Still Crazy (1998)
Billy Connolly: Hughie
Photos
Quotes
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Hughie : [last lines, voice over] I was wrong about God. Turns out he likes that 70's stuff after all. So it didn't piss down, and they played 4 encores! And with the Almighty in their corner, who knows what might happen? And how will the Fruits conspire to bollocks things up this time around? We wait with bated breath.
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Hughie : [Holding a joint] Would you like a hit?
Karen Knowles : I haven't done that in years
[the Band screws up]
Hughie : Now would be a very good time to start.
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Hughie : [v.o] If it's true that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, then drummers are from Pluto.
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Beano : [Playing a game to name bands with parts of the body as part of their name] Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show!
Clare : Objection, your honor!
Hughie : Objection sustained.
Beano : Well, some people 'ave hooks instead of hands.
Les : Yeah, but it's not part of the body; it's not... anotomical.
Beano : It is if you haven't got a fuckin' hand!
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Hughie : History teaches us that men behave wisely once they've exhausted all other alternatives. For most rock bands, the pursuit of wisdom's a low priority compared to fame, fortune and fornication. Such a band was Strange Fruit.
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Young Beano : You know what they say. "If at first you don't succeed... "
Hughie : "Pull your foreskin over your heed."
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Hughie : It's like 'Night of the Living Dead Two'! I'm gonna get some of those Organ Donor cards!
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Hughie : [voiceover] Karen still had ink on her fingers from school when she went to work for the Fruits. Started by sorting their laundry; by Wisbech she was sorting their lives.
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Hughie : Feast your eyes on this magnificent land yacht: tinted windows, air conditioned, twin porto-loos - not to mention an extensive library of pornography courtesy of the Psychedelic Furs world tour of 19 and 88. Step right up, ladies and gentlemen!
Tony Costello : Hey, Hughie, pongs in here a bit. Think one of the Furs is still in here.
Hughie : That's pedigree, Tony
[inhaling deeply]
Hughie : . Smell that Dettol, fag ends, vomit!
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Hughie : Hope this isn't another Sunderland!
[speaking of Ray's mood swings]
Luke Shand : What happened at Sunderland?
Beano : He tried to slash his wrists with my Swiss Army knife.
Les : Yeah, he'd never find the blade.