- Amar Manohar: Where did you buy that cap from? France?
- Prem: Oh, no. Its from Switzerland. I go there very often. I like the sunsets there.
- Amar Manohar: Ah! The cap's very nice too. It looks good on you.
- [Amar thinking - "He looks like an ape with a watermelon on his head."]
- Prem: Where did you get this red jacket from? Is it a "Chaudhary & Sons" product?
- Amar Manohar: No.
- Prem: It must be from America then.
- Amar Manohar: No. I purchased it from New York.
- Prem: Oh, New York. I thought you purchased it from America.
- [Prem thinking - "He looks like a retired monkey from the circus."]
- Amar Manohar: Heads I win, tails you lose.
- Prem: No, no, no. Make it the other way round.
- Amar Manohar: OK, if that makes you happy, tails you lose, heads i win.
- Teja: [with a picture of his twin] Tan tara ra... guess who's this?
- Bhalla: Very smart... in your younger days, you looked like a very nice man...
- Teja: Hahaha... got fooled didn't you? This is the game... this is not me, he's my brother... Ram Gopal Bajaj... my name isn't Teja either... Shyam Gopal Bajaj... me Shyam, him Ram... my old man loved him a lot... everyone thought I was the villain and he was the hero... and then 1 day old man transferred his property to him... that day itself I swore to myself that I will also kill my dad... throw his cards down... but unfortunately in the night's darkness our treasurer Harishankar got killed... but it was good that he died... he used to talk to about good deeds and godliness a lot... he bored me!
- Amar Manohar: [to Gogo] You are great... You are any man's best mate... You are very kind... You have the world's greatest mind... The whole world is your fan... I feel that you are definitely not a man!
- Crime Master Gogo: What?
- Amar Manohar: A... ba... ba... ba... you're superman! superman!
- Amar Manohar: From where have you bought this jacket? Is it from America?
- Prem: No, no, no, I bought it from New York.
- Amar Manohar: OK, I thought you bought it from America.
- Prem: What's the difference? You aren't Karishma, so you can be Jameela, Shakila, Sunita, Anita, Papita!
- Crime Master Gogo: Yaaayyyyy Crime Master Gogo... Nephew of the great Mogambo... Playing with eye balls ever since I was a child!
- Inn manager: Listen carefully... Don't make a noise, there's a graveyard close by... I don't want complaints coming in from there. Water comes in between 2-3 in the morning, make sure you take a bath! And no matter what DON'T SWITCH THE LIGHTS ON!
- Amar Manohar: But if I don't switch the lights on, it'll be so troublesome... I mean how will I change my clothes, eh?
- Inn manager: you DON'T switch the lights on... and why do you need the lights for changing clothes? Is something there that needs to be seen or shown out here or what?
- Amar Manohar: Finally the camel has come under the mountain! All of you beware! I am that ferocious tiger who would eat you all alive and not even burp once! Yeah!
- Bankeylal Bhopali: You again? Fooling my innocent son... taking his advantage... Son, lets go back home. He can't make you a superstar...
- Johnny: I will also make you a superstar in my film, UNCLE!
- Bankeylal Bhopali: UNCLE? I know you from a very long time... you are a very old sinner! As it is you fooled my father... pretending to be a little child out here, eh?
- Ram Gopal Bajaj: Shut up! Ever since I have come here all I've got to hear is Amar-Prem, Amar-Prem... nobody over here cares about me... *cries*
- Robert: Sir... everybody went to London... you didn't go along?
- Teja: How could I? *cries* Police was looking for me after I murdered Munim Harishankar... on the other hand, I had taken a loan from Mogambo so his nephew Gogo was looking for me as well... You think I don't want to go to London? you think I don't have desires to see what London looks like?
- Amar Manohar: Mr. Gogo! I've been hearing stories about your heroism since childhood! Prem, remember what my mom used to tell me when I refused to go to sleep?
- Crime Master Gogo: What was that your mom used to tell you?
- Amar Manohar: She used to say, "Son Amar Son Amar... Go to sleep! ELSE..."
- Crime Master Gogo: ...else?
- Amar Manohar: e... else The great Gogo will come!"
- Prem: Gogo... take a last look at the diamonds
- Teja: What are you showing him? Bring the diamonds or I'll plunge the knives into their necks...
- Crime Master Gogo: [tries to take one of the diamonds]
- Prem: Sorry Gogo, they belong to Teja
- Crime Master Gogo: At least let me take one... I had given a loan to Teja! It rightfully belongs to me!
- Bhalla: I have put a bomb in this bouquet of flowers which will explode exactly in 3 minutes! Go and put it in inside the hall
- Robert: But sir if I put it... wouldn't the police think that I killed Raveena?
- Bhalla: Relax Robert... I have put a card inside the bouquet which has TILLU'S name written on it... Ha Ha Ha!
- Robert: To kill Raveena... I have prepared this drink which is called "The Heavenly Drink" drinking which a person is instantly deported to Heaven
- Teja: [Showing Shehzad Khan and Viju Khote his poster as Ram Gopal Bajaj] Look up, recognize who I am !
- Bhalla: Very smart. It seems you were quite sophisticated in your youth.
- Teja: [laughing] Got deceived, didn't you. He's my twin brother. Ram Gopal Bajaj. I wasn't always Teja, I happen to be Shyam Gopal Bajaj. Ram-Shyam, Shyam-Ram.
- Bhalla: How very interesting.
- Teja: He happened to the apple of my old man's eyes. Don't know what medication had this scum fed him. Everybody thought of him as Lord Ram and me as the demon Ravan. From that very moment I pledged I'll get rid of my father as well.
- [laughing in between]
- Teja: By mistake I got rid of our accountant Hari Shankar instead. But actually it was a good thing to do, that fellow used to lecture too much on integrity
- [starts laughing maniacally]
- Teja: . For that reason, I served 10 years
- [in a raging tone to the poster]
- Teja: I was in jail for 10 years. And when I came out I saw the tables had turned. This scum had gone over to London and raised his worth from 10 million to 300 million.
- Robert: So Sir, why didn't you go after him to London as well ?
- Teja: [In a disappointed tone] How could I go to London ? Ever since I escaped prison, the cops are after me. That Mogambo had loaned me cash, his nephew wants repayment. What do you think I don't desire to see London !
- Bhalla: How sad.
- Teja: [In sudden delight] But from now on, our bad days are up in smoke.
- [Referring to Raveena Tandon]
- Teja: It's his girl after all.
- [laughing]
- Bhalla: [Delighted] Just one kill and a profit worth millions ! Mr. Teja, you leave this to me. I'll give get rid of him in a manner he wouldn't even realize he's dead.
- Teja: [Skeptical due to previous experience with Shehzad Khan] But you'll be able be kill him ONLY when he returns back to India. But WHEN will he return is the question.
- Robert: He will Sir. His daughters are here already, he'll follow them soon definitely.
- Teja: [Hysteric] That's GREAT
- [hits Viju Khote's shoulder with the poster multiple times in excitement]
- Teja: . That's GREAT.
- [In a sudden serious tone]
- Teja: Kill his daughter.
- Teja: [after the failure of the first plot to kill Raveena Tandon] So you gentlemen want to say that because of those 2 slackers
- [referring to Aamir Khan and Salman Khan]
- Teja: you couldn't achieve your objective. It's nice.
- [In a sudden monotonous tone thumping his chest]
- Teja: My heartbeat has gone cold. If it continues this way, I think our cards would be set on the table.
- Robert: Sorry Sir. It was a mistake by fault. Those 2 slackers are smarter than we think.
- [Referring to Aamir Khan]
- Robert: Particularly that short one... .
- Bhalla: [Interrupting Viju Khote] Shut up Robert. Mr. Teja, you needn't worry about anything. Does the snorting of a rat ever bother a lion's slumber. According to my new plan... .
- Teja: [Outraged and getting off the table shouting] PLAN ! Damn your plan.
- [Standing at the window in background narration]
- Teja: What kind of men have you got at your disposal Teja. They talk as if they are leopards and cheetahs but their brain is as functional as a donkey.
- [Turning to Shehzad Khan and Viju Khote in anger]
- Teja: This time I don't want any errors. Come back only if with the news of her death or I would be required to set your cards in place.
- Bhalla: If you insist, should I bring the dead body alongside. Or should I bring her alive and kill her right in front of you.
- Teja: [Sarcastically] Very smart.
- Teja: [after the second failed attempt to kill Raveena Tandon] I knew from the very beginning that such an incident would definitely occur. It's nice.
- [Thumping his chest in a sudden deadpan tone]
- Teja: Seems my heartbeat has gone cold.
- Robert: Sorry Sir. It was a mistake by fault. Almost everything was going according to plan before those 2 slackers
- [Referring to Aamir Khan and Salman Khan]
- Robert: ...... .
- Bhalla: [Interrupting Viju Khote] Shut up Robert. Mr. Teja, you needn't worry about anything. Once in the lion's den, how long can the prey survive. According to my plan... .
- Teja: [Getting off the table in tears with background narration] What kind of men have you employed Teja ? Damn they wear suits worth over 10000 rupees but have a brain which doesn't even function upto 10 cents. Now is the time, you better start getting back on your feet or else your game will be set.
- [Wiping his tears off and turning to Viju Khote and Shehzad Khan]
- Teja: It's not worth your attempts, seems I'll have to set your cards in place first.
- Bhalla: [With his new scheme] Like every year, there's a fun fair set to be conducted behind the hill. These 2 girls shall visit it definitely. This is where they shall be eliminated.
- Teja: [In a sarcastic tone out of irritation] It's good, it's fine. But this time I'll accompany you both to the fair. I'll have to oversee the entire process. But what's to be done with the 2 slackers ?
- Bhalla: They too are destined to die by my bare hands. As per the plan... ..
- [Paresh Rawal bangs his head with his hands in frustration]
- Teja: [to the imprisoned Paresh Rawal as Ram Gopal Bajaj] So, you've converted all your earnings to diamonds.
- Ram Gopal Bajaj: How the hell did you find out ?
- Teja: [In delightful glee] How the hell did I find out
- [turns to Viju Khote and Shehzad Khan who laugh in exaggerated manner]
- Ram Gopal Bajaj: Even if you are gonna kill me, I am not giving you those diamonds.
- Teja: [Sarcastically] Who's coming to ask you anyway if I kill you, what say
- [again turns to Viju Khote and Shehzad Khan who laugh in exaggerated manner]
- Teja: . Listen up Ramu, be a smartass and give me the details of those diamonds. It's just because we have ties of blood that I've kept you alive else I'd have got rid of you long ago. Your daughter's on her way with the ransom here. The moment 5 million lands in my hands, police will back out instantly. And then, I'll live royally as Ram Gopal Bajaj for the rest of my life. From there on, neither is the safe away, nor is the key, neither is the code, nor are the diamonds. Right
- [turns to Viju Khote and Shehzad Khan who laugh in exaggerated manner]
- Teja: .
- Prem: [to Raveena Tandon and Karishma Kapoor after Paresh Rawal as Teja returns home] You guys too listen up one thing straight, if you're coming with us, you'll have to forget Uncle and his wealth alright.
- Karisma: [Replying to Salman Khan] We accept that wholeheartedly Prem, problem is Papa isn't the same as he used to be. He's been behaving bizarre.
- Raveena: Can you imagine Uncle's been using abusive language extensively.
- Amar Manohar: [Taking it casually] Common it happens, he was in between thugs and crooks for this while. Forget about him, he ain't gonna bring himself back.
- Prem: [laughing] You mean Hitler's a total wreck !
- Amar Manohar: Yeap he's a wreck
- [laughs]
- Amar Manohar: .
- Raveena: You think this is some joke ? Uncle's been upto things he despised even the slightest.
- Karisma: Exactly, he hated the very thought of alcohol and yesterday he consumed an entire bottle in a sip.
- Raveena: Worse, he ripped apart the entire house as if some cops are searching for clues.
- Karisma: Yeah, the entire house is in a mess right now.
- Amar Manohar: [Suspicious] The entire house ?
- Prem: [Echoing Aamir Khan's doubts] In a mess ?
- Teja: [Entering Ram Gopal Bajaj's cell in an angry tone] Hey, why the hell have you called me all of a sudden ?
- Ram Gopal Bajaj: So was I supposed to talk about the diamonds to your clowns.
- Teja: What ?
- Ram Gopal Bajaj: I've decided to hand them over to you.
- Teja: [Shocked with joy] Me, the inheritor of 300 million bucks ! Now I'll live the life of dignity bro. I'll fulfill the dream I've nurtured since childhood, opening a poultry farm. I'll bring thousands of chickens which'd lay hundreds of thousands of eggs,
- [shifting to a deadpan tone]
- Teja: and millions of their omelettes. I'll feed them with bread too, for that I'll open a bakery too. The monarch of bread, the king of omelette, BAJAJ,
- [singing]
- Teja: Our very own BAJAJ
- [Gets hit on the head by Ram Gopal Bajaj and collapses]
- Teja: .
- Ram Gopal Bajaj: You'll make omelettes of my life's hard earnings, nonsense. Scoundrel, you'll open a bakery ?
- [Switches Teja's blazer]
- Ram Gopal Bajaj: Bloody you're not even worth a paav.
- [Escapes from the cell]
- Amar Manohar: [Talking to himself in the mirror] Ohh it's you. I gotta admit you're great. I always knew there was something about you but so much ! Amar salutes you.
- Murli Manohar: [Quietly observing and asking in a deadpan tone] What the hell is going on here ?
- Amar Manohar: [Mistaking Deven Verma to be one of his assistants] OUT. Didn't I tell you I shouldn't be disturbed.
- Murli Manohar: [In a furious tone] You idiot !
- Amar Manohar: [Suddenly turning to Deven Verma] Father, it's you ! I was awaiting your very arrival. Father, you're a genius, you're a saint, you're all mighty and powerful. In fact, today I've realised you're not even a man.
- Murli Manohar: [Irked] What ?
- Amar Manohar: Coz you're a superman.
- Murli Manohar: [In a delighted voice] Ohh Lord, you've finally listened to my plea.
- Amar Manohar: He fulfilled it 26 years ago. I want to touch your feet.
- Murli Manohar: But son, what exactly did you find in a person like me ?
- Amar Manohar: That's where your humility lies Father that you yourself are oblivious of the reason of your greatness. You're great coz you're none other than Amar's father. Today, I know you. Tomorrow, every kid across every neighborhood would say upon seeing you, look there goes Amar's Father.
- Murli Manohar: [In a sarcastic, depressed tone] Even the cops would say, look there goes Amar's Father.
- Amar Manohar: Father, why's it you get disappointed whenever I get delighted ?
- Murli Manohar: [In a continued depressed tone] What should I do if not be disappointed ? Whenever you've become happy, I've run into ruin. You recall, the first time you got happy when I gifted you a cycle. You rode that cycle on your grandfather's feet and till his demise, people called him Langde Babu. The other time you got happy when I gifted you with a rocket on Diwali, you launched that rocket onto Guptaji's shop, even till date I am repaying for the damages cutting people's hair. The other time you got happy when the lace of your maternal Aunt's dress got struck...
- Amar Manohar: [Interrupting Deven Verma] Father, forget about the past. Now I am gonna do for which I've taken birth.
- Murli Manohar: [Extremely worried] What the hell are you gonna do ?
- Amar Manohar: Father, imagine, what if in place this 50 cent worth smoke, you had a 50 rupees worth cigar
- [a cigar appears in Deven Verma's hand]
- Amar Manohar: , in place of this cap, you had a hat
- [a hat appears on Deven Verma's head]
- Amar Manohar: , an awesome business suit
- [Deven Verma gets covered in a 3 piece suit]
- Amar Manohar: and imported boots
- [scene shifts to Aamir Khan and Deven Verma dancing imagining they are wealthy]
- Amar Manohar: . So Daddy, how do you feel ?
- Murli Manohar: It's great, fine. But where would we get this, How ?
- Amar Manohar: Wow. Daddy, I am soon marrying a wealthy heiress. And we'll be millionaires. I'll open several such beauty saloons just for you.
- Murli Manohar: Really ? So why don't you get married as quickly as possible ?
- Amar Manohar: Daddy, for that you'll have to sell off this rubbish saloon of yours.
- Murli Manohar: Aha.
- Amar Manohar: And give me only 25000 bucks.
- Murli Manohar: [Furiously returning to reality] 25000 ? I ain't giving you a penny. Get the hell out of my sight.
- [Throws Aamir Khan out of his store]
- Prem: [after reading the hysteria over Raveena Tandon's news of her search for a groom] Am I dead or what, if she's in India, she's just for ME !
- Johnny: That's the spirit my boy. Now we should get to work. Go out there and trap her,
- [in a slip of tongue]
- Johnny: just like I've trapped you.
- Prem: [Reacting shockingly in a humorous manner] What ?
- Johnny: [Quickly correcting himself] I meant to say MADE YOU, I've made a hero out of you. Once we have this lady with us, our Waah Waah Productions will go international. And soon we'll be into making english movies.
- Prem: [Over excited] Walks english, talks english, looks english.
- Johnny: Finish, now's the right time.
- Prem: [In a worrisome tone] Won't this cost a bit too much money ?
- Johnny: Don't worry. That can be arranged for. Your Dad's house, his shop, sell both of it.
- Prem: [Pricked] What ?
- Johnny: Let me complete. Take the half with yourself. And give the other half to me. Go on your way and woo her. And back here, I'll script the story, design the sets, frame the camera. Don't waste time,
- [as Salman Khan starts leaving in a state of fantasy]
- Johnny: go accomplish your dream,
- [in a greedy but humorous tone]
- Johnny: become a superstar, dooper star !
- Prem: Amar... lets go back home.
- Amar Manohar: W... Why? Are you scared?
- Prem: No... n... not scared... I just need to pee!
- Prem: I can see my destiny shining in front of me.
- Bankeylal Bhopali: In front there is a police station and a graveyard. Tell me what's your destiny?