- Courtney: Okay, reality check. Liz is in the trunk of this car and she is dead. That is a sad, fucked up thing, but you are going to walk into that school and strut your shit down the hallway like everything is peachy *fucking* keen.
- Julie: Who the fuck are you?
- [slams Courtney roughly into the locker]
- Courtney: What?
- Julie: They found some poor guy and they charge him with murder? What have you done, Courtney? What have you done?
- Courtney: It's just what I had to do, dear.
- Julie: What? Destroy another life, Courtney?
- Courtney: Life's a bitch, then you die.
- Julie: No, honey, you're the bitch!
- Courtney: [leans in tauntingly] Oh, so aggressive, Julie! It kind of turns me on!
- Marcie: I'm sure Fern likes it.
- Courtney: Come on, Marce. This train wreck's getting old.
- Narrator: First, you need to know something about them. The beautiful ones. The flawless four. Everyone wanted to be them. You know them. They went to your school too. They totally ruled. The one in green, that's Courtney. She was the leader. She was like Satan in heels. The blonde, Marcie Fox, a legend in her own little mind. Known to herself as Foxy. The leggy one with the pigtails is Julie, doomed to be popular because of that face and because she was best friends with the one in the pink. That's Liz Purr. She was special. Everybody loved Liz. Not just because she was beautiful and popular and rich and smart. She was all of those things, but more than anything, she was sweet. Courtney ruled with terror, but Liz ruled with kindness. She was like the Princess Di of Reagan High and that pissed Courtney off. Liz Purr was just... well, she was perfect. I used to dream about what it would be like to be her: Elizabeth Purr. It's a shame about what happened to Liz. That was no way to wake up on your 17th birthday.
- Courtney: Wait a minute.
- Julie: What?
- Courtney: Rape. They'll check to see if she was raped, right? Maybe Liz had a friend over, you know. Mommy and Daddy's last night away. Maybe he's from school, maybe not, but definitely into kink. He got a little rough, went a little too far, you know. There's a fine line between pleasure and pain. She screamed for help, but no one could hear her. Her screams were muffled by the huge candy ball. She tried, but there was nothing. Only sugary sweet death.
- Marcie: Oh my God. That like, totally gave me the chills.
- [Julie approaches Fern, now turned into Vylette, who in turn is with Courtney and Marcie]
- Marcie: Do you smell something?
- Julie: Hi, Fern.
- Courtney: I don't know a Fern?
- Marcie: There is no Fern.
- Vylette: It's Vylette.
- Julie: What?
- Vylette: My name's Vylette.
- Courtney: Learn it.
- Marcie: Live it.
- Marcie, Courtney: Love it.
- Courtney: They'll believe it because it's thier worst nightmare: Elizabeth Purr, the very picture of teenage perfection, obliterated by perversion.
- Miss Sherwood: You don't think that Miss Mayo could have...? No. Miss Mayo is as sweet as the days are long.
- Detective Vera Cruz: It's a crazy world, Miss Sherwood. Some of the sweetest candies are sour as death inside.
- Vylette: This is high school, Detective Cruz. What is a friend anyway?
- Detective Vera Cruz: A friend is someone who tells the truth no matter what. A true friend never lies.
- Courtney: [to Julie] Listen, bitch. One word and you're over. I mean that.
- Julie: I'm not scared of you anymore, Courtney.
- Courtney: We saw you. We all know you did it.
- Julie: No one will ever believe you!
- Courtney: Ask Fern, ask Marcie. We saw everything.
- Julie: You fucking liar.
- Courtney: One word and you perish. I promise you that. Toodles!
- Courtney: You knew Liz Purr right?
- Fern: I... I know of her.
- Courtney: Knew of her. Past tense. She's dead, Fern. She died, but we've got a bit of a problem because you know we did it. You heard us. That gives you a little something, Fern, and it's called power. The power to tell, and you're the kind of girl that tells. A tattle-tale.
- Marcie: A rat.
- Miss Sherwood: [to Fern] Do you know a senior named Elizabeth Purr?
- Fern: You mean the meow?
- Miss Sherwood: Excuse me?
- Fern: Liz is the cat's meow.
- Miss Sherwood: I'm sure she is.
- Julie: We have to call someone right now!
- [Marcie nods]
- Courtney: No way!
- Julie: Why not? You said it was an accident!
- [passerby car's horn honks, and Courtney steps on the brakes, causing the corpse in the trunk to shift and make a loud bumping noise]
- Marcie: Oh, my God, did you hear that? I think I'm gonna be sick!
- Courtney: Sick? That's it, Liz is sick.
- Julie: Courtney, she is dead!
- Courtney: Does the school know that? I don't think so.
- Julie: What? You can not just call in sick for her! We have to tell somebody! Liz is...
- Courtney: ...dead. Liz is dead! Do you have any idea what that means?
- Marcie: You're a shoo-in for prom queen?
- Julie: That is so not funny. Our best friend is dead!
- Courtney: People are not gonna be pleased.
- Julie: [tearfully] But they'll understand!
- Courtney: No! *You* understand! I am nothing, but I was cute enough to play a clever little prank on my girlfriend for her birthday. Gimme the phone!
- Courtney: Food's cool and all. You need it to live, but the mere act of eating invokes thoughts of digestion, flatulation, defecation. Even shall we say, complexion defection.
- Courtney: Well, if it isn't the beautiful people!
- Brenda: Courtney, I've been meaning to tell you, you are to-die to-die!
- Courtney: Thank you, my dear.
- Marcie: [talking to her date] I'm so bored tonight. I think it's time for a little room service.
- Courtney: Marcie! Reality check. I think there's a certain announcement that needs to be made.
- Dane: Yeah. Give it up for the prom queen.
- Marcie: Oh my god, Courtney. I am so sorry!
- Courtney: It's okay, Marce. We can't all be up to speed, can we, girls?
- [Gothic Girl is in bathroom trying to find a stall]
- Make-Up Monger #1: I'm sorry, this stall is reserved.
- Gothic Girl: What?
- Make-Up Monger #1: Haven't you met Vylette? It's all about Vylette.
- Gothic Girl: [after Marcie has just cracked an egg open in Home Ec. Class and sees blood in the yoke] Cool! You've got a still-born!
- Marcie: Trends change. People change. It's all about details. Pay attention to details. Look at my nails. In junior high, I wore only pink. Now it makes me puke. So I change. See? It's called Demented. Seriously, the color's called Demented.
- Courtney: Mine? Decayed. Like Julie. Our friendship with her is decayed. Rot. Julie is over. Done, null and void. In two weeks, no one will know her including you. From now on, you don't know her. Never knew her. She's like Fern Mayo. A bad dream. Get it?
- Marcie: This is a joke, right? This is a total joke. Say it's a joke!
- Courtney: It was supposed to be for fun.
- Marcie: Oh, my God. This isn't happening. Say this isn't happening!
- Courtney: I just didn't want her to scream.
- Julie: Oh, God. Oh, God, Liz!
- Courtney: I thought a jawbreaker would be funny.
- Julie: You gagged her with a jawbreaker?
- Miss Sherwood: [to Courtney] Please, cover you bosoms. This is a learning institution, it's not a brothel.
- Julie: Fern? Oh my God. Fern, are you okay? Fern, it's me, Julie.
- Fern: I'm not Fern. Oh my God.
- Julie: It's okay, Fern.
- Fern: Go away. Please just go away.
- Julie: It's okay.
- Fern: How can you look at me? I'm shit. I'm reprehensible.
- Julie: No, you're not.
- Fern: I'm nothing. Before all this, I was something. Not much, but something.
- Julie: You're a good person, Fern.
- Fern: A lot of good that did me. I'm nothing. I'm shit. I'm a nobody.
- Julie: I don't blame you for what you did, Fern. I know what it's like to be scared. That day at Liz's house, we were terrified. It's not like you had a choice.
- Fern: I'm so sorry, Julie. I'm sorry.
- Julie: It's okay. I know.
- Marcie: [in dining room] Dad, don't be a dick.
- Marcie's Father: *What* did you say?
- Marcie: Are you gonna launch into another lecture on the ugliness of profanity?
- Marcie's Father: I just wish you could hear yourself. You sound uneducated.
- Marcie: Dad...
- Marcie's Father: And you know what? It reflects on your parents.
- Marcie: Pa-*rent.*
- Marcie's Father: That's right. I gotta be the Mom and the Dad.
- Marcie: Whatever.
- Marcie's Father: I was watching Oprah today...
- Marcie: Hmm. That must be the Mom in you.
- Marcie's Father: [not put off his sttide] And you know what the topic was?
- Marcie: Lemme guess. Club kids?
- Marcie's Father: No. It was "Is your child a follower?"
- Marcie: [smirks] I'm done.
- Marcie's Father: And you know what?
- Marcie: Can I go now?
- Marcie's Father: I was deeply concerned, because, yes, Oprah, my child is a follower.
- Marcie: You're so lame, you don't even have any friends.
- Marcie's Father: Oh, whatever happened to my sweet little Brownie?
- [tries to rub her cheek]
- Marcie: [pulls away] Stop.
- Marcie's Father: My Girl Scout? You remember the Tiffany concert?
- [chuckles]
- Marcie's Father: You loved Tiffany!
- [sings:]
- Marcie's Father: I think we're alone now...
- Marcie: Oh, my God!
- [clutches her head in pain]
- Marcie's Father: [continues singing] There doesn't seem to be anyone around...
- Marcie: [doorbell rings] Thank God!
- Courtney: I know you. I know all about you. You're the one in the corner that the geeks won't dance with because they're at home fucking old pervs in cyberspace, thinking they're doing some hot babe. There's nothing to hide, Fern. You're nothing. We're everything. You're the shadow, we're the sun. But I'm here to offer you something you never dreamed of. Something that you were never meant to be, but will be. Because today, Fern, my dear, fate has decided that you are cool. We're gonna make you... one of us. Beautiful, popular, loved, feared. All you've ever dreamed of. If, and only if, you never, ever tell anyone what you heard. Think of it.
- Julie: This is sick, Courtney. You don't own someone by making them beautiful. A makeover can't hide the truth.
- Courtney: Liz is gone, Fern. Take her place.
- Courtney: Fern, I need you to be completely honest with us. And I know you will be, because you're an honest kind of gal. Tell us, did you hear anything? And let's not lie. I have this gift. I can smell a lie.
- Julie: Leave her alone, Courtney.
- Courtney: Fern is a big girl, Julie. She can speak for herself.
- Julie: Fern, come on. I'm gonna take you home.
- [walks up to Fern then Courtney stops her]
- Fern: [softly] Homework.
- Courtney: What?
- Fern: I was sent with Liz's homework.
- Marcie: Isn't that nice? Heh, heh.
- Courtney: And you heard us? It's okay, Fern. No one's gonna hurt you.
- Fern: [terrified] I don't know.
- Julie: She don't know.
- Courtney: We're all girlfriends here. It's just between us. What do you know?
- Julie: She doesn't know anything.
- Courtney: Come on, Fern. Say what you heard. Come on, Fern. Say it! What did you hear?
- [Fern gets more terrified, then sees Liz's corpse body on her bed, she screams in terror and runs downstairs]
- Courtney: Marcie, get her!