- Andrew Dice Clay: Hickory Dickory Dock. Some chick's been sucking my cock. Clock struck two, dropped my goo...
- Andrew Dice Clay, Audience: ...Dumped the bitch down the next block!
- [talking to a couple in the audience]
- Andrew Dice Clay: Panties? You shouldn't be wearing panties. D-Don't you read the gynaecological reports!
- [uproarious laughter]
- Andrew Dice Clay: You get that-that moisture build-up which leads to you know, the yeast thing.
- [more laughter]
- Andrew Dice Clay: I mean, you're making *bread* down there, baby.
- [more laughter]
- Andrew Dice Clay: And after the guy eats a loaf-and-a-half he gets FULL!
- [more laughter]
- Andrew Dice Clay: Jack and Jill went up the hill, each witk a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with two-fifty, OOOOOOOOOOOOH!
- Andrew Dice Clay, Audience: WHAT A FUCKING WHORE!
- Andrew Dice Clay: Well, I'm glad you people listened and take some advice. You can do anything you want, take it from Dice. Always knew I'd make it, I never had a doubt. Life's like sex baby. The more you put in, Oh! The more you get out. End of story.