I can't possibly understand the appeal of garbage. While I can enjoy a sub-par film from time to time, I am amazed at the utter lack of anything entertaining in this film. Horrible writing from start to finish, terrible acting with maybe 1 or 2 glimmers of hope. But the directing was even worse. I felt nauseous within 10 minutes. Remember the movie called How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days? This film could be called How To Lose An Audience In 10 Minutes. The first segment "Painkiller" is an obvious rip-off of Freddy Krueger. The make-up isn't half bad, but it's not enough to save this piece of flotsam. "The Cologne" was somewhat better, with at least a passable performance by the lead actor. Then we come to "Blood Runs Cold". An unbelievably bad piece of writing, with atrocious performances. It was all I could do not to laugh. Trust me, don't waste your time. Rent The Departed, you'll enjoy that much more!!
3 Reviews
Nothing new or exciting, run of the mill.
ChuckStraub14 November 2005
Realms of Blood is a low budget film about a guy and his girlfriend betting each other that they can tell a horror story that will scare the other. The film then has three stories wrapped in a fourth story. All three of these tales are the stories told by the boyfriend and girlfriend betting on what kind of horror story is the scariest. The couple telling the stories actually makes a kind of fourth story. I don't know why, but the guy gets to tell two stories and the girl only tells one but that's how it is. The first story is called "Pain Killer" about a war veteran gone berserk and on a killing spree. Decent body counts but no originality in his killing style. It has a very predictable plot and a simple ending, very forgettable story and not very scary. The second story "The Cologne" is better but I didn't find it scary at all. I thought it was entertaining and humorous, nothing special but OK. The third tale is called "Blood Runs Cold". This is a short vampire story. I think it was the scariest but still it just doesn't have what it takes to really be a scary horror flick. It's a more serious story, no humor as in "The Cologne" but in it's own way it was again OK. None of the three stories are for the squeamish. You have lots of blood and guts. The film was intended to be scary but if you've seen a lot of graphic horror movies, this one is just run of the mill. The make up isn't that bad for a low budget film and the acting was adequate which was a nice surprise. Several scenes do contain nudity but it certainly isn't used to excess. The music isn't bad at all and fit in very well. The main problem I saw with this film was that the plots to the three stories goes nowhere and the endings are just so predicable. There's nothing new or exciting here. You really have to be a fan of modern low budget, independent movies to get anything out of this film. For extras on the DVD you could play it either with or without director commentary, you can see a preview trailer and a blooper reel. There are also two music videos with songs from the film featuring such hits as "And Crows Will Dig Your Grave" and "Planet Graveyard" both of which I found interesting and kind of catchy. Not a complete waste of time but there are far better choices out there waiting to be watched.
"That's right she becomes an instant slut! I guarantee it!" Below average horror anthology.
poolandrews27 March 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Realms of Blood starts late one night as a guy named David (co-executive & associate producer Nick Colameo) is watching a rubbishy horror film called 'Shower of Satan Part 13' when the electricity goes cuts out, his missus Kathy (Kerry Lynn Hoffman) calls the horror films he likes so much crap & he doesn't know any proper scary stories at which they challenge each other to tell the scariest story they can...
The first story is entitled 'Pain Killer' & tells the tale of a young woman named Julia (co-associate producer Sheyenne Rivers) who while driving home from work sees a blood soaked woman named Mia (Jennifer Sgambati) run out in front of her car, Julia stops but only finds blood on the road. A cop car pulls up & Julia tells the policeman (Owen Miller) her story, suddenly a blood drenched man (Bob Glazier) grabs the policeman from behind & snaps his neck. Julia makes a run for it in her car but this is just the beginning of a night of terror for her...
The second story is called 'The Cologne' & features office nerd Freddy (Nick Colameo again) who has never had a date & is the laughing stock of the entire office. One morning amongst his daily papers he notices a free vial of a new cologne call Casanova which promises the wearer he will be irresistible to women, Freddy gives it a go & the office babe Suzette (Dana D'Oench) can't wait to rip his trousers off & give him a blow job which is fine by Freddy, however he soon discovers that the Cologne has some unexpected side effects he would rather do without...
The third & (thankfully) final story goes by the title of 'Blood Runs Cold' & has a coven of Vampires use a girl named Raven (Sheyenne Rivers again) to try & get to her Vampire hunting dad, Father Crowe (Bob Glazier again) but is blood thicker than water...
Edited, co-written, co-produced & directed by Robert J. Massetti who also gets a cinematography credit as well I thought Realms of Blood was a long way short of classic horror anthologies such as Asylum (1972), Tales From the Crypt (1972), The Vault of Horror (1973), The Uncanny (1977), Creepshow (1982) or Tales From the Darkside: The Movie (1990) all of which are far superior to Realms of Blood. The script by Massetti, Kim Allen & Tim Ritter doesn't grasp what these films are all about I'm afraid, they should be tightly paced horror stories with a memorable twist ending usually involving someone getting their just desserts. The first story is nothing more than a dull & predictable 30 odd minute Halloween (1979) rip-off without a twist in sight. The second segment is by far the best as the Freddy has to pay an unexpected & twisted price for his good fortune although I thought him having to literally wash/cut his own skin off to get rid of the smell would have been a great ending, as it is the climax used barely registers on the interest-o-meter, having said that this bit feels like a silly spoof & is the least horror orientated part. The third story is a really boring attempt at a Vampire tale, it too is very predictable & I just don't see any twist or surprises in any of the stories.
Director Massetti does absolutely nothing to try & make Realms of Blood more enjoyable to watch as this is seriously low budget hand-held camcorder stuff all the way, the same actors are used in different stories as are the same locations & it almost becomes a game after a while to spot them. Forget about any serious gore, there's a ripped out heart & some blood drinking but as a whole this is a very tame film.
Technically the film is poor & looks really cheap throughout. The acting is also suitably rubbish.
Realms of Blood as a whole isn't a good horror anthology & there are lots of far superior ones out there like the ones I've already mentioned. The second story is alright & in the right hands could have been decent, unfortunately the hands weren't right & it isn't. Not particularly recommended.
The first story is entitled 'Pain Killer' & tells the tale of a young woman named Julia (co-associate producer Sheyenne Rivers) who while driving home from work sees a blood soaked woman named Mia (Jennifer Sgambati) run out in front of her car, Julia stops but only finds blood on the road. A cop car pulls up & Julia tells the policeman (Owen Miller) her story, suddenly a blood drenched man (Bob Glazier) grabs the policeman from behind & snaps his neck. Julia makes a run for it in her car but this is just the beginning of a night of terror for her...
The second story is called 'The Cologne' & features office nerd Freddy (Nick Colameo again) who has never had a date & is the laughing stock of the entire office. One morning amongst his daily papers he notices a free vial of a new cologne call Casanova which promises the wearer he will be irresistible to women, Freddy gives it a go & the office babe Suzette (Dana D'Oench) can't wait to rip his trousers off & give him a blow job which is fine by Freddy, however he soon discovers that the Cologne has some unexpected side effects he would rather do without...
The third & (thankfully) final story goes by the title of 'Blood Runs Cold' & has a coven of Vampires use a girl named Raven (Sheyenne Rivers again) to try & get to her Vampire hunting dad, Father Crowe (Bob Glazier again) but is blood thicker than water...
Edited, co-written, co-produced & directed by Robert J. Massetti who also gets a cinematography credit as well I thought Realms of Blood was a long way short of classic horror anthologies such as Asylum (1972), Tales From the Crypt (1972), The Vault of Horror (1973), The Uncanny (1977), Creepshow (1982) or Tales From the Darkside: The Movie (1990) all of which are far superior to Realms of Blood. The script by Massetti, Kim Allen & Tim Ritter doesn't grasp what these films are all about I'm afraid, they should be tightly paced horror stories with a memorable twist ending usually involving someone getting their just desserts. The first story is nothing more than a dull & predictable 30 odd minute Halloween (1979) rip-off without a twist in sight. The second segment is by far the best as the Freddy has to pay an unexpected & twisted price for his good fortune although I thought him having to literally wash/cut his own skin off to get rid of the smell would have been a great ending, as it is the climax used barely registers on the interest-o-meter, having said that this bit feels like a silly spoof & is the least horror orientated part. The third story is a really boring attempt at a Vampire tale, it too is very predictable & I just don't see any twist or surprises in any of the stories.
Director Massetti does absolutely nothing to try & make Realms of Blood more enjoyable to watch as this is seriously low budget hand-held camcorder stuff all the way, the same actors are used in different stories as are the same locations & it almost becomes a game after a while to spot them. Forget about any serious gore, there's a ripped out heart & some blood drinking but as a whole this is a very tame film.
Technically the film is poor & looks really cheap throughout. The acting is also suitably rubbish.
Realms of Blood as a whole isn't a good horror anthology & there are lots of far superior ones out there like the ones I've already mentioned. The second story is alright & in the right hands could have been decent, unfortunately the hands weren't right & it isn't. Not particularly recommended.
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