- Helga: Don't shoot or I'll kiss him again!
- Milo Oblong: She's not bluffing! She'll do it! Her lips are like shark skin!
- Milo Oblong: [reading Biff's diary] Ran laps behind Coach at practice. I hope someday to have his perfect buttocks.
- [flips pages]
- Milo Oblong: Came in early today. Coach was alone in the jacuzzi. Boring!
- Helga Phugly: Thanks for the hot chow, Milo!
- [chews food and spits out]
- Helga Phugly: Your mother should be beaten with an oar.
- Milo Oblong: It takes some getting used to.
- Helga Phugly: Hello! Am I invisible? I'll arrange a little accident and you'll never see it coming.
- Milo Oblong: Your armpit is really wet.
- Helga Phugly: Yeah. This is going to be really sweet.
- Milo Oblong: What are you doing?
- Pickles Oblong: Burying beer. Aw, crud. That means I drank gopher poison.