Sorority Boys (2002)
Harland Williams: Doofer
Photos
Quotes
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Leah : Would you like to share something personal with the crew? Robert... Uh... Ro-berta.
Roberta : Personal?
Leah : Mm.
Roberta : Well, uh, my name is Roberta, and... I'm addicted to porn and I masturbate constantly.
[silence - the sorority sisters stare at him]
Roberta : Pillow fight! Pillow fight!
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Doofer : [while contemplating how to get back the money stolen from the house safe] Though I hardly think this is the appropriate time to ask, but what about the tape?
Adam : [sighs] What tape?
Doofer : The tape of Adam humpin' the Tri Pis, man.
[Adam looks up in surprise]
Dave : [turns around] Doofer, what are you saying?
Doofer : [cuts to a flashback, Doofer narrates. Doofer stumbles into his room, drunk] I had just gotten done studying for some school when I notice that Adam's speaker was tipped over
[trips over Adam's speaker in his drunken haze]
Doofer : Inside of it was a video camera rigged with a motion detector. I carefully traced back the source to a footlocker at the bottom of Adam's closet, which was... you know, already unlocked
[Doofer tries to pick and hammer the lock open, but finally succeeds in blowing it off with a revolver]
Doofer : . Inside the footlocker was a video cassette recorder. But naturally, since it was his private property, I didn't touch anything
[Doofer hits play on the VCR, which starts up a home video of Adam having sex with a Tri Pi]
Doofer : . You could see the safe right next to his bed!
Adam : [enraged] You were watching my tape?
Doofer : [under his breath] ... Noooooooo
[cuts to Doofer eating popcorn and "cleaning up" with tissue]
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Doofer : After we get that mustache, maybe we can do those armpits. and then... we can do your knuckles. And your back, Your legs... your ass.
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Roberta : [pulling hair out of sink] It's a fuckin' Wookie, man!
[imitating Wookie roar]