- Twitty: Tom?
- Tom Gribalski: Ahoy, mateys! What brings you landlubbers down to the salty brine?
- Twitty: Speak English, please?
- Tom Gribalski: Oh, excuse me... Whass'up...?
- Donnie: How could you steal all our food?
- Ren: As usual, Donnie, you have everything backwards.
- Donnie: ARE YOU CALLING ME STUPID?
- Ren: No. I am calling you a liar!
- Louis: You guys had to get back at us, huh? Thank you!
- Beans: But we got the evidence! How do you explain this, Louis?
- Louis: You stole my food... AND MY SHIRT? Gimme that, you little worm-eating...!
- Ren: Don't you talk to him like that!
- Louis: What, is Beansy your little boyfriend now, Ren?
- Ren: You don't have the right to talk! You caused all the trouble and you ate all the food!
- Eileen Stevens: Okay, enough. Enough, kids. Stop. You kids shouldn't fight just because your father's trying to teach me a lesson.
- Steve: And what would that be?
- Eileen Stevens: Look, Steve, I know that you're upset since you've been out of work and that you are trying to prove to Ren and Beans that you can put food in their mouths.
- Steve: What?
- Eileen Stevens: But couldn't you leave a little something for us?
- Steve: Don't twist this around! There wasn't a crumb of food left when we got up there! It's almost like you're trying to make me look bad!
- Eileen Stevens: Now you are losing it.
- Steve: DON'T TELL ME I'M LOSING IT!
- Eileen Stevens: Don't you yell in front of my family!
- Steve: IT'S MY FAMILY TOO!
- Louis: Hold on, hold on. Mom, we don't need them. We don't need them! We'll be fine on our own, thank you.
- Ren: Oh, really? Well, you can sleep out in the rain tonight!
- Louis: WE CAN AND WE WILL!
- Twitty: Okay, I'll tell you guys again: I've never met the Stevens family, okay? My name is Lawrence Honeytoast, I'm a marine biologist, and I'm here on top-secret government business.
- Tom Gribalski: The technology is amazing.
- Twitty: It's your masterpiece!
- Tawny Dean: Are you really gonna sit in this thing all summer?
- Louis: Hold on, hold on! Don't call her a "thing!" She's my ultra-loungematic superchair.
- [push a button so that an arm gives him a soda. He drinks of it]
- Twitty: Sweet!
- Louis: [belches] Watch this, watch this.
- [pushing down another button so the machine quivers and gives him massage]
- Louis: Like a thousand tiny fingers working all the right parts.
- Tawny Dean: You've brought laziness to an art form.
- [Louis pushes another button]
- The Ultra-Loungematic Superchair: Thank-you. Taw-ny.
- Louis: Hold on. Okay, you know this is boring, and you just wanna go because you broke up with your stupid boyfriend and want to get away.
- Ren: And you just wanna stay here and sit on your stupid chair.
- Donnie: Do they have cable?
- Miles McDermott: Son, the beauty of Mandelino is there is no modern convenience of any kind.
- Donnie: Guys, this sounds kinda cool. I mean, I can run on the beach, get into football shape...
- Louis: Donnie, come on! You can run here and get in shape here. Please.
- Eileen Stevens: You know, Steve, this could be a wonderful family adventure. It could be everything we've been hoping for.
- Louis: No, Mom, listen... Listen, here's an adventure: You can stay here at home and give me breakfast and do my laundry, and that'll be an adventure. Dad, come on! Dad, listen. Dad... CAN SOMEBODY PUT A STOP TO THE MADNESS, PLEASE!
- Louis: Ren, I'm your brother, and I love messin' with you. But I would never do anything to hurt you.
- [about the slug the tribal people offered the Stevens family to eat]
- Miles McDermott: Havin' trouble gettin' it down, huh?
- Louis: [spits slug out on Beans' head] I, uh... I generally try to avoid snacks that leave a trail of slime.
- [Tom was singing "Blow the Man Down"]
- Twitty: Tom! TOM! It's getting dark, and I'm getting seasick so I want a little less singing, and little more sailing, OKAY?
- Tom Gribalski: Well, excuse me, Benedict Twitty! If you don't like a good sea shanty, maybe you should take the bus to Cadelona!
- Miles McDermott: [as Ren is chasing Louis through the forest with a spear, on camera] Don't worry. She wouldn't hurt him.
- Ren: I'm gonna hurt you, Louis!
- Louis: [pulls out second chair]
- [to Tawny]
- Louis: Come sit next to papa.
- Tom Gribalski: I'll sit next to papa any time!
- Lance LeBow: You know, we put this prank together in a matter of just a couple of hours thanks to family friends, Alan Twitty and Tawny Dean Now, what prompted you two to call Gotcha with this great prank?
- Twitty: Uhh... guilt and shame.
- Tawny Dean: Okay, I would like to say that embarrassing innocent people on TV for fun and profit is one of the lowest, disgusting...
- [Tawny and cameraman fight over the camera]
- Tawny Dean: Gimme that!
- [after learning the islanders' tiki goddesses' name]
- Eileen Stevens: [to Miles] Oprah?
- Miles McDermott: It's a coincidence.
- Twitty: Well, it's all our fault...
- [Twitty stops guiltily. Tawny stare at him]
- Twitty: Uh, all my fault... I set them up.
- Tom Gribalski: I'm doubly appalled.
- Tawny Dean: You could help us, Tom. And you could help Louis.
- Tom Gribalski: Well, Louis is my friend... when it suits him. And I can accept that. What can I do?
- Twitty: Can you sail this tub to Catalona?
- Ruby: [when Ren kiss Mootai] That is so beautiful
- Monique Taylor: Gee, maybe you forgot... It's not real!
- Ruby: Who cares? It's so romantic.
- Louis: Wanna sit right here next to papa?
- [Tawny looks at him, but then smiles and walks towards the plane]