Photos
Quotes
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Remo Williams : How old are you? I mean really, you are old, now aren't you?
Chiun : For an apricot, yes. For a head of lettuce, even more so. For a mountain, I have not even begun in years. For a man, I am just right.
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Chiun : It would be better for you to eat this can than what is inside of it. Why must everything in this country be coated with monositi-... monosoti...
Remo Williams : Monosodium glutamate. You can't even say it.
Chiun : I can say "rat droppings." That does not mean I want to eat them.
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Remo Williams : You know, Chiun, you're a real pain in the ass.
Chiun : That is because it is the shortest route to your brain!
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Remo Williams : [Last lines] Chiun, you're incredible!
Chiun : No! I am better than that.
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Chiun : Women should stay home and make babies. Preferably, manchild.
Major Rayner Fleming : [to Remo] I see you both went to the same charm school.
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Chiun : You move like a pregnant yak. Sit.
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Remo Williams : [57:55] You know, Chiun, there are times when I really like you.
Chiun : Of course. I am Chiun.
Remo Williams : And there are times when I could really kill you.
Chiun : Good! We will practice that after dinner.
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Chiun : The trained mind does not need a watch. Watches are a confidence trick invented by the Swiss.
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Chiun : Professional assassination... is the highest form of public service.
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[Remo dangles from a car on the Wonder Wheel]
Remo Williams : Jesus!
Chiun : Concentrate! This is NO time for prayer!
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Chiun : You did not ask to be white. So perhaps that is not your fault. You did not ask to be here. Perhaps that is not your fault, either.
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Chiun : Fear is just a feeling. You feel hot. You feel hungry. You feel angry. You feel afraid. Fear can never kill you.
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Remo Williams : [Remo hears Chiun singing a song in Korean] Is it painful?
Chiun : I was singing an old Korean love song.
Remo Williams : It's a wonder the race isn't extinct.
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Remo Williams : I've got a job to do.
Chiun : Remo!
[whispers in Remo's ear]
Chiun : Do not embarrass us.
Remo Williams : I won't... Little Father.
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Chiun : I do not wear glasses so that I may see. I wear glasses so that I may see... more.
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Conn MacCleary : [referring to Remo] Well, Chiun? What do you think?
Chiun : He's very slow. His reflexes are pitiful; poorly coordinated. He's in wretched physical condition, impetuous, and clumsy. He moves like a baboon with two club feet! However, there is a feeble glint of promise in his eyes. I think I can do something with him.
Conn MacCleary : Good.
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Chiun : [having just sprinted across the surface of a lake] You must run *very* fast.
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Remo Williams : Are you hurt?
Chiun : No. When you approach middle age, there is a tendency toward bruising, my son.
Remo Williams : What? What did you call me?
Chiun : I called you a clumsy oaf! You drive like a monkey in heat!
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Remo Williams : Do you always talk like a Chinese fortune cookie?
[Outraged, Chiun strikes Remo in his solar plexus. Remo stumbles to the window, partially paralyzed, and in pain]
Chiun : Chinese! *Korean* is the most perfect creature ever to sanctify the earth with the imprint of its foot.
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Chiun : Karate, Kung Fu, Ninjitsu - they are but shadows. Sinanju is the Sun.
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Chiun : [Standing on Remo's stomach] Breathe out... slowly... do not gulp. If you do not breathe correctly, you do not move correctly. Pitiful. I can see the deadly hamburger has done its evil work.
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[Chiun pulls the trigger on a revolver, click, click, click]
Remo Williams : You used the other four yesterday.
Chiun : [Chiun fires a round nearly hitting Remo in the head] I reloaded.
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Chiun : Remember, perfection is a road, not a destination.
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Chiun : In Korea, door handles do not break.
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Remo Williams : [Chiun is staring intently at the TV] What are you watching?
Chiun : Your country's one and only contribution to the arts. It concern family... Iove, honor, and courage. All that is noblest in the human spirit.
Remo Williams : It's a soap opera for Christ's sake!
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Remo Williams : [Last lines, while speeding away on a boat] Sometimes you're a real pain in the ass!
Chiun : That is because it is the shortest route to your brain! But we must hurry!
Remo Williams : What's the rush?
Chiun : We must return in time to see if Jim is truly going to walk.
Remo Williams : What'd you say?
Chiun : Or has the doctor merely told him so because he hoped to get a new wing for the hospital from his stepmother.
Remo Williams : Chiun, you're incredible!
Chiun : No! I am better than that!
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Chiun : Purge your mind of fear and believe in yourself.
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Chiun : It is called fast food because it speeds you to the grave.
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Chiun : [51:00] No rice
Remo Williams : no rice
Chiun : You forgot the rice!
Remo Williams : Maybe we could grow some!
Chiun : Maybe you could spare me your feeble attempt at humor and save it for the shopkeeper at the corner he has excellent chung chu rice.
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Chiun : Success is a journey, not a destination.
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Chiun : You move like a baboon... with two clubbed feet!
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Chiun : [50:16] It would be better for you to eat this can that's what is inside of it.