Dorf on Golf (1987 Video)
Tim Conway: Dorf
Quotes
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Dorf : Leonard will of course, be selecting the right club for me, and giving me some information on the course itself. Right, Leonard?
Leonard : Huh?
Dorf : The club, Leonard, the club! You'll be giving me information about the course, and selecting the right club.
Leonard : Club's over there.
Dorf : Leonard, that's the clubHOUSE.
Leonard : It's pretty, isn't it?
Dorf : [sarcastically] Isn't it, though?
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Dorf : Leonard, why don't you consider getting to bed a little early tonight? You wouldn't want to miss a visit from the IQ fairy.
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[the course map has just fallen on Dorf's head]
Dorf : Boom-Boom? Da hole go bang-bang here.
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[Dorf is in the rough trying to get his ball out while Leonard watches on from a far distance]
Dorf : [shouting] Leonard! Keepa your eye ona da ball!
[pause]
Leonard : [shouting] Right!
[Dorf swings and misses]
Leonard : [shouting] Was that a stroke?
Dorf : [shouting] No! When you hit da ball, it's a stroke! Dat was just practice!
Leonard : [shouting] Right!
[Dorf swings and misses again]
Leonard : [shouting] Was that a practice?
Dorf : [shouting] Shut up!
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[referring to a piece of golf equipment worn on his leg]
Dorf : What this is, is a little 'lectrical device that gives you a little electrical reminder that if you move your leg too far to one side like that boy, it gives you a little *zzzt*. I'll show you how that-a works.
[as Dorf leans over to one side, the device gives him a painful electric shock]
Dorf : Leonard, you got that-a plugged into the 220 line! It's supposed to be just-a to that little battery! Aaah!