I think the previous reviewers may have been watching this with half an eye on half faded memories. It feels entirely unfair to review a 40 year old zero budget production badly, but the fact is this is both truly horrible and unintentionally hilarious in equal measure.
I have no problem with a zero budget production per se. And the BBC was churning them out successfully at the time, but to succeed at that level you need three things to overcome the lack of budget. An exceptional script, exceptional actors and an exceptional director. Even one of these factors can raise the bar. Warrior Queen has none, and for good measure has atrocious props, costume and sets as well. The Roman Helmets are clearly plastic and the outdoor scenes are clearly taking place in a damp field in Essex. You half expect Sid James and Barbara Windsor in half a bikini to wander on.
And yes, I did just say that actors the calibre of Nigel Hawthorne and Sian Phillips were not exceptional. Both have done wonders elsewhere but Sian Phillips is given literally nothing to do. There are no rabble rousing speeches, because they could only afford eight extras for the rabble. Nigel Hawthorne meanwhile is trying his darling best to inject some comedy into the po faced script, but he comes across as having wandered over from the filming of A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum, while the other actors react to him as if he's wandered in from the set of ET.
The script is dreadful. At one point the Roman General character describes the upcoming battle with the Celts as being 'a joyride'. I know we can't have everything in actual Latin, but there's such a thing as the writer making an effort. Said battle, between six thousand Celts and several hundred Romans, is portrayed by 8 extras waving swords in the general direction of an opponent, and a particularly constipated Roman Soldier extra witnessing the 'battle' before falling over. Dead, it would appear, from standing in a damp field in Essex.
Yes it feels unfair that I'm being so cruel. The Director has tried his best, when asked to portray a massing of six thousand celts in the wilds of Northern Britain during the 3rd century and given just 8 extras, plastic props and a damp field in Essex, he has done his job and diligently cut the film to ribbons in order to try and pretend that there's something going on. He's failed, but he did try. I'll give him points for that.
No doubt in 1978 people were glad for as much drama as they could get. But the sad fact is, that even in the standards of the time, this is laughable. Compared to the drama of today, it might as well have been made in the 2nd century as the 20th. I've giggled my way through it. and it is worth a watch for the hilarity of Boudicca starting the rebellion of the Brits by slowly (so as not to hurt him) and clumsily, throwing Nigel Hawthorne off a horse. (Russel Crowe, eat your heart out).
I do appreciate Network bringing back old TV on DVD. They have returned some gems. But I think those surviving cast and crew from this production would, on balance, have much preferred it to have stayed dead and buried in the seventies, where it belongs, and a half distant memory in certain viewers minds.
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