RocketMan (1997)
Harland Williams: Fred Z. Randall
Photos
Quotes
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William Overbeck : How'd you like to be the first guy to die on Mars.
Fred Randall : Well sorry Mr. First to Show Inappropriate Anger on Mars.
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Fred Randall : I'm 30 years old. I'm almost a grown man.
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Fred Randall : Hey, Commander, were you ever afraid of monsters under your bed? When I was little I used to think there was a baker under my bed.
William Overbeck : No.
Fred Randall : You ever look?
William Overbeck : No.
Fred Randall : Then how do you know there wasn't a baker under your bed?
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Fred Randall : We're the first to stand on Mars!
William Overbeck : Yeah. Now you're the biggest idiot on two planets.
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Fred Randall : It wasn't me!
William Overbeck : What do you mean "It wasn't you"? We're 35 million miles from the nearest person!
Fred Randall : Maybe it was Julie.
William Overbeck : You dog!
Fred Randall : Hey! Miracles can happen.
William Overbeck : Blaming this on Julie!
Fred Randall : Okay. I admit. It was me.
William Overbeck : Thank you.
[Fred farts again]
Fred Randall : Now, THAT was Julie!
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William Overbeck : Have fun, kid.
Fred Randall : Fun is my Chinese neighbor's middle name!
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Julie Ford : I guess I'll see you in eight months.
Fred Randall : Boy. I wish I had nine hundred twenty-eight dollars for every time a girl said that to me!
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[Randall is laying on the floor with socks on his hands when the technicians come to get him out]
Fred Randall : Can you leave me alone for just five more minutes? I just got into the third act.
[with an English voice and moving sock puppet]
Fred Randall : Yes! Close the door! It's bloody chilly in here!
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Fred Randall : It reminds me of a French Canadian tennis racket, stuck to the back of a Venus snow-goon, bubbling out of my sister's Brazilian donkey - I don't think I can make myself any clearer!
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Fred Randall : Sweet swirling onion rings!
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[Repeated line]
Fred Randall : It wasn't me!
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Fred Randall : I feel like a paleontologist that's been hunting dinosaurs his whole life and finally got to meet one!
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Fred Randall : I'll enter the same calculations using what we like to call The Right Way.
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Fred Randall : Mr. Wick, can I call you Paul?
Paul Wick : No.
Fred Randall : Are we there yet?
Paul Wick : No.
Fred Randall : Can I drive?
Paul Wick : No.
Fred Randall : Can I park it?
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William Overbeck : Well it's a very special drink. It's just for us astronauts.
Fred Randall : Oh! Like Tang?
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Fred Randall : They say that when a mother's child is trapped the rush of her adrenaline gives her the strength of 20 men. Alright Commander call me Mommy!
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[Fred is typing on the computer to find out how long he's been asleep]
Fred Randall : [while typing] Query: How long have I been asleep?
[the screen reads "RESPONSE: THIRTEEN MINUTES"]
Fred Randall : Thirteen minutes?
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Bud Nesbitt : Look, it was an accident.
Fred Randall : Oh, sure, sure it was. Just like the captain of the Exxon Valdez didn't see Alaska floating there right in front of him!
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Fred Randall : [to the Chimp] Alright, I'm going out. If you light the place on fire the number's 9-1-1, thank you.
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Fred Randall : Commander, can I call you Bill?
William Overbeck : No.
Fred Randall : Are we there yet?
William Overbeck : No.
Fred Randall : Can I drive?
William Overbeck : No!
Fred Randall : I'm hungry!
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Fred Randall : Hey! There's no airbag. What if I go flying through the windshield?
William Overbeck : Randall, there is no windshield.
Fred Randall : Oh. Well, what if I go flying through the front of my helmet?
William Overbeck : I'd die happy.
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Fred Randall : It's a tale as old as time Ulysses. Boy meets girl, boy falls for girl. Girl goes into hypersleep.
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Fred Randall : JOHN JACOB JINGLEHEIMER SCHMIDT! His name is my name too!
[whispering]
Fred Randall : whenever we go out, the people always shout,
[screaming again]
Fred Randall : JOHN JACOB JINGLEHEIMER SCHMIDT!
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Fred Randall : Je suis le papillon sur la table avec le Chanel No. 5 regardons.
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Fred Randall : How many times have I told you not to go wandering in a martian dust storm?
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Fred Randall : What? You ignore me the whole trip, and now that I have no air you want to chat?
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Fred Randall : You're alive Little Billy!
William Overbeck : Don't you ever call me little Billy!
Fred Randall : That's no way to talk to your mother!
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Fred Randall : No eating puzzles in the house and surely we don't jump on the beds!
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Fred Randall : A glitch? No, that's not possible. I programmed it myself.
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Fred Randall : I have to go tinkle!
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Bud Nesbitt : How about just saying, "Thanks for the cool coin, Bud. It really means a lot to me."
Fred Randall : Oh, yeah. Thanks for the cool coin, Bud. It really- what was the rest?
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Fred Randall : Mom, going to Mars shouldn't be referred to running away.
Mrs. Randall : Last time you ran away it was only to the garage.