Butterflies Are Free (1972)
Edward Albert: Don
Photos
Quotes
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Jill : I'm auditioning for a part in a new play with a little theatre group called The Cosmic Workshop. It's about this girl who gets all hung up when she marries a homosexual. Originally he was an alcoholic, but homosexuals are very in now in movies and books and plays, so they changed it.
[pause]
Jill : Are you homosexual?
Don : No, just blind.
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Don : Mother, you have to laugh sometime, or people will think you're a lesbian.
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Mrs. Baker : [trying to make Don come home] If you insist on staying here, I will not support you.
[Don goes to the phone]
Mrs. Baker : What're you doing?
Don : Calling The Chronicle. What a story! 'Florence Baker Refuses to Help the Handicapped!'
Mrs. Baker : Donnie, I'm serious.
Don : Oh, well, then I'll call the New York Times.
Mrs. Baker : What are you going to do for money? The little you saved must be gone now.
Don : I can always walk along the streets with a tin cup.
Mrs. Baker : Now you're embarrassing me.
Don : Oh, no, I'll stay away from Saks.
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Don : Well hate me! Or love me! But don't leave because I'm blind... and don't stay because I'm blind.
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Jill : Boy, I thought I was sloppy!
Don : What do you mean?
Jill : Well, unless you know something I don't. Like, ashes are good for the table. Is that why you keep dropping them on there?
Don : Have you moved the ashtray?
Jill : It's right here, what're ya blind?
Don : Yes.
Jill : What do you mean, yes?
Don : I mean, yes, I'm blind.
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Don : [sings] I knew the day you met me, I could love you if you'd let me, Though you touched my cheek and said how easy you'd forget me. You said: butterflies are free, and so are we.
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[Don and Mrs. Baker are arguing over his decision to support himself as a singer]
Mrs. Baker : May I ask how you arrived at this brilliant decision?
Don : It was elementary, my dear mother - by the process of elimination. I made a lengthy list of all the things I couldn't do... like commercial pilot. I don't think TWA would be too thrilled to have me fly their planes... nor United... nor Pan Am. Photographer? A definite out, along with ball player and cab driver. Matador didn't strike me as too promising. I half-considered becoming an eye doctor, but that would just be a case of the blind leading the blind.
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Don : [phone rings] I'm fine, thank you. How are you? It's warm here. How is it in Hillsborough? Well, it's warm here too.
[picks up phone]
Don : Hello, Mother.
Mrs. Baker : [on the other end] How did you know?
Don : When you call, the phone doesn't ring. It says 'M is for the million things she gave me. O is for... ' I forgot what O is for.
Mrs. Baker : You seem to have forgotten a lot of things lately. How are you feeling?
Don : I'm fine, thank you. How are you?
Mrs. Baker : Very well. How's the weather?
Don : It's warm here. How is it in Hillsborough?
Mrs. Baker : Warm.
Don : Well, it's warm here too.
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Don : Shh... i'm counting so I don't step in the picnic on the way back!
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Don : I could love you if you'd let me.
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Mrs. Baker : [looking around Don's apartment] Where did this furniture come from?
Don : Some of it came with the apartment, the rest I picked up at a junk shop.
Mrs. Baker : Well, don't tell me which is which, let me guess.
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Don : Just ask me if I've felt any good books lately.
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Mrs. Baker : And what is that on your head?
Don : [wearing the hat he bought with Jill] French foreign legion cap.
Mrs. Baker : Oh, have you enlisted?
Don : No, I was drafted.
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Don : I don't want you talking to my friends when i'm not around.
Mrs. Baker : I'll make a note of that.