Old School (2003)
Luke Wilson: Mitch
Photos
Quotes
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Mitch Martin : True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...
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Mitch : I've had a hell of a day and even worse week. And all I want to do is get some fucking sleep.
Beanie : Why in front of the kid? With the F-ing? All ya gotta do is say "earmuffs" to him. "Earmuffs". Then you can say "Fuck, shit, bitch", whatever you want.
Frank : Cock. Balls.
Beanie : I'm just trying to make a point, Frank. You don't have to celebrate it.
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Mitch : Sorry, your seatbelt seems to be broken. What do you recommend I do?
Cab Driver : I recommend you stop being such a faggot. You're in the backseat.
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Weensie : [after learning he's going to be expelled] Listen, this is a serious situation. I mean, I'm kicked out of school. I don't know what I'm gonna do, man. My mom's gonna kill me.
Mitch : C'mon, she's not gonna kill you.
Weensie : Yes she is. See, I'm the first one to go to college in my family and when I left she said, "Weensie, if you screw this up, I'll kill you." She showed me the knife.
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Mitch : Wow. Cheese. Is that you?
Dean Pritchard : Hello, Mitch. Bernard. I see you guys haven't changed much.
Beanie : Who's this guy?
Mitch : Beanie, you remember Cheese, Rodney's kid brother?
Dean Pritchard : Actually, my name's not Cheese anymore. It's Gordon Pritchard.
Beanie : Oh, yeah. Cheeeeeese. Yeah, didn't we lock you in a dumpster one time?
Dean Pritchard : Yea, I got out.
Beanie : Cool man. Good. Glad you did.
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Beanie : [after finding out that it's in the bylaw that the only way to keep the fraternity is take a course of tests but Beanie does not want to do it] Who'se lives are ruined?
Mitch Martin : Well, see. Blue's dead. Frank's divorced. I lost my house. Nicole thinks I'm a total jackass. And now we got nine kids who are gonna get expelled from school, and you're not even gonna help them.
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Mitch Martin : At this point, you may be asking yourself, why am I holding this 30 pound cinderblock in my hands? You might also ask yourself, why does this cinderblock have a long piece of string tied to it? And finally, why is the other end of this string tied securely to your penis?
Beanie : And the answer, ladies... is trust.
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Frank : Hey, I just want to thank you one last time for being here. It's the best day ever.
Beanie : Don't even start with me, Franklin, okay? You need to walk away from this ASAP.
Frank : What?
Beanie : You need to get out, Frankie. This is it. It's now or never. You need to get out of here while you're still single.
Frank : I'm not single.
Beanie : She's 30 yards away, you're single now.
Frank : Come on, Marissa's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Beanie : Why don't you give that six months. You don't think that'll change? I got a wife, kids. Do I seem like a happy guy to you, Frankie?
Beanie : There's my wife. See that? Always smiling? Hi, honey. Judging, watching, "Look at the baby."
Mitch Martin : She's coming down the aisle, Beanie. Let it go.
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Mitch : All I want to do is get some fucking sleep.
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Mitch : So what are you? Campus security?
Dean Pritchard : Try again.
Beanie : Jevohah Witness?
Dean Pritchard : I'm the Dean. Dean Pritchard.
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Jerry : What sort of actual association will you have with the university?
Mitch Martin : Who are these people?
Frank : I don't know.
Beanie : Well, legally speaking, there will be a loose affiliation. But, we will give nothing back to the academic community. As well as provide no public service of any kind. This much I promise you.
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Mitch : This is my house. I live here, Beanie. I'm 30 years old. None of us are enrolled in the college.
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Mitch : Beanie, you remember, Cheese.
Beanie : Oh, yeah. Cheeeeese... Didn't we lock you in the dumpster one time?
Dean Pritchard : [aggitated] I got out.
Beanie : Cool, man.
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Mitch Martin : Denver? The sunshine state? Gorgeous!