- Eddie: It's over. Why can't you just let it go?
- Jane: I can't.
- Eddie: Why?
- Jane: Because I was happy. Because if this theory is wrong, men don't leave all women, Eddie. They leave me.
- Eddie: I know it hurts. I know. It's so hard to believe that something that wonderful can ever happen to us again, but it can.
- Jane: I mean, c'mon! I was comparing men to animals!... Which, let's face it, sometimes they are. But sometimes, they are not. Sometimes, you open the barn door, or the bedroom door, or the hospital room door, and you find the real thing. You find a guy that can sit with you when you're at your absolute worst, when your face looks like a punching bag and you're elbow deep in Kleenex, and he can still look at you, and tell you that Ray is not the last man you're ever going to love.
- Jane: There are few things sadder in this life than watching someone walk away after they've left you, watching the distance between your bodies expand until there's nothing... but empty space and silence.
- Jane: Eddie, did you ever find a roommate?
- Eddie: Well, no actually.
- Ray: You're moving in with Eddie?
- Jane: [to Eddie] Because the place I was supposed to move into just suddenly fell apart and I was wondering if the offer was still good.
- Ray: You're moving in with Eddie?
- Jane: [to Ray] Maybe.
- [to Eddie]
- Jane: What's it like?
- Eddie: 2 bedroom loft, big kitchen, lots of windows...
- Jane: Sounds amazing. When can I see it?
- Eddie: How about tonight?
- Jane: Perfect. Everything is just perfect.
- Liz: [referring to Ray's girlfriend] If he mentions her, just smile politely and change the subject.
- Jane: Why?
- Liz: Because if you bring her up, he's gonna feel pushed and resentful. This way it's like, no pressure. I'm happy. I'm healthy, getting sex other places.
- Liz: Lizzie, where do you get this stuff?
- Jane: snagmen.com, it's very informative.
- Jane: This is key to understanding the myth of male shyness. For while you think he is flattering you, he is actually flattering himself. Showing how open and honest and sensitive he is.
- Street Vendor: Are you going to buy anything or not?
- Liz: Shush, shush, I'm concentrating.
- Street Vendor: Ok.
- Jane: What's going on?
- Stephen, Alice's Husband: [holding a hypodermic needle over an orange] Dr. Lipshick started your sister on injections?
- Jane: Of orange juice?
- Jane: [Opening Line] If someone had asked me not long ago why I thought it was that men left women and never came back, I would have said this: "New cow." The new cow theory was born of a broken heart. It came to me while reading an article on male behavior in the New York Times science section, which chronicled a particularly fascinating study on the mating preferences of the male cow. First, a bull was presented with a cow. They mated. The next day, the bull was presented with the same cow. The bull wasn't interested. He wanted new cow, and this was old cow. Curious to see if they could trick the bull, the scientists came up with an ingenious ploy. The old cow was smeared with new cow scent, but he was no fool. This wasn't new cow. This was just old cow incognito. Old cow in sheep's clothing. Mutton dressed as lamb.