- [title card]
- Title Card: Every year, wealthy foundations offer fellowships to the most promising scientific minds in the country, WITH A FEW STRINGS ATTACHED.
- Ted: Excuse me. I think I'm lost. Is this the Wattsburg Research Lab or Club Fed?
- Guard: Your name, please?
- Ted: This doesn't much look like it does in the brochure, does it?
- Guard: All you Hertz fellows say the same thing. I need some I.D.
- [checks ID]
- Guard: Go to lot 92B, then get processed in personnel.
- Ted: I'm just here for the tour. I probably won't stay too long.
- Guard: Yeah. They all say that.
- Ted: Thank you.
- [to himself]
- Ted: These people are like the walking dead.
- [last lines]
- Robert Anton Wilson: There is no one model that will solve all of our problems, or if there is, I haven't found it yet.