Hanky Panky (1982)
Gene Wilder: Michael Jordon
Photos
Quotes
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Ransom : What's your connection with Janet Dunn?
Michael Jordon : [nonchalantly] She's my brother.
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[Michael and Kate are left in control of a small plane with a pilot who has had an apparent heart attack after a bout of burping and belching. A voice on the radio told them they're entering prohibited government airspace and, in grabbing the radio and handing it to Kate to talk, Michael broke the cabling to the transmitter]
Michael Jordon : I knew this would happen! I dreamt about this all my life!
Kate Hellman : Get ahold of yourself.
Michael Jordon : Since I was a little boy, I dreamt this was gonna happen to me!
Kate Hellman : Just get ahold of...
Michael Jordon : Wait a minute. Ask Mr. Puckett: do I bring it in nose first or tail first?
Kate Hellman : Michael he's *dead*!
Michael Jordon : *Don't* say he's dead! Ask him!
Kate Hellman : I can't ask him; he's dead!
Michael Jordon : Will you shut up and ask him?
Kate Hellman : [shouting] Mr. Puckett! Should he bring it in nose first or tail first?
[no response]
Michael Jordon : [calmly] What'd he say?
Kate Hellman : [pounding Michael, screaming] *Michael, he's dead!*
Michael Jordon : [in angry denial] He is not dead, God-!
Kate Hellman : Yes he is! Do something!
Michael Jordon : [fumbles around the controls] Where are the wheels?
Kate Hellman : I don't know. Where are the wheels?
Michael Jordon : Where are the wheels?
Kate Hellman : [sarcastically] Oh, why don't you ask Mr. Puckett where the wheels are?
Michael Jordon : Ha, ha, ha! And why can't I ask Mr. Puckett where the wheels are? Miss Smartass?
Kate Hellman : Ah...
Michael Jordon : Go on, say it!
Kate Hellman : Oh, because he's dead.
Michael Jordon : [re-angered] Will you stop saying he's *dead*? He has *gas*!
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[Kate successfully repairs and starts the fuel truck, then crashes it out the hangar doors, making their escape]
Kate Hellman : Not bad, huh?
Michael Jordon : What?
Kate Hellman : [shouting] Not bad, huh?
Michael Jordon : [exclaiming] You want compliments *now*?
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Kate Hellman : Do something!
Michael Jordon : I am doing something! I'm crashing an airplane!
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[Michael and Janet burst into the back of a taxi from opposite sides at the same time, bumping heads into shoulders]
Michael Jordon : Oh, goddamn...
[sees Janet for the first time]
Michael Jordon : [to Janet] I love you!
Janet Dunn : Get out of my cab!
Michael Jordon : Where is it? Show it to me.
Janet Dunn : [shouting over him] Get out of my cab right now!
Michael Jordon : I'd love to, just tell me which one it is.
Janet Dunn : Driver!
Janet Dunn : [through gritted teeth to Michael] Get out of my cab.
Michael Jordon : This one is *my* cab.
Cab Driver : Nah-ah!
[the Driver turns to look back]
Cab Driver : It's *my* cab. Now, will one of you tell me where to take it?
Michael Jordon : Where do you wanna go, honey?
Janet Dunn : [sees her pursuer behind them, looking for her] Uh...
Michael Jordon : To your place or to mine?
Janet Dunn : [with false calm] I don't care. Let's just go.
Michael Jordon : Just go straight up Park Avenue, all right? We'll tell you exactly where once we finish negotiating.
[a man in a dark suit and fedora watches their departure and takes note of the cab's plates. And so begins Michael Jordon's entanglement]