Not the Nine O'Clock News (1979–1982)
Mel Smith: Various Roles
Quotes
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Doctor : I've got your results back from the lab, and you have the highest level of cholesterol they've ever seen.
Man : Oh.
Doctor : I know this is premature, but when you die, would you consider leaving your body to me?
Man : Well, obviously, if I can be of any help. For research purposes?
Doctor : No, I want to hang you in the garden so the blue-tits can peck at you.
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Ronnie Barker : This is a family show, and I will not allow smut into your home!
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Man : [Slavic Accent] There's no going back, you know?
Various roles : Yes. But don't worry! I'm sure I'm going to be the Best Spy you've ever had!
Man : Spy? No Boyfriend of mine goes out to Work...
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Surgeon : Don't worry, Sir! We were able to save your Testicles! And here they are...
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[a ticket tout solicits a man in a theatre lobby]
Scalper : Psst... here... want a couple of tickets for the Osmonds concert tonight?
Man : Osmonds concert? No.
Scalper : Yeah...! Best seats, no rubbish, front stalls.
Man : How much?
Scalper : Fiver each?
Man : Alright.
Scalper : Two front stalls...
[hand the man two tickets]
Scalper : and five and five...
[hands the man two five pound notes]