Bejewelled (1991 TV Movie)

John Bird: Eustace

Quotes 

• Eustace : [rummaging through the nearly-empty fridge]  There's a plague on this house.

• Beatrice : What's the matter now?

  Eustace : Just my old war wound acting up again.

  Beatrice : What war are we talking about? The Crimean? The Polyponesian?

  Eustace : My "war wound"! You know perfectly well what happened! The sofa collapsed while I was watching "Bridge on the River Kwai."