which is sometimes the same thing.
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Frank Beardsley : Is that all? Why didn't she tell me?
Helen North : Because you would have said, "Is that all?".
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Frank Beardsley : [narrating why his ten kids resent him] Truthfully, I think they blamed me for neglecting their mother all those years. But there seemed to me that there was enough physical evidence I hadn't neglected her completely!
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Family Doctor : Call my wife, will you, and tell her I'm on my way home?
[beat]
Family Doctor : And tell her thank you.
Frank Beardsley : For what?
Family Doctor : We don't have any children.
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Helen North : Frank, there's something I have to tell you before we go any further. I have eight children.
[sudden panic]
Helen North : Frank! We're on a cable car!
Frank Beardsley : Of course.
Helen North : I get sick on cable cars!
Frank Beardsley : Well wait'll you hear what I have to tell you. I have TEN children.
Helen North : Ten. TEN? Frank! Eight and ten is...
Frank Beardsley : Ridiculous.
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Helen North : That was a wonderful dinner, I enjoyed all *eight* courses.
Frank Beardsley : So did I.
Helen North : And speaking of children...
Frank Beardsley : We weren't speaking of children.
Helen North : We weren't? Oh thank goodness.
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Frank Beardsley : This is the last time I'm going to bring it up but... you do like children, don't you?
Helen North : Yeah, within reason.
Frank Beardsley : In that case, the hell with it.
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Frank Beardsley : [going out] Mike, see that it's lights out by ten o'clock.
Rosemary Beardsley : Ten o'clock! Are we back in kindergarten?
Louise Beardsley : They stay up later in prison!
Frank Beardsley : Would you like to move?
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Helen North : Now that's just wonderful! And where was Veronica born?
Frank Beardsley : In Japan!
[Helen repeats]
Frank Beardsley : In Japan?
Frank Beardsley : I call her my little fortune cookie 'cause she came right after dinner!
Helen North : [Helen begins to laugh loudly] That's funny!
[ring bells in the kitchen]
Helen North : Where's the fire?
Rosemary Beardsley : Dinner is served!
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Frank Beardsley : It's giving life that counts. Till you're ready for it, the rest is just a big fraud. All the crazy haircuts in the world won't keep it turning. Life isn't a love-in, it's the dishes and the orthodontist... and the shoe repairman... and ground round instead of roast beef. I'll tell you something else. Going to bed with a man doesn't prove your love. It's getting up in the morning and facing the drab, miserable... wonderful everyday world with him that counts.