The Bill (1984–2010)
Scott Maslen: DS Phil Hunter, DS Phill Hunter, Sgt. Phil Hunter
Quotes
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DS Phil Hunter : Why are attics always full of rubbish?
DS Samantha Nixon : Mine's quite tidy actually.
DS Phil Hunter : Well, you're a freak.
DS Samantha Nixon : That's very kind of you
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DC Rob Thatcher : Nixon's been looking for you.
DS Phil Hunter : Oh, yeah? What'd ya say?
DC Rob Thatcher : I said I didn't know where you were.
DS Phil Hunter : Nice one! Yeah, even Ken would've done better than that!
Acting DI Samantha Nixon : DS Hunter! My office now!... I said now!... Where have you been? And don't try telling me it's to do with the Brewer case.
DS Phil Hunter : No, I slipped out.
Acting DI Samantha Nixon : You slipped out? For over two hours? What's going on?
DS Phil Hunter : It's personal.
Acting DI Samantha Nixon : Oh, is it? When I assign you to an investigation, I expect you to just get on with it, not go swanning around to goodness knows where!
DS Phil Hunter : It was important.
Acting DI Samantha Nixon : This job is important. Now I'm under pressure to get results here!
DS Phil Hunter : Yeah, well, so am I... Look, I apologise for not consulting you first, all right? Can I go back and do some work?
Acting DI Samantha Nixon : Well, if it's not too much trouble!
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Acting DI Samantha Nixon : I want results...
DS Phil Hunter : Yeah, well, I was thinking along those sorta lines as well...
Acting DI Samantha Nixon : Well, pull your finger out! And stop skiving!
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Acting DI Samantha Nixon : Err, today would be nice.
DS Phil Hunter : I dunno about you, but I'm pretty sure I won't miss being bossed around by Miss Desperate-To-Be-An-Inspector Nixon.
Acting DI Samantha Nixon : I heard that!
DS Phil Hunter : Yes, of course ya did. With those supernatural senses she would've been dunked a few years back... Witch!
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DS Phil Hunter : Why does the blackmailer want the money dropped off here? I mean, how does he know no-one's gonna pick it up first? And why's this location a convenient place?
DC Suzie Sim : Well, it's overlooked on all four sides, and he or she might be watching us as we speak.
DS Phil Hunter : Yeah, probably in the same building as our OP; how's it going up there, Jo?
DC Jo Masters : You make a lovely couple.
DS Phil Hunter : A lovely couple of what?
DC Jo Masters : No comment!
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DS Phil Hunter : [Putting on aftershave]
DC Jo Masters : That reminds me, I must get my drains sorted...
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[to DS Samantha Nixon]
DS Phil Hunter : Sergeants stick together; maybe you should join the club.
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Acting DI Samantha Nixon : You've made my mind up for me. I want you to act as Family Liaison Officer to the Weavers.
DS Phil Hunter : You what?
Acting DI Samantha Nixon : You heard.
DS Phil Hunter : Guv, I'm hardly tea-and-sympathy material, am I?
DC Rob Thatcher : He's not wrong there, Guv.
DS Phil Hunter : See? Can't you get Eva to do it?
Acting DI Samantha Nixon : Look. I know you've got all the listening skills and empathy of a breeze-block, Phil, but that's not what's needed here. Weaver's up to his neck in all sorts, and some of his associates will've lost a lot of money when Joel Brewer decided not to throw that fight, so if we wanna find that little girl, we need to know who Weaver's wound up. And how nasty they are. And as you're our expert in all things nasty... low... devious...
DS Phil Hunter : Yeah, thanks very much.
Acting DI Samantha Nixon : You're welcome... Shift your arse.
DC Rob Thatcher : [laughs]
DC Rob Thatcher : Wipe that smile off your face, Constable!
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Acting DI Samantha Nixon : Problems, Phillip?
DS Phil Hunter : You don't wanna know.
Acting DI Samantha Nixon : You're damn right I don't wanna know!
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DCI Jack Meadows : You have a choice. You can play my way, or I'll send you home, lock the door, and put two PCs outside.
DS Phil Hunter : What, you're asking me just to do nothing?
DCI Jack Meadows : Yeah, that's about the strength of it...
DS Phil Hunter : Yeah, but how was I to know what the outcome would be?
DCI Jack Meadows : Well, Weaver was never gonna be too pleased, was he, with you sleeping with Christine? Most husbands tend to get annoyed when someone knocks up their missus, and to add insult to injury, you double-crossed him when he was going after Nick Klein.
DS Phil Hunter : Listen, who's heading the MIT squad?
DCI Jack Meadows : Sherlock Holmes, as far as you're concerned!
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DS Samantha Nixon : Happy New Year. Are you OK?
DS Phil Hunter : Yeah, why shouldn't I be? Listen, I've been dumped by better women than you.
DS Samantha Nixon : No, you haven't.
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DC Jo Masters : Is this the same Henderson family that I read about?
DS Samantha Nixon : Sun Hill's famous lottery winners?
DS Phil Hunter : Yeah, turns out they really do have money to burn...
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DC Jo Masters : Not like you to give up so easily...
DS Phil Hunter : What d'you mean?
DC Jo Masters : You get your teeth into a Section-18 search, you don't normally let go?
DS Phil Hunter : You've got a suspicious mind, DC Masters.
DC Jo Masters : Yeah, goes with the job!
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DC Jo Masters : D'ya know, I don't know who put what on your porridge this morning, but this whole sergeant-major impression is getting a little bit annoying.
DS Phil Hunter : You keep your tights on, all right? I'll do it myself!
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DCI Jack Meadows : Glad you could join us. How's your day going?
Sgt Phil Hunter : Yeah, it just got better, Guv. What do you need me for?
DCI Jack Meadows : Right. You see this? When it rings, you pick it up, and you go "Hello?" like that, and then you write down the details. Think you can manage that?