Topsy-Turvy (1999)
Martin Savage: George Grossmith
Quotes
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[rehearsing a scene]
George Grossmith : [annoyed] "Well, a nice mess you've got us into, with your nodding head, and the deference due to a man of pedigree!"
Gilbert : Mr. Grossmith, you are under sentence of death, "by something lingering, either boiling oil or melted lead." Kindly bear that in mind.
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Wilhelm : Mr. Grossmith, kindly oblige me by removing your hat.
George Grossmith : Why, sir? Are you ready for me?
Wilhelm : Would that I were, sir. And, I'll thank you not to refer to my designs as "vulgar", Mr. Lely.
Durward Lely : Mr. Wilhelm, to my eyes, your designs are not only vulgar, but obscene!
Wilhelm : How DARE you, sir?
Gilbert : Strong words, Lely - what the deuce do you mean?
Durward Lely : Mr. Gilbert, I am a respectably married man and I love my wife dearly. Now, one of the few pleasures that she has enjoyed since the untimely demise of my beloved mother-in-law is to watch me perform upon the stage. But, I am not prepared to allow her to suffer the embarrassment of seeing me flaunted before the public like a half-dressed, performing dog!
Gilbert : You have my sympathies, Lely. Unfortunately, your avocation as an actor compels you, on occasion, to endure the most ignominious indignities, to which Grossmith will doubtless testify.
George Grossmith : Without question, sir.
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Gilbert : You, do?
[referring to the chorus members belief that the Mikado song should not have been cut]
Mr. Price : Yes, sir, we do so.
Female Chorus Member : Yes, especially after all our extremely hard work and of course, Mr. Temple's.
Gilbert : I'm very sorry for you, but as we all know, it's an unjust world.
Male Chorus Member : We all feel it would have been a great benefit to the opera.
Female Chorus Member : And it's fair for it to be left to the audience to decide.
Gilbert : Is this the considered opinion of you all?
Chorus Members : It is, sir.
Mr. Kent : I am not a party to this, Mr. Gilbert.
Gilbert : Ah, Mr. Kent, as ever the sole voice of reason!
Gilbert : [to Temple, who has unexpectedly come upon the meeting of Gilbert and the chorus members] Mr. Temple, what do you make of this occurrence?
Richard Temple : I do beg your pardon Mr. Gilbert, but I have absolutely no idea of what is taking place.
Gilbert : There has been a request that your song be reinstated.
Richard Temple : Ah.
[pause]
Richard Temple : Ah.
Gilbert : A most forceful request, I have to say.
[George Grossmith also comes unexpectedly upon the crowd]
George Grossmith : [to the crowd members] Afternoon, afternoon, please give way.
[seeing Gilbert]
George Grossmith : Ah! Beg pardon, sir.
Gilbert : This is surprising, indeed, ladies and gentlemen, somewhat overwhelming.
Gilbert : [to Temple] Temple, would you be prepared to sing this song at this evening's performance?
Richard Temple : Yes, sir, I would.
Gilbert : [after long hesitation] Then please be so good as to do so.
[Chorus members laugh, cheer and applaud]
Gilbert : Rehearsals will commence in five minutes!
Male Chorus Member : Congratulations, Temple!
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George Grossmith : [of the Japanese fan] I'm sure I've seen this on a vase somewhere.
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George Grossmith : I have a meeting with Carte this afternoon.
George Grossmith : At what hour?
Rutland Barrington : Five o'clock.
George Grossmith : Curious. I am to meet with him at half-past four.
Durward Lely : Strange, I DON'T have a meeting with him at four o'clock.
Rutland Barrington : It is my firm intention to prise open his purse.
George Grossmith : It will take a far stronger man than you, Mr. Barrington, to fulfill that herculean labour.
Rutland Barrington : [chuckles] And what's your mission, Captain Grossmith?
George Grossmith : Oh, there are certain little matters.
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Gilbert : Thus. The traditional Japanese posture adopted by well-meaning, but misguided, underlings upon the departure of their august superiors.
George Grossmith : Would that be a recognised Japanese attitude, sir?
Gilbert : Not as yet, Grossmith, but I have every confidence that it shall become one.
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George Grossmith : The Hottentot in the desert doesn't play cricket. His natural habitation being the jungly-bungly tree, he is as yet hardly able to walk upright, don't you know.
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Gilbert : You have my sympathies, Lely. But unfortunately your avocation as an actor compels you on occasion to endure the most ignominious indignities, as Grossmith will doubtless testify.
George Grossmith : Without question, sir.
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[Seymour, the stage manager, fills in Lely's part during a rehearsal]
Mr. Seymour, Production Manager : [reading from the script, over-acting] Oh, but it's too late! I'm a dead man, and I'm off for my honeymoon.
[Barrington falls about laughing]
George Grossmith : Uncanny, is it not?
Gilbert : Mr. Seymour, please inform Mr. Lely that his services will no longer be required.
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George Grossmith : [In rehearsals as Koko, and pronouncing a word wrongly] Is this a time for airy persiflidge?
Gilbert : *Persiflage*, Grossmith.
George Grossmith : Is it?
Gilbert : It is.
George Grossmith : Is this a time for airy persiflage? Doesn't sound right to me.
Gilbert : Persiflage, mirage, fromage.