The Great Mouse Detective (1986)
Vincent Price: Professor Ratigan
Photos
Quotes
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Ratigan : Oh, I love it when I'm nasty. Fidget?
[Fidget snores]
Ratigan : FIDGET!
[Fidget wakes up, falling to the ground]
Ratigan : Bright and alert as always. Here's the list. You know what to do and no mistakes!
Fidget : No-no-no mistakes. Tools, gears, girl, uniforms...
Ratigan : NOW, FIDGET!
Fidget : I'm going, I'm going, I'm going!
[Fidget scurries off]
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Ratigan : Ah, the uniforms! Oh, Fidget, I knew I could rely on you. Now, you didn't forget anything?
Fidget : No problem. I took care of everything. Everything on the list...
[tries to display the list but, to his amazement, the list is gone]
Ratigan : What's wrong?
Fidget : The list... but I know I...
Ratigan : Where's the list?
Fidget : The list, yeah, yeah yeah. Well, you see it was like this. I was in the toy store getting uniforms when I heard a "aroo aroo".
Ratigan : [irritated] You're not coming through.
Fidget : A dog came! I ran! I had baby bonnet, girl in bag, and Basil ch-chased me.
Ratigan : What? Basil on the case? Why, you gibbering, little... hm... hm... HMMMMM!
[restrains himself as Fidget cowers. Then suddenly calms down]
Ratigan : [chuckles] Oh, my dear Fidget. You have been hanging upside down too long.
[lovingly scooping up Fidget he walks toward Felicia's lair]
Fidget : You mean you're not mad? I'm glad you're taking it so well.
[Ratigan rings the dinner bell to summon Felicia]
Fidget : [as he's being eaten] Aaaah! Not me, you idiot! No, stop, you stupid furball! Open up! Open up! You're hurting my wings!
Ratigan : [rubbing his forehead] How dare that idiot Basil poke his stupid nose into my wonderful scheme and foul up everything?
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Ratigan : I have the power!
Robot Queen : Of course you do.
Ratigan : I am supreme!
Robot Queen : Only you.
Ratigan : This is my kingdom!
[maniacal laugh]
Ratigan : That is, of course, with your highness' permission.
[the robot is idle; Ratigan slaps it to start it again]
Robot Queen : Most assuredly... you insidious fiend.
Ratigan : What?
Robot Queen : You're not my royal consort!
Ratigan : [to crowd] Such a sense of humor.
Robot Queen : You're a cheap fraud & impostor!
Ratigan : [under his breath] Flaversham!
Basil : [operating the robot] A corrupt, vicious, demented, lowlife scoundrel. There's no evil scheme you wouldn't concoct.
[the robot goes crazy and breaks apart]
Robot Queen : No depravity you wouldn't commit. You, Professor, are none other than a foul stenchus rodentus, commonly known as a...
Ratigan : Don't say it!
Basil : [bursting out into the palace] ... Sewer rat!
Ratigan : AAAARRRRGH!
Basil : Arrest that fiend!
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Ratigan : [reading a list of newly devised laws] Item 96: A heavy tax shall be levied against all parasites and spongers, such as the elderly, the infirm, and especially little children.
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Ratigan : Bravo! Bravo! A marvelous performance! Although I was expecting you fifteen minutes earlier. Trouble with the chemistry set, old boy?
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Ratigan : Fidget, you delightful little maniac! You've provided me with a singular opportunity. Poor Basil. Oh, he's in for a little surprise.
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Ratigan : You don't know what a delightful dilemma it was, trying to decide on the most appropriate method for your demise. Oh, I had so many ingenious ideas I didn't know which to choose. So I decided to use them all. Marvelous, isn't it? But, here, let me show you how it works. Picture this. First, a sprightly tune I've recorded especially for you. As the song plays, the cord tightens, and when the song ends, the metal ball is released, rolling along its merry way until...
[points at mousetrap]
Ratigan : Snap!
[points at gun]
Ratigan : Boom!
[points at crossbow]
Ratigan : Twang!
[points at axe]
Ratigan : Thunk!
[points at anvil]
Ratigan : Splat! And so ends the short, undistinguished career of Basil of Baker Street.
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Ratigan : Now, you will remember to smile for the camera, won't you? Say "Cheese".
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Henchmen : [singing] Oh Ratigan, oh Ratigan / You're tops, and that's that / To Ratigan, to Ratigan...
Bartholomew : To Ratigan, the world's greatest rat! Hic!
[Ratigan does spit take; the henchmen turn in terror]
Ratigan : What was that?
Bartholomew : Hic!
Ratigan : What did you call me?
Henchmen : Oh, he didn't mean it, Professor!
Henchman #2 : It... it was just a slip of the tongue.
Ratigan : I am not a rat!
Henceman #3 : Course you're not.
Thug Guard : You're a mouse.
Henchman #2 : Yeah, a-a big mouse.
Ratigan : Silence!
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[henchmen cheer as Ratigan reviews his illustrious career]
Ratigan : Thank you, thank you. But it hasn't all been champagne and caviar. I've had my share of adversity, thanks to that miserable, second-rate detective, Basil of Baker Street!
Henchmen : Boo!
Ratigan : For years, that insufferable pipsqueak has interfered with my plans, and I haven't had a moment's peace of mind.
Henchmen : Aaw...
Bartholomew : [cries]
Ratigan : But all that's in the past! This time, nothing, not even Basil, can stand in my way! All will bow before me!
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Hiram Flaversham : You can do what you want with me. I won't be a part of this-this... this evil any longer!
[Ratigan is getting extremely angry and impatient, but composes himself and grins]
Ratigan : Oh, very well, if that is your decision.
[pulls out Olivia's toy ballerina and winds it up]
Ratigan : Oh, by the way, I'm taking the liberty of having your daughter brought here.
Hiram Flaversham : O... Olivia?
Ratigan : Yes. I would spend many a sleepless night if anything unfortunate were to befall her.
Hiram Flaversham : You... Y-You wouldn't!
[Ratigan crushes the ballerina in his hand and looks at it with mock pity, then briefly at Flaversham]
Ratigan : [abruptly leans in threateningly and shouts] FINISH IT, FLAVERSHAM!
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Ratigan : Oh, my dear Bartholomew. I'm afraid that you've gone and upset me. You know what happens when someone upsets me.
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[Ratigan has ridiculed Basil]
Dr. Dawson : You fiend!
Ratigan : Sorry, chubby. You should have chosen your friends more carefully.
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Ratigan : My friends, we are about to embark on the most odious, the most evil, the most diabolical scheme of my illustrious career. A crime to top all crimes, a crime that will live in infamy!
[henchmen cheer]
Ratigan : Tomorrow evening, our beloved monarch celebrates her Diamond Jubilee. And with the enthusiastic help of our good friend, Mr. Flaversham...
[henchmen chuckle]
Ratigan : ...it promises to be a night she'll never forget.
[burns picture of Queen with cigarette]
Ratigan : Her last night, and my first as supreme ruler of all mousedom!
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Ratigan : Oh, Felicia, my precious, my baby. Did daddy's little honey-bunny enjoy her tasty treat?
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Dr. Dawson : You're... despicable!
Ratigan : Hehe... Yes.
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Ratigan : [confronting Basil at the clock tower] There's no escape THIS time, Basil.
