Munna Bhai M.B.B.S. (2003)

Sanjay Dutt: Murli Prasad Sharma (Munna Bhai)

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. J. Asthana : May I ask what is happening here?

  Murli Prasad Sharma : No!

• Murli Prasad Sharma : Circuit, did you know that there are 206 bones in the body?... We never thought about that while breaking them, did we?

• Circuit : [Answering the phone]  Who is this?

  Murli Prasad Sharma : Its your dadm who do you think?

  Circuit : Bro, How are you Bro?

  Murli Prasad Sharma : i need a body

  Circuit : Body? who's body Bro?

  Murli Prasad Sharma : you know, the one they use for dissection, one of those bodies.

  Circuit : Bro, how am i going to find one of those bodies?

  Murli Prasad Sharma : how would i know? just find one!

  Circuit : Dump the tension bro, you concentrate on your studies, i'll organize a body

  [he looks out onto the street and see's a chinese tourist taking pictures of some of the other gang members posing for the camera] 

  Circuit : Bro, will an imported body do?

  Murli Prasad Sharma : yeah it will, just bring it quickly!

  Circuit : i'll be there in ten minutes bro, just ten minutes!

  Circuit : Hey Butkya... get a sack

  Butkya : Right away

  [leaves to get a sack] 

  Chinese tourist : [taking pictures of Munna's gang members posing for the camera while doing there laundry]  Thankyou! Thankyou!

  Circuit : [walking to the chinese tourist]  hey Chilli chicken, you wanna take some photos of an ambulance, its a five-star ambulance?

  Chinese tourist : No, i want real india, poor people, hungry people!

  Circuit : poor hungry people, inside the ambulance, they are really bleurghh!

  Chinese tourist : Really? okay good!

  Circuit : Hey Hakka Noodle, youve come in from abroad and you only wanna see naked, hungry people, dont you want to see the taj mahal?

  Chinese tourist : no no, hungry and poor men!

  Butkya : [Runs up with a small shopping bag]  Bro will this bag do?

  Circuit : [looks at the bag, takes and it whacks him across the head with it]  you stupid! how the hell am i going to fit him in? am i going to fold him in there? hey you?

  [to the chinese tourist] 

  Circuit : How long are you?

  Chinese tourist : 5 foot six

  Circuit : [to the gang member]  get a six foot bag!

  [to the chinese tourist] 

  Circuit : you come with me, you dont want to see taj mahal, i will show you hungry indian!

  [leads him into the ambulance] 

  Chinese tourist : [from inside the ambulance, as circuit knocks him out]  Argh!

• Murli Prasad Sharma : [slapping a goon]  You over-acting piece of@#%! You're supposed to have a kidney problem, and instead you have a heart attack!

  [He points to another goon disguised as a patient] 

  Murli Prasad Sharma : Look at this chap - what a natural actor! He's been playing the same role for three years and Papa's never recognised him!

• Murli Prasad Sharma : Hey circuit, check this out, who would want to marry a cry baby? he tries to commit suicide after a six month fling! Hey

  [talks to the boy in the hospital bed] 

  Murli Prasad Sharma : your mother has loved you all your life, can't you stay alive for her?

• Murli Prasad Sharma : It's just what I feared... lymphoma of the intestines...

• Dr. J. Asthana : Can I ask what is going on here?

  Murli Prasad Sharma : Ask! Don't be shy, ask. Come on, ask!

• Circuit : Bro, if it hurts you so much, why don't you tell your father the truth? Tell him that a don gets more respect in this city than any damn doc!

  Murli Prasad Sharma : He'll die if he comes to know - it's just a matter of seven days, Circuit, give it a rest...

• Dr. J. Asthana : Are there any questions?

  Murli Prasad Sharma : Yes, sir... If a man is dying in the admission ward, is it necessary for him to fill our a form?

  [a shocked Asthana dismisses the class, but the next day...] 

  Murli Prasad Sharma : Sir, I asked you a question yesterday that you didn't answer - can't you answer it today?

• Murli Prasad Sharma : Wow, Anand bhai, you look like a hero! All the nurses are going to fight over you!

• [Circuit and Munna have just kidnapped Ghanshyam Seth] 

  Murli Prasad Sharma : Circuit, I said "Point the gun," not "Shoot out all of Mumbai!"

  Circuit : Chill out, bro - these are blanks, they only sting!

  Ghanshyam Seth : [Trying to run] 

  Circuit : [Pointing gun at Ghanshyam]  Hey, Flo Jo, at this range even a fake bullet can do the job! What?

• Murli Prasad Sharma : Circuit, I've decided I'm going to be a doctor...

  Circuit : Uh... bro, why don't you go to sleep, and we'll talk about it in the morning...

  Murli Prasad Sharma : I knew you'd say that - you think I'm sloshed, don't you? I'm serious!

  Circuit : But, bro, what's the point?

  Murli Prasad Sharma : The point? Circuit, the point is that my father will be proud of me! You should've been there - that baldy stood there insulting my father, and I just kept quiet! I'll show him! I'll become a doctor like him and marry his daughter! Circuit, find me the best medical college in Mumbai...!

• Murli Prasad Sharma : Circuit, I'm missing Mom. I keep remembering her.

  Circuit : Your memory is very solid, man, so solid that I can see her. Hey, are you missing Dad also. I can see him too.

• [Circuit has received a telegram from Hari Prasad Sharma about his arrival] 

  Murli Prasad Sharma : When?

  Circuit : Today, at five o'clock!

  Murli Prasad Sharma : Damn! We're screwed!

• Murli Prasad Sharma : [seeing goons taking down the hospital sign]  HEY! Don't touch that signboard! My father's name is on that sign! Hands off! Bastards! Don't you dare!

  [He goes berserk, and has to be restrained by Circuit] 

• [Munnabhai is on the phone when his gang tells him he has entered the college] 

  Murli Prasad Sharma : Ninavati Hospital? Hang on a moment! Lilavati Hospital? I can't come to work today! Apollo Hospital? Hold your horses! Huh? Bread Candy Hospital? Hold, man, hold, I am busy...

  [He hangs up and with Circuit and the others, rushes off to celebrate] 

• Murli Prasad Sharma : [singing]  My name? You haven't heard yet? Munnabhai... M.B.B.S.!

• [Circuit accompanies Munnabhai to his college room] 

  Circuit : [looking around]  What the...? It ends almost right where it begins!

  Murli Prasad Sharma : Circuit, do you know why God sent me to this college?

  Circuit : God certainly never told me!

  Murli Prasad Sharma : Because he wants me to settle a score with the man who made my father cry!

  Circuit : Okay, if it's settled with God, all right!

• Murli Prasad Sharma : Circuit, have you ever felt as though you were going to die?

  Circuit : You know that dude Shakeel?

  Murli Prasad Sharma : Yeah?

  Circuit : He once went after me with a knife - I thought I was gonna go that day!

  Murli Prasad Sharma : Not that, Circuit - I meant, have you ever felt as though you were fatally ill, and could only wait, helpless? Watching the clock and calendar go by like a time bomb, and your life, your dreams coming face to face with THE END...

  Circuit : Bro, my mother used to say that we became stars when we die...

  [He starts pointing at stars in the sky] 

  Circuit : Look, there's my father - the bugger used to beat me a lot! And there's Uncle - he was a cool dude! Hey... where's Mom? Aaah, Mumbai's getting too polluted, man...

• [after Munna is expelled, he and Circuit are wandering around in a drunken stupor] 

  Murli Prasad Sharma : Circuit, I've decided I'm going back to the village!

  Circuit : [flourishing two tickets]  I knew it - that's why I've brought TWO railway tickets!

  Murli Prasad Sharma : But what will you do in the village? You can't even handle a plough!

  Circuit : Bro, if I do that, then what will the cows do?

• Dr. Suman Asthana : [about Anand]  Murli, what's the point of talking to him? Nothing you say to him will reach his ears!

  Murli Prasad Sharma : So what if his ears can't hear it, he hears it with his heart! You see, when two people share a strong connection, then they can communicate to each other through their hearts...

  Dr. Suman Asthana : You're too much, Murli...

  [She leaves, but Munna tries to prove his point] 

  Murli Prasad Sharma : [thinking]  Ms. Suman, I hope you can hear me...

  [No response] 

  Murli Prasad Sharma : [thinking]  Mike testing, 1, 2, 3...

  [No response] 

  Murli Prasad Sharma : [thinking]  Ms. Suman, I think I'm in love with you...

  [At this, Suman finally turns and looks at Munna. She smiles, blushes and leaves] 

• Dr. Rustam Pavri : [Outside the Operation Theatre at IMS]  You want admission in Medical Science ? What was your HSC percentage ?

  Murli Prasad Sharma : What's that ?

  Dr. Rustam Pavri : 12th standard, 12th board.

  Murli Prasad Sharma : How much is required for admission to the medical college ?

  Dr. Rustam Pavri : Atleast 90.

  Circuit : [With an idea in mind]  Sure, it was there. You'll get the certificates by this evening.

  Dr. Rustam Pavri : Good. So you have to appear in a medical entrance test, if you clear it, you are through.

  Murli Prasad Sharma : Is it necessary to appear in this test ?

  Dr. Rustam Pavri : Of course it's compulsory.

  Murli Prasad Sharma , Circuit : [Both asking together]  Did YOU appear for it ?

  Dr. Rustam Pavri : OBVIOUSLY. I topped in that exam.

  Circuit : [Shaking Kurush Deboo's hand]  Hey, great job dude. Very good.

  Dr. Rustam Pavri : Thanks, may I take your leave ?

  Circuit : Of course. What's your good name ?

  Dr. Rustam Pavri : Dr. Rustam Pavri.

  Circuit : And where do you stay ?

  Dr. Rustam Pavri : Nanavati Colony.

  Murli Prasad Sharma : [to Kurush Deboo]  Hey, you should hurry, that patient inside is waiting for you. I too have to make a hell lot of preparations for the exam. Please go.

  Dr. Rustam Pavri : Of course. Thank you.

• Shri Hari Prasad Sharma : [to Sanjay Dutt in the film's climax]  You didn't have shame in your eyes when you kept lying to me for 10 years. And today when I am proud of you, you've kept your head low !

  [Smiling] 

  Shri Hari Prasad Sharma : Come give me a hug.

  Murli Prasad Sharma : [Wiping off his tears]  But Bapuji, I couldn't become a doctor.

  Shri Hari Prasad Sharma : [Proudly]  Doctors merely save lives. You taught the world how to live. Go upstairs, Chinki is waiting for you.

  Murli Prasad Sharma : [Unaware Gracy Singh is both Suman and Chinki]  Babuji, Chinki ?

  Shri Hari Prasad Sharma : [Jokingly]  Are you going or should I lift my stick.

  [Sanjay Dutt heads to the terrace] 

  Murli Prasad Sharma : [On the terrace with Gracy Singh facing the opposite direction]  Hey Chinki, what are you doing here ?

  Dr. Suman Asthana : I came here to discuss our marriage proposal Munna.

  Murli Prasad Sharma : Chinki, there is something I must tell you. I can't marry you.

  Dr. Suman Asthana : [Feigning shock]  What ? Why's that ?

  Murli Prasad Sharma : Coz I love someone else.

  Dr. Suman Asthana : And who's that ?

  Murli Prasad Sharma : That girl back at the college, Dr. Suman. I don't know but I want to marry her.

  Dr. Suman Asthana : [Suddenly turning around]  So, what are you waiting for. Go ahead.

  Murli Prasad Sharma : [Shocked]  Dr. Suman ?

  Dr. Suman Asthana : [Joyfully]  Wrong. Chinki. YOUR CHINKI.

  Murli Prasad Sharma : [Crying while laughing]  You know you made a Mamu out of me Chinki.

  Dr. Suman Asthana : Well, not to the same extent as you.

  [Hugs Sanjay Dutt] 

• Murli Prasad Sharma : If money could save lives, then the rich would never die.

• Murli Prasad Sharma : [explaining why he brought in a body to study]  What was I to do? There are 50 students to a body, you can't see diddly-squat. All I've seen in four days is the fingers. I wanna be a complete doctor, not a finger specialist... who doesn't know what's up with the knees.

• Murli Prasad Sharma : I'm up shit creek and sinking fast.

• Murli Prasad Sharma : What is mine is yours... except for my underwear.

• Murli Prasad Sharma : Her husband was so obese, the liposuction took a week.

• Murli Prasad Sharma : He got washed, rinsed, and dry cleaned that day.

• Murli Prasad Sharma : Have some chickpeas, they're good for your bones. Lots of calcium.

  Nagarajan Swami : Let me study. I came second in the entrance exams.

  Murli Prasad Sharma : How do you think I got the first place? By eating chickpeas. Have some.

• Murli Prasad Sharma : [to a doctor who had shined a light into an unresponsive patient's eyes]  Yo, boss. Hello. Turn off the torch.

  Doctor attending Anand Banerjee : Why?

  Murli Prasad Sharma : That must cause him discomfort.

  Doctor attending Anand Banerjee : Out of the question. The subject can't feel anything.

  Murli Prasad Sharma : Say what? Subject? Doesn't he have a name?

  Doctor attending Anand Banerjee : [after checking paperwork]  His name is Anand Banerjee.

  Murli Prasad Sharma : And he's many years your senior, talk respectfully about him.

  Doctor attending Anand Banerjee : Why are you getting emotional? I told you he can't hear a thing. Relax. Sit down.

• Murli Prasad Sharma : I'm not a ruffian, babe. I'm a social worker. I provide financial help, get it?

• Murli Prasad Sharma : [singing]  My dreams were shattered, my heart was too. Yes it hurt... but that's life, dude.

• Murli Prasad Sharma : You're making a mountain out of a molehill.

• Dr. J. Asthana : Congratulations, here's your rustication letter. I want you out by tomorrow.

  Murli Prasad Sharma : Your luck's run out, buddy. I was about to split... when someone held my hand and asked me to stay. Do your worst. Now I'm here to stay.

  Dr. J. Asthana : If you don't leave, the police will escort you out.

  Murli Prasad Sharma : Police? They couldn't keep me in, how will they pull me out?

  Dr. J. Asthana : You will go, Mr. Sharma.

  Murli Prasad Sharma : See, if the cops kick me out the front door... I'll return through the back door.

• Murli Prasad Sharma : Everyone thanks doctors for making them well. No one thanks you for picking up their rubbish.

• Murli Prasad Sharma : So, how do you feel about me?

  Dr. Suman Asthana : I don't feel anything. I mean, I like you. I know you can make any woman really happy.

  Murli Prasad Sharma : You are the woman I want to make happy. Ms. Suman, when you smile... life is beautiful. I want to see you smiling forever. So?

  Dr. Suman Asthana : So what?

  Murli Prasad Sharma : Please marry me.

• Murli Prasad Sharma : What's the problem?

  Dr. J. Asthana : You are the problem, Mr. Sharma. We need discipline in the college, not cabaret.

• Murli Prasad Sharma : Dude, he's like the Incredible Sulk. Why doesn't someone just give him a Magic Hug?

  Dr. Suman Asthana : Hug?

  Murli Prasad Sharma : An honest hug is magical. My mom calls it the Magic Hug. It's an anti-tension drug.

• Murli Prasad Sharma : I swear she heard me, brother Anand. I didn't even move my lips... and she knew what I was thinking. Is that possible, brother? You know, this happens in love. Circuit also says if feelings are strong... you can talk long distance clearly without a phone.

• Doctor attending Anand Banerjee : In your medical careers, you'll face this question many times. Tell me, is it right to keep a vegetable alive by using medicines... especially in a country where there is a shortage of hospitals... the subject has been occupying a bed for the last 12 years.

  Murli Prasad Sharma : Screw you! You're concerned about the bed. How do you know he won't wake up?

  Doctor attending Anand Banerjee : I'm a doctor.

  Murli Prasad Sharma : But not God! Did you get inside his head? I should thwack you in the head!

  Doctor attending Anand Banerjee : Leave the class.

• Murli Prasad Sharma : These docs read a couple of books and think they're God.

• Murli Prasad Sharma : Hey Pops, play carom, drink juice... that's the good life.

• Dr. J. Asthana : Do you think I don't know that you've cheated? I don't know how, but I will find out, Mister.

  Murli Prasad Sharma : You think I've cheated? Let me declare that I have. And will do it again. Do what you can.

  Dr. J. Asthana : Shut up! No one has ever spoken to me like this!

  Murli Prasad Sharma : There's always a first time, dude.

• Dr. Suman Asthana : I feel strange saying this.

  Murli Prasad Sharma : Strange is my middle name.

• Murli Prasad Sharma : I can't run a bulldozer through my life just because I want to bulldoze yours.

• Murli Prasad Sharma : How can I cure anyone... with hugs, smiles? The drama's over. I'm just a no-good goon, who cheated his way in here. Last night, Zaheer died thinking I'm a doctor, a god. He thought I'd help him meet his mother. I couldn't do anything, Rustom. But why didn't you doctors save him? Couldn't you even give him a few more hours... till he met his mother? I just have one request. His mother arrives at 11... please don't bury her in forms. She has just lost her young son. Just help her. I am leaving. I made a big mistake. Sorry, brother Zaheer.

• Murli Prasad Sharma : [asking about Chinki, not knowing that he is talking to her]  How does she look?

  Dr. Suman Asthana : [concealing her identity]  Um, not too bad.

  Murli Prasad Sharma : As good as you?

  Dr. Suman Asthana : Better than me.

• Murli Prasad Sharma : Tell Chinki she should give her dad a Magic Hug. I swear, he'll melt like butter.