Celebrity Deathmatch (1998–2007)
Maurice Schlafer: Johnny Gomez
Quotes
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[each episode's closing line]
Johnny Gomez : Good fight, good night.
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Johnny Gomez : What the?
[to Nick]
Johnny Gomez : WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TAPE?
Nick Diamond : Oh shoot, I...
Johnny Gomez : Don't tell me! You have the only copy of this historic Beatles fight with all these new songs and you've recorded over its- Tell me it's not true!
Nick Diamond : What can I say, Johnny? I'm a JAG Maniac!
Johnny Gomez : You're a JAG Off!
[to the audience]
Johnny Gomez : Sorry folks. I'll make sure he pays for this. For Celebrity Deathmatch, I'm Johnny Gomez.
Nick Diamond : And I'm...
Johnny Gomez : [to Nick] A DEAD man!
[to the audience]
Johnny Gomez : Good fight, good night!
[Punching Nick 2 times, to Nick]
Johnny Gomez : You stupid, harmless-!
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[Axl Rose pulls out a sharp object from under his kilt]
Johnny Gomez : Nick, what the hell is this psycho doing?
[Celtic music played in background]
Nick Diamond : Ancient Scottish soldiers wearing kilts such as Axl's always carried a dagger strapped to their ankle. Tradition has it that once a soldier removes it from its scabbard, he can't put it back without drawing blood... even if it's his own.
Johnny Gomez : It's scissors, Nick.
[Celtic music abruptly stops]
Nick Diamond : Oh... uh, that must be a different tradition.