The Great Mouse Detective (1986)
Barrie Ingham: Basil, Bartholomew
Photos
Quotes
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Ratigan : I have the power!
Robot Queen : Of course you do.
Ratigan : I am supreme!
Robot Queen : Only you.
Ratigan : This is my kingdom!
[maniacal laugh]
Ratigan : That is, of course, with your highness' permission.
[the robot is idle; Ratigan slaps it to start it again]
Robot Queen : Most assuredly... you insidious fiend.
Ratigan : What?
Robot Queen : You're not my royal consort!
Ratigan : [to crowd] Such a sense of humor.
Robot Queen : You're a cheap fraud & impostor!
Ratigan : [under his breath] Flaversham!
Basil : [operating the robot] A corrupt, vicious, demented, lowlife scoundrel. There's no evil scheme you wouldn't concoct.
[the robot goes crazy and breaks apart]
Robot Queen : No depravity you wouldn't commit. You, Professor, are none other than a foul stenchus rodentus, commonly known as a...
Ratigan : Don't say it!
Basil : [bursting out into the palace] ... Sewer rat!
Ratigan : AAAARRRRGH!
Basil : Arrest that fiend!
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Basil : There's always a chance, Doctor, as long as one can think.
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Olivia Flaversham : Now will you please listen to me? My daddy's gone, and I'm all alone.
Basil : Young lady, this is a most inopportune time.
[Resumes playing violin]
Basil : Surely your mother knows where he is.
Olivia Flaversham : I... I don't have a mother.
Basil : [Stops playing with a screech] Well, um... then perhaps... See here! I simply have no time for lost fathers.
Olivia Flaversham : I didn't lose him. He was taken by a bat.
Basil : Did you say... bat?
Olivia Flaversham : Yes.
Basil : Did he have a crippled wing?
Olivia Flaversham : I don't know, but he had a peg leg.
Basil : Ha!
Dr. Dawson : I say, do you know him?
Basil : Know him? That bat, one Fidget by name, is in the employ of the very fiend that was the target of my experiment! The horror of my every waking moment. The nefarious Professor Ratigan!
Dr. Dawson : Ratigan?
Basil : He's a genius, Dawson. A genius twisted for evil. The Napoleon of crime!
Dr. Dawson : As bad as all that, eh?
Basil : Worse! For years I've tried to capture him, and I've come close, so very close, but each time he's narrowly evaded my grasp! Not a corner of London is safe while Ratigan is at large. There's no evil scheme he wouldn't concoct. No depravity he wouldn't commit. Who knows what dastardly scheme that villian may be plotting even as we speak.
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Basil : Ratigan, no one can have a higher opinion of you than I have, and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
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Dr. Dawson : Dash it all, Basil! The Queen's in danger, Olivia's counting on us, we're about to be horribly "splatted" and all you can do is lie there feeling sorry for yourself. Well, I know you can save us, but if you've given up then why don't we just set it off now and be done with it?
Basil : [feebly] He he. "Set it off now." Set if off... now?
[triumphantly]
Basil : Ha ha! Yes! We'll set the trap off now!
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Basil : [concerning Professor Ratigan] There's no evil scheme he wouldn't concoct! No depravity he wouldn't commit.
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Dr. Dawson : Well, it's time I was on my way too.
Basil : But... umm... but I thought...
Dr. Dawson : Well, the case is over, and perhaps... well perhaps it's best I found my own living quarters.
Basil : But...
[Knock on door]
Basil : Oh, now who could that be?
[Dawson opens door; a lady mouse is standing there]
Lady Mouse : Is this the home of the famous Basil of Baker Street?
Dr. Dawson : Indeed it is, miss. You look as if you're in some kind of trouble.
Lady Mouse : Oh, I am. I am.
Dr. Dawson : Then you have come to precisely the right place.
Basil : Ah, allow me to introduce my trusted associate Dr. Dawson, with whom I do all of my cases. Isn't that right, doctor?
Dr. Dawson : Oh? Why, yes. By all means.
Basil : As you can see, Dawson, this young lady is from the Hampstead district, and is troubled about the mysterious disappearance of an emerald ring in the third finger of her right hand. Now, tell me the story, and pray, be precise.
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Henchmen : [singing] Oh Ratigan, oh Ratigan / You're tops, and that's that / To Ratigan, to Ratigan...
Bartholomew : To Ratigan, the world's greatest rat! Hic!
[Ratigan does spit take; the henchmen turn in terror]
Ratigan : What was that?
Bartholomew : Hic!
Ratigan : What did you call me?
Henchmen : Oh, he didn't mean it, Professor!
Henchman #2 : It... it was just a slip of the tongue.
Ratigan : I am not a rat!
Henceman #3 : Course you're not.
Thug Guard : You're a mouse.
Henchman #2 : Yeah, a-a big mouse.
Ratigan : Silence!
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Olivia Flaversham : Goodbye, Basil.
[sniffles]
Olivia Flaversham : I... I'll never forget you.
Basil : Nor I you, Miss... Miss Flangerhanger.
Dr. Dawson : [chuckles] Whatever.
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Dr. Dawson : How the deuce did you know I was a doctor?
Basil : A surgeon to be exact. Just returned from military duty in Afghanistan. Am I right?
Dr. Dawson : Why, ha, ha, yes. Major David Q. Dawson. But how could you possibly...?
Basil : Quite simple, really. You've sewn your torn cuff together with a Lambert stich, which, of course, only a surgeon uses. And the thread is a unique form of cat-gut, easily distinguished by its peculiar pungency, found only in the Afghan provinces.
Dr. Dawson : Amazing!
Basil : Actually, it's elementary, my dear Dawson.
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[henchmen cheer as Ratigan reviews his illustrious career]
Ratigan : Thank you, thank you. But it hasn't all been champagne and caviar. I've had my share of adversity, thanks to that miserable, second-rate detective, Basil of Baker Street!
Henchmen : Boo!
Ratigan : For years, that insufferable pipsqueak has interfered with my plans, and I haven't had a moment's peace of mind.
Henchmen : Aaw...
Bartholomew : [cries]
Ratigan : But all that's in the past! This time, nothing, not even Basil, can stand in my way! All will bow before me!
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Basil : [Regarding Fidget's note] Offhand I can deduce very little, Only that the words are written with a broad-tip quill pen that has spattered, twice; that the paper is of native Mongolia manufacture, no watermark; and has
[smacks his lips against the paper]
Basil : been gummed, if I'm very much in error...
[smells paper]
Basil : ...by a bat who has been drinking Rodent's Delight, a cheap brandy served only in the seediests pubs.
Dr. Dawson : Hmm. Amazing.
Basil : Oh, not really, doctor. We still don't know where it came from. Perhaps a closer inspection will tell us something.
[Looks at note under microscope]
Basil : Coal dust, clearly of the type used in sewer lamps.
[Takes note and sets it on fire]
Dr. Dawson : Basil!
Basil : Shh. Don't speak.
[He grinds the ashes in a crucible and pours them into a beaker]
Basil : Excuse me, Doctor.
[Takes beaker and a bottle of liquid]
Basil : Steady hand...
[pours a drop into beaker and sets it at the other end of a pipe; he boils a liquid on the other end, watching as it goes through the pipe]
Basil : Come on, come on. Good, bad, bad, good. Come on, come on, come on.
[Liquid finally reaches beaker; chemical explodes]
Basil : Aha! We've done it, old fellow! This chemical reaction could only be triggered by the paper's extreme saturation with distilation of sodium chloride.
Dr. Dawson : Salt water? Great Scott.
Basil : It proves beyond a shadow of a doubt, this note came from the riverfront area.
[Pins a map of the river on the wall]
Dr. Dawson : Now, steady on, Basil...
Basil : No, it's elementary, Dawson. We simply look for a seedy pub at the only spot...
[Pins dart on map]
Basil : ...where the sewer connects with the riverfront.
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Basil : Don't worry, old fellow. It's not *entirely* hopeless.
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Dr. Dawson : Scoundrel's quite gone.
Basil : But not for long, Miss Flamhammer!
Olivia Flaversham : Flaversham!
Basil : Whatever.
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Basil : Dawson, these drinks have been... drugged!
[Dawson has drunken his mug of drugged beer]
Dr. Dawson : [drunkenly] Has a rather nice bite to it... Jolly good, lady! Jolly good!
Basil : Get a hold of yourself, Dawson!
Dr. Dawson : Oh... bravo! Bravo!
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Basil : Remember, Dawson, we're low-life ruffians.
Dr. Dawson : Well, I was until that...
Basil : Shh!
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Basil : Now, Toby, sit!
[Toby doesn't sit]
Basil : [sternly] Toby... sit!
Olivia Flaversham : Sit, Toby!
[Toby sits]
Basil : Good boy...
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Dr. Dawson : What-what-what did he mean an engagement at Buckingham Palace?
Basil : Haven't you figured it out yet, Doctor? The Queen's in danger and the empire is doomed.
Dr. Dawson : [Alarmed] The Queen?
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Bar Maid : What'll you have?
Dr. Dawson : I'll have a dry sherry, with, oh, perhaps a twist of...
Basil : Two pints for me and my shipmate. Oh, by the way. We just got into port. We're looking for an old friend of mine. Maybe you know him. Goes by the name... of Ratigan!
[Everyone at the bar gasps and turn to Basil]
Bar Maid : I... never heard of him.
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Basil : Aha, Dawson! We've found it at last. Ratigan's secret lair. And it's filthier than I imagined.
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Olivia Flaversham : I'm coming too!
Basil : What? Certainly not! This is no business for children.
Olivia Flaversham : Are we going to take a cab?
Basil : [groans] My dear, I don't think you understand - it will be quite dangerous!
[he sits on his violin, breaking it in two]
Basil : Why, you...! Look at...!
[restraining himself]
Basil : Young lady... you are most definitely NOT accompanying us! And that is FINAL!
[cut to next scene of Olivia with Basil]
Basil : And not a word out of you.
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Basil : [pointing to a pinhole in a glass on the toy shop window] Aha! Here is our friend's entrance.
Dr. Dawson : Bu-But, Basil, how could he fit in through such a tiny...?
Basil : Observe, Doctor.
[plugs Dawson's finger on the hole; as he pulls it away, the glass slides open]
Dr. Dawson : Basil, you astound me!
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Dr. Dawson : Oh, my! Upon my word. I've never seen so many toys.
Basil : Behind any of which could lurk a blood-thirsty assassin! So, please, Doctor, be very careful.
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Basil : Ratigan, no-one has a higher opinion of you than I do.
