Cannibal! The Musical (1993)
Jon Hegel: Isreal Swan
Photos
Quotes
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George Noon : [interrupting the trappers' gruesome song about the joys of killing animals] Oh, stop!
James Humphrey : That's sick!
Frenchy Cabazon : I agree! Nutter was singing in the wrong key!
Preston Nutter : No I wasn't! It was Loutzenheiser! I was singing in E-flat minor.
Frenchy Cabazon : The song's in F-sharp major!
Shannon Bell : I think they're the same thing. I mean, E flat is the relative major of F sharp.
Frenchy Cabazon : No it isn't! The relative minor is three half-tones DOWN from the major, not up!
George Noon : No, it's three down. Like A is the relative minor of C major.
O.D. Loutzenheiser : But isn't A-sharp in C major?
Shannon Bell : Wait, are you singing mixolydian scales or something?
Frenchy Cabazon : A-sharp is tonic to C major! It's the sixth!
James Humphrey : No, it isn't!
Israel Swan : Well, it would be like a raised 13th if anything.
Frenchy Cabazon : Oh well, you guys are just a bunch of loser diggers anyhow!
James Humphrey : Oh, see, you know we're right!
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Israel Swan : If you don't find a nice girl in Colorado, just remember, there's plenty of mountain sheep.
George Noon : How big of mountain sheep?
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[singing]
Israel Swan : Sometimes, the world is black./And tears run from your eyes./Maybe we'll all get really sick./And maybe we'll all die... /Sooooooooooooo, let's build a snowman/We can make him our best friend./We can name him Tom or we can name him George!/We can make him tall, or we can make him not so tall./Snowman!/He'll have a happy face, a happy smile, a happy point of view./If you build me a snowman, then I'll build one for you./So, let's build a snowman!/We can make him our best friend./We can name him Bob or we can name him Beowulf!/We can make him tall, or we can make him not so tall./Snowman!/Hey!
[Starts to tap dance]
Israel Swan : He'll have a happy face, a happy smile, a happy point of view./If you build me a snowman, then I'll build one for you./Snowman! Snowman! Snowman!
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Frenchy Cabazon : Say, you gents wanna trade some furs for the trip?
[takes some dead animals out of a sack]
Frenchy Cabazon : We got rabbits and beavers.
Israel Swan : Oh, how horrible!
James Humphrey : Where'd you guys get all those little dead animals?
O.D. Loutzenheiser : We're trappers, stupid!
Alferd Packer : Poor little bunny rabbits.
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Shannon Bell : Howdy!
General Store Clerk : Howdy!
George Noon : Howdy!
General Store Clerk : Howdy!
Israel Swan : Howdy-do!
General Store Clerk : Howdy!
Frank Miller : Howdy!
General Store Clerk : Howdy!
James Humphrey : Howdy!
General Store Clerk : Howdy!
Alferd Packer : Howdy-do!
General Store Clerk : Howdy!
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Israel Swan : I know what we should do: Let's build a snowman, we can make him our best friend!
Frank Miller : Shut the fuck up, Swan!
Israel Swan : [continues singing] We can name him Shannon! Shannon Wilson Bell! We can make him tall, we can make him not so tall...
Frank Miller : SWAN! SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Shannon Bell : [shoots Swan in the head, thus ending the musical number]