Life with Louie: A Christmas Surprise for Mrs. Stillman (1994 TV Short)

Louie Anderson: Self, Andy Anderson (Dad), Little Louie

Quotes 

• [The tree tilts to one side] 

  Louie : Dad! It's crooked!

  Dad : Put it by the TV, no one'll notice. For thirty five bucks, that tree should dance!

• [Repeated line] 

  Dad : I heard that!

• Dad : How much for that tree without any limbs?

  Xmas Tree Salesman : That's a $35 tree.

  Dad : What?! You gonna come over and decorate it for us? I'll give you three bucks for it.

  Louie : Oh my gosh! He's not our legal father!

• Louie : Dad, when are we going to put up lights?

  Dad : When the war was on, we couldn't put up lights.

  Louie : Huh?

  Adult Louie : My mom would always interpret from my dad.

  Mom : Your dad is telling you not this weekend, but next.

• Dad : Just wait 'til that old bird sees her electric bill. She'll wish that she had married Tom Edison.

• Dad : Go get the stand out of the basement.

  Louie : You mean the stand that came over on the Mayflower?

  Dad : It's a good stand! 'Been handed down generation after generation. When I was a kid, we didn't have any stands, WE HAD TO TAKE TURNS HOLDING THE TREE!!

• Louie : Dad, can you believe it? Mrs. Stillman doesn't even have a Christmas tree.

  Dad : Yeah? She's thirty five bucks richer too!

• Andy Anderson : Why are you limping? Did you get hit in the ear with an ice ball?

• Grunewald : Hey guys, here they come!

  Dad : [Car breaks down on the corner]  Are you sure it's my car?

  Grunewald : I'd know that piece-of-junk green Rambler any day.

  Dad : [The car won't start]  That car's a classic!

• Dad : It's very important to make sure all the bulbs light before you spend hours putting'em up.

  Louie : [mutters]  Oh, there's a thought.

  Dad : I heard that.

  [he plugs in the lights, they all shine brightly] 

  Louie : Wow!

  Dad : Darn it! They work.

• Dad : Get your coat, 'cause you're coming with me.

  Louie : I better stay here with Tommy.

  Dad : Your sister will watch him.

  [calls up the stairs] 

  Dad : Laura, watch your brother down here. Don't let him blow up the house. I'm going over to the Stillman house to ROB it, with LOOOOUIE.

  Adult Louie : [voice over]  Just what I needed: to go out in the subzero weather with the abominable loudmouth.

• Dad : [the kids are watching Miracle on 34th Street, at the scene where Santa teaches Susan how to act like a monkey]  For crying out loud, what the heck is this? Louie, put the donut down and put on channel TWO!

• Louie : [Andy had just fallen off a ladder]  Dad, are you okay?

  Dad : You kiddin'? I used to jump out of planes without a 'chute.

• Louie : [muttering]  I get all the bad jobs, plugging lights in each other, he's up there on the roof skating around. This is no fun, I could get electrocuted down here.

• Adult Louie : My dad never spoke words of sentiment, but he did thank me in his own way.

  Dad : Hurry up, I'm freezing my war wound off.