- Henry Hill: You're a pistol, you're really funny. You're really funny.
- Tommy DeVito: What do you mean I'm funny?
- Henry Hill: It's funny, you know. It's a good story, it's funny, you're a funny guy.
- [laughs]
- Tommy DeVito: What do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What?
- Henry Hill: It's just, you know. You're just funny, it's... funny, you know the way you tell the story and everything.
- Tommy DeVito: [it becomes quiet] Funny how? What's funny about it?
- Anthony Stabile: Tommy no, you got it all wrong.
- Tommy DeVito: Oh, oh, Anthony. He's a big boy, he knows what he said. What did ya say? Funny how?
- Henry Hill: Jus...
- Tommy DeVito: What?
- Henry Hill: Just... ya know... you're funny.
- Tommy DeVito: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
- Henry Hill: Just... you know, how you tell the story, what?
- Tommy DeVito: No, no, I don't know, you said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the fuck am I funny, what the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what's funny!
- Henry Hill: [long pause] Get the fuck out of here, Tommy!
- Tommy DeVito: [everyone laughs] Ya motherfucker! I almost had him, I almost had him. Ya stuttering prick ya. Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning.
- Henry Hill: [narrating] Paulie may have moved slow, but it was only because Paulie didn't have to move for anybody.
- Henry Hill: [narrating] You know, we always called each other good fellas. Like you said to, uh, somebody, "You're gonna like this guy. He's all right. He's a good fella. He's one of us." You understand? We were good fellas. Wiseguys. But Jimmy and I could never be made because we had Irish blood. It didn't even matter that my mother was Sicilian. To become a member of a crew you've got to be one hundred per cent Italian so they can trace all your relatives back to the old country. See, it's the highest honor they can give you. It means you belong to a family and crew. It means that nobody can fuck around with you. It also means you could fuck around with anybody just as long as they aren't also a member. It's like a license to steal. It's a license to do anything. As far as Jimmy was concerned with Tommy being made, it was like we were all being made. We would now have one of our own as a member.
- Tommy DeVito: No more shines, Billy.
- Billy Batts: What?
- Tommy DeVito: I said, no more shines. Maybe you didn't hear about it, you've been away a long time. They didn't go up there and tell you. I don't shine shoes anymore.
- Billy Batts: Relax, will ya? Ya flip right out, what's got into you? I'm breaking your balls a little bit, that's all. I'm only kidding with ya...
- Tommy DeVito: Sometimes you don't sound like you're kidding, you know, there's a lotta people around...
- Billy Batts: I'm only kidding with you, we're having a party, I just came home and I haven't seen you in a long time and I'm breaking your balls, and you're getting fucking fresh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.
- Tommy DeVito: I'm sorry too. It's okay. No problem.
- Billy Batts: Okay, salud.
- Billy Batts: [takes a drink] Now go home and get your fuckin' shinebox.
- Tommy DeVito: Mother fuckin' mutt! You, you fucking piece of shit!
- Billy Batts: [taunting] Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on, come on, come on!
- Tommy DeVito: Motherfucking... He bought his fucking button! That fake old tough guy! You bought your fucking button! You mother fuck... Fuck! Keep that motherfucker here, keep him here!
- [leaves]
- [last lines]
- Henry Hill: [narrating] Anything I wanted was a phone call away. Free cars. The keys to a dozen hideout flats all over the city. I bet twenty, thirty grand over a weekend and then I'd either blow the winnings in a week or go to the sharks to pay back the bookies.
- [Henry leaves the witness stand and speaks directly to the camera]
- Henry Hill: Didn't matter. It didn't mean anything. When I was broke, I'd go out and rob some more. We ran everything. We paid off cops. We paid off lawyers. We paid off judges. Everybody had their hands out. Everything was for the taking. And now it's all over.
- [narrating]
- Henry Hill: And that's the hardest part. Today everything is different; there's no action... have to wait around like everyone else. Can't even get decent food - right after I got here, I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce, and I got egg noodles and ketchup. I'm an average nobody... get to live the rest of my life like a schnook.
- Stacks Edwards: What time is it?
- Tommy DeVito: It's eleven thirty, we're supposed to be there by nine.
- Stacks Edwards: Be ready in a minute.
- Tommy DeVito: Yeah, you were always fuckin' late, you were late for your own fuckin' funeral.
- [shoots him]
- Henry Hill: [narrating] Now the guy's got Paulie as a partner. Any problems, he goes to Paulie. Trouble with the bill? He can go to Paulie. Trouble with the cops, deliveries, Tommy, he can call Paulie. But now the guy's gotta come up with Paulie's money every week, no matter what. Business bad? Fuck you, pay me. Oh, you had a fire? Fuck you, pay me. Place got hit by lightning, huh? Fuck you, pay me.
- Henry Hill: [narrating, Henry has just been busted for dealing drugs] For a second I thought I was dead. But, when I heard all the noise, I knew they were cops. Only cops talk that way. If they'd been wiseguys, I wouldn't have heard a thing. I would've been dead.
- Jimmy Conway: [after Tommy shoots Spider] What's the fuckin' matter with you? What - what is the fuckin' matter with you? What are you, stupid or what? Tommy, Tommy, I'm kidding with you. What the fuck are you doin'? What are you, a fuckin' sick maniac?
- Tommy DeVito: How am I meant to know you're kidding? What you mean, you're kidding? You breaking my fuckin' balls?
- Jimmy Conway: I'm fuckin' kidding with you! You fuckin' shoot the guy?
- Henry Hill: He's dead.
- Tommy DeVito: Good shot. What do you want from me? Good shot.
- Anthony Stabile: How could you miss at this distance?
- Tommy DeVito: What? You got a problem with what I did Anthony?
- Anthony Stabile: No
- Tommy DeVito: Fuckin' rat anyway. His family's all rats. He'll grow up to be a rat.
- Jimmy Conway: You stupid bastard, I can't fuckin' believe you. Now, you're gonna dig the fuckin' thing now. You're gonna dig the hole. You're gonna do it. I got no fuckin' lime. You're gonna do it.
- Tommy DeVito: Who the fuck cares? I'll dig the fuckin' hole. I don't give a fuck. What is it, the first hole I dug? Not the first time I dug a hole. I'll fuckin' dig a hole. Where are the shovels?
- Henry Hill: [narrating] And then there was Jimmy Two Times, who got that nickname because he said everything twice, like:
- Jimmy Two Times: I'm gonna go get the papers, get the papers.
- Henry Hill: [narrating] If you're part of a crew, nobody ever tells you that they're going to kill you, doesn't happen that way. There weren't any arguments or curses like in the movies. See, your murderers come with smiles, they come as your friends, the people who've cared for you all of your life. And they always seem to come at a time that you're at your weakest and most in need of their help.
- Karen: [narrating] I know there are women, like my best friends, who would have gotten out of there the minute their boyfriend gave them a gun to hide. But I didn't. I got to admit the truth. It turned me on.
- Spider: [hesitating] Why don't you go fuck yourself, Tommy?
- Jimmy Conway: [stunned silence] Whoa! Can't believe what I just heard. Hey Spider, here. This is for you.
- [tosses money on the table]
- Jimmy Conway: Attaboy! I got respect for this kid. He's got a lot of fucking balls. Good for you! Don't take no shit off nobody.
- Jimmy Conway: I'm not mad, I'm proud of you. You took your first pinch like a man and you learn two great things in your life. Look at me, never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut.
- Henry Hill: [narrating] For us to live any other way was nuts. Uh, to us, those goody-good people who worked shitty jobs for bum paychecks and took the subway to work every day, and worried about their bills, were dead. I mean, they were suckers. They had no balls. If we wanted something, we just took it. If anyone complained twice they got hit so bad, believe me, they never complained again.
- Karen: What do you do?
- Henry Hill: I'm in construction.
- Karen: [She feels the softness of his hands] They don't feel like you're in construction.
- Henry Hill: Ah, I'm a union delegate.
- Tommy's Mother: Why don't you get yourself a nice girl?
- Tommy DeVito: I get a nice one almost every night., Ma
- Tommy's Mother: Yeah, but get yourself a girl so you could settle down.
- Tommy DeVito: I settle down almost every night but then, in the morning, I'm free.
- Henry Hill: [narrating] One day some of the kids from the neighborhood carried my mother's groceries all the way home. You know why? It was outta respect.
- Henry Hill: [narrating] I felt he used too many onions, but it was still a very good sauce.
- Paul Cicero: Vinnie, don't put too many onions in the sauce.
- Vinnie: I didn't put too much onions, uh, Paul. Three small onions. That's all I did.
- Johnny Dio: Three onions? How many cans of tomatoes you put in there?
- Vinnie: I put two cans, two big cans.
- Johnny Dio: You don't need three onions.
- Tommy DeVito: We hit the deer and his paw... What do you call it? The paw.
- Jimmy Conway: [Speaking through a mouth full of pasta] The hoof.
- Tommy DeVito: It got caught in the grill. I got to hack it off.
- Henry Hill: [narrating] Killing's got to be accepted. Murder was the only way that everybody stayed in line. You got out of line, you got whacked. Everybody knew the rules.
- Tommy DeVito: [sitting in car with Henry] The only thing, is she won't go out with me alone, you know?
- Henry Hill: No.
- Tommy DeVito: No, what?
- Henry Hill: No.
- Tommy DeVito: No, what, Henry? Who the fuck asked you anything? I didn't even ask you anything, at least hear what I have to say.
- Henry Hill: Alright, what?
- Tommy DeVito: Okay, what? She don't want to go out with Italians alone. She's prejudiced against Italians. Do you believe that? In this day and age? What the fuck is the world coming to? I can't believe this, prejudiced against Ital - a Jew broad - prejudiced against Italians. Anyway, she won't go out with me alone unless her girlfriend comes with her, so I figured you could come along and go out with her girlfriend.
- Henry Hill: See? I knew it - I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.
- Tommy DeVito: You knew what, Henry? See? What? What the fuck is wrong with that?
- Henry Hill: When is this?
- Tommy DeVito: Tomorrow night.
- Henry Hill: I can't tomorrow night, I gotta meet Tuddy.
- Tommy DeVito: You could meet Tuddy. You could fucking come early and then still go.
- Henry Hill: Tommy, Tommy. Why do you always do this to me?
- Tommy DeVito: Don't give me that fucking "Tommy" shit. What the fuck I asked you for, Henry? I asked you for a favor. I do a lot of fucking favors for you, don't I? I'm trying to bang this fucking broad, you wanna help me out!
- [view switches to outside of car with view of restaurant, smoke billows from restaurant windows]
- Tommy DeVito: It's like... uh... ah...
- Henry Hill: What?
- Tommy DeVito: I don't understand you! She's fucking beautiful. Her fucking family, they live in the Five Towns there. You know these Jew broads got a lot of money. Maybe the family owns the whole fucking block. and you happen to end up with a big fucking score, motherfucker.
- Henry Hill: [turning to look at the restaurant] Oh fuck!
- Tommy DeVito: What?
- Henry Hill: See? With your fucking mouth!
- [car speeds away]
- Henry Hill: [narrating] All they got from Paulie was protection from other guys looking to rip them off. That's what it's all about. That's what the FBI can never understand - that what Paulie and the organization offer is protection for the kinds of guys who can't go to the cops. They're like the police department for wiseguys.
- Henry Hill: [narrating] Whenever we needed money, we'd rob the airport. To us, it was better than Citibank.
- Henry Hill: [narrating; Paul is slicing the garlic with a razor] In prison, dinner was always a big thing. We had a pasta course and then we had a meat or fish. Paulie did the prep work. He was doing a year for contempt, and he had this wonderful system for doing the garlic. He used a razor, and he used to slice it so thin that he used to liquefy in the pan with just a little oil. It was a very good system.
- Henry Hill: [narrating] It was revenge for Billy Batts, and a lot of other things. And there was nothing that we could do about it. Batts was a made man, and Tommy wasn't. And we had to sit still and take it. It was among the Italians. It was real greaseball shit. They even shot Tommy in the face so his mother couldn't give him an open coffin at the funeral.
- Tommy DeVito: [Tommy mocks at Spider] Oklahoma Kid. That's me. I'm the Oklahoma Kid. You fuckin' varmint! Dance. Dance. YAHOO, YA MOTHERFUCKER!
- [shoots Spider in the foot]
- Henry Hill: [narrating] When they found Carbone in the meat truck, he was frozen so stiff it took them three days to thaw him out for the autopsy.
- Henry Hill: [narrating] Jimmy had never asked me to do a hit before, and now he's asking me to go down to Florida with Anthony to make a hit.
- [Jimmy gives him a pack of matches with a number]
- Henry Hill: [narrating] That's when I knew I would never have come back from Florida alive.
- Paul Cicero: I don't want any more of that shit.
- Henry Hill: What shit? What are you talking about?
- Paul Cicero: Just stay away from the garbage, you know what I mean.
- Henry Hill: Look, Paulie...
- Paul Cicero: I'm not talking about what you did inside, you did what you had to do, I'm talking about now, from now, here and now.
- Henry Hill: Paulie, why would I want to get into that...
- Paul Cicero: Don't make a jerk out of me, just don't do it... just don't do it. Now I want to talk to you about Jimmy, you have to watch out for him. He's a good earner but he's wild, takes too many chances.
- Henry Hill: Yeah, I know that, I know Jimmy, you think I would take chances like Jimmy?
- Paul Cicero: And Tommy, he's a good kid too. But he's crazy, he's a cowboy, he's got too much to prove. You gotta watch out for kids like this.
- Henry Hill: Yeah, I know what they are, I only use them for certain things, believe me, you don't have to worry.
- Paul Cicero: Listen, I ain't gonna get fucked like Gribbs, understand? Gribbs is 70 years old, and the fuckin' guy's gonna die in prison. I don't need that. So I'm warning everybody, EVERYBODY. It could be my son, it could be anybody. Gribbs got 20 years just for saying "hello" to some fuck who was sneaking behind his back selling junk. I don't need that. Ain't gonna happen to me, you understand?
- Henry Hill: Uh huh.
- Paul Cicero: You know that you're only out early because I got you a job. I don't need this heat, understand that.
- Henry Hill: Uh huh.
- Paul Cicero: And you see anybody fucking around with this shit, you're going to tell me, right?
- Henry Hill: Yeah.
- Paul Cicero: [slaps him] That means anybody!
- Henry Hill: All right.
- Paul Cicero: Yeah?
- Henry Hill: Yeah, of course.
- Jimmy Conway: Yeah.
- Vinnie: Yeah.
- Jimmy Conway: Who's this?
- Vinnie: This is Vinnie.
- Jimmy Conway: Vinnie, what happened?
- Vinnie: Well we-...
- Jimmy Conway: You get it straightened out?
- Vinnie: No, we had a problem... and uh, we tried to do everything we could.
- Jimmy Conway: What d'you mean?
- Vinnie: Well, you know what I mean. He's gone, and we couldn't do nothing about it.
- [pause]
- Vinnie: That's it.
- Jimmy Conway: What d'you mean? What d'you mean? Uh...
- Vinnie: He's gone. Uh, he's gone.
- [pause]
- Vinnie: And that's it.
- Jimmy Conway: [smashing telephone] Fuck. Can't fuckin' believe that, can't fuckin'...
- Jimmy Conway: [crying] Fuck it, fuck... the fuck...
- [Henry exits diner]
- Henry Hill: What happened?
- Jimmy Conway: They whacked him. They fuckin' whacked him.
- Henry Hill: Aw, fuck.
- [Jimmy kicks phone booth]
- Jimmy Conway: Motherfucker!
- [pushes over phone booth]
- Jimmy Conway: [cries]
- Janice Rossi: [Karen buzzing over and over on her husband's girlfriend's intercom] Hello. Hello?
- Karen: Hello? This is Karen Hill, I want to talk to you.
- [pressing the 2R button, she hangs up]
- Karen: Hello? Don't hang up on me! I want to talk to you! You keep away from my husband, you hear me? Hello? Open the door!
- [keeps hitting the buttons]
- Karen: ANSWER ME!
- [she keeps pressing the 2R button]
- Karen: I'm going to tell everybody who walks in this building that in 2R, Rossi, you're nothing but a whore!
- [gets on phone]
- Karen: Is this the superintendent?... Yes, I want you to know, sir! That you have a whore living in 2R!
- Janice Rossi: Shit.
- Karen: [hits the 2R button] Rossi! Janice Rossi, do you hear me? He's MY husband! Get your own goddamn man!
- Tommy DeVito: He said, "No, you're gonna tell me something today, tough guy." I said, "All right, I'll tell you something: go fuck your mother."
- Jimmy Conway: [Frenchy is describing a large shipment of cash at Idlewild Airport to Jimmy and Henry] What about the security?
- Frenchy: Security? You're looking at it.
- Henry Hill: [narrating] And when the cops, when they assigned a whole army to stop Jimmy, what'd he do? He made 'em partners.
- Billy Batts: Hey Jimmy! What's right is right. You understand what I'm talking about?
- Jimmy Conway: It's all right. It's all right.
- Billy Batts: No. The kid's over here. We're hugging and kissing over here. And two minutes later, he's acting like a fucking jerk.
- Jimmy Conway: No, no, no, no, no. You insulted him a little bit. You got a little bit out of order yourself.
- Billy Batts: No I didn't insult him. I didn't insult him.
- Jimmy Conway: I'm sorry. You insulted him a little bit.
- Billy Batts: No, I didn't insult nobody. Give us a drink. Give us a drink.
- Sonny Bunz: But I'm worried, I mean, I'm hearin' all kinds a fuckin' bad things. I mean he's treating me like I'm a fuckin' half-a-fag or somethin'. I'm gonna wind up a lammist, I gotta go on the fuckin' lam in order to get away from this guy? This ain't right, Paulie.
- Karen: [narrating] After awhile, it got to be all normal. None of it seemed like crime. It was more like Henry was enterprising, and that he and the guys were making a few bucks hustling, while all the other guys were sitting on their asses, waiting for handouts. Our husbands weren't brain surgeons, they were blue-collar guys. The only way they could make extra money, real extra money, was to go out and cut a few corners.
- [Cuts to Henry and Tommy hijacking a truck]
- Billy Batts: Give us a drink. And give some to those Irish hoodlums down there.
- Jimmy Conway: There's only one Irishman in here.
- Billy Batts: On the house. Salud.
- Jimmy Conway: Top of the mornin'.
- Tommy DeVito: What the fuck you looking at? Come on. Make that coffee to go. Let's go.
- [Frankie mumbles something and goes to the door with the coffee pot in his hand]
- Tommy DeVito: What the fuck are you doing? It's a joke! A joke! Put the fucking pot down!
- Tommy DeVito: Just don't go busting my balls, Billy, okay?
- Billy Batts: Hey, Tommy, if I was gonna break your balls, I'd tell you to go home and get your shine box.
- [to his friends]
- Billy Batts: Now this kid, this kid was great. They, they used to call him Spitshine Tommy.