The Bill (1984–2010)
Patrick Robinson: DC Jacob Banks
Quotes
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DI Samantha Nixon : Is this the place?
DC Jacob Banks : Tom Norris' agent said he was doing a lunchtime gig.
DI Samantha Nixon : Lunchtime stripping... My life's clearly far too tame... I normally just fancy a sandwich...
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DI Samantha Nixon : No, no. Go on. What's wrong with it?
DC Jacob Banks : Nothing as such, Guv, but it's quite a list to wade through. If you want it to read better, you could break it up with some semicolons. They're...
DI Samantha Nixon : Yeah, little commas with dots on the top, yeah, I know what they are, Banksy.
DC Jacob Banks : Right, well, I wasn't suggesting that you don't...
DI Samantha Nixon : I'd like to see you try this with Jack Meadows!
DC Jacob Banks : That'd be Jack 'No Spell Check' Meadows?
DI Samantha Nixon : I knew it was a mistake bringing a teacher into the department.
PC Millie Brown : Excuse me, Ma'am. Can I just have a word with Banksy?
DI Samantha Nixon : Only if you put your hand up first.
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DS Stuart Turner : Right... We've got a fire on Waterview Road, Uniform are dealing with it but it looks accidental, so I need anyone?
DC Jacob Banks : There's some dry paint in custody that needs watching...
DC Mickey Webb : Sorry I'm late Sarge, traffic was murder.
DC Jo Masters : Oh, yeah? Nothing to do with the late night you had out with Terry and Stevie then?
DC Mickey Webb : Does this face look like it's hungover?
DC Jacob Banks : Yes.
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CSE Eddie Olosunje : The body is that of a five foot ten Caucasian male, aged 22 years.
DC Jacob Banks : How can you tell that without a post-mortem?
CSE Eddie Olosunje : Erm... He was a studious young man with a thirst for knowledge... Wait a minute, I'm getting more... His name was William, William Lucas...
DC Jacob Banks : You found his wallet...?
CSE Eddie Olosunje : Yeah, it was tucked under the brickwork. His library card was dated 1978.
DC Jacob Banks : So he's been in there for 30 years?
CSE Eddie Olosunje : Yeah. His overdue fees must be enormous...
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DC Jacob Banks : Give it some welly!
DC Jo Masters : I am giving it welly!
DC Mickey Webb : Well try and give it some proper Northern welly!
DC Jo Masters : I'll give you some Northern welly in a minute!
DS Max Carter : What's going on there?
DC Mickey Webb : Jo's just having a slight problem with the filing cabinet.
DS Max Carter : Try giving it some welly!
DC Jo Masters : I AM!