Mr. Magoo (1997)
Matt Keeslar: Waldo
Photos
Quotes
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Waldo : [after Magoo eats a plastic bunch of grapes] Unc!
Mr. Magoo : Why is it that someone always seems to burn the rumaki?
Waldo : Maybe you should see another eye doctor.
Mr. Magoo : Waldo, Hiram has been my optometrist since I was a small boy in knee pants.
Waldo : He's like 2,000 years old! All his other patients are dead.
Mr. Magoo : Well, you can't blame that against him!
Waldo : But he's still making appointments with them. Trust me, you need a second opinion.
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[Waldo has installed a magnifying glass windshield on Magoo's car]
Waldo : Well, if you can't bring Mohammed to the mountain...
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[after nearly missing Luanne, Magoo and Waldo find her plane ticket receipt]
Waldo : This receipt is for Brazil. Why would she go to Brazil?
Mr. Magoo : She's going to Peru.
Waldo : She'd go to Brazil to go to Peru?
Mr. Magoo : Exactly.
Waldo : But why?
Mr. Magoo : To get more for the ruby!
Waldo : Peru?
Mr. Magoo : Exactly.
Waldo : But then why go to Brazil?
Mr. Magoo : Peru is in Brazil.
Waldo : Peru is in Brazil?
Mr. Magoo : Ortega Peru is in Brazil.
Waldo : Ortega Peru! Of course.
Mr. Magoo : And that's why we're going to Brazil.
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[Luanne is holding Magoo at gunpoint for the Star of Kuristan]
Waldo : Unc, watch out! She's got a gun.
Mr. Magoo : Of course she has, Waldo! She's a federal agent.
Waldo : She's not what you think!
Mr. Magoo : Now, Waldo, you're talking about the woman who saved my life.
Luanne : Yeah, well, nobody's perfect.
Mr. Magoo : Oh, you can't tell me that yesterday meant nothing to you.
[singing]
Mr. Magoo : I am a Viking! A lusty, trusty Viking!
Luanne : Yesterday sucked. And you kissed a carp.
Mr. Magoo : [shocked] Prunella.
Luanne : Give me the jewel!
Mr. Magoo : [holding out the Star of Kuristan] This is all you ever wanted?
Luanne : [as she gazes lustfully at the ruby, Magoo hands it over to her] You're a true gentleman, and there aren't many of those left. Too bad you had to go and get in my way.