Stella (2005)
David Wain: David
Photos
Quotes
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David : As a child, I was very sickly. I had polio and Alzheimer's and cancer. And lupus. And so, I was usually bed-ridden with at least two of those things.
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David : I haven't laughed that hard since my last business transaction!
[laughs]
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David : I know I can hunt but can Mike hunt and Mike hunt?
Mountain Man : Of course.
David : No, no, but you say it.
Mountain Man : ...Mike hunt.
[Michael, Michael and David giggle]
Mountain Man : What are you guys laughing at? All I said is "Mike hunt." What's so funny about "Mike hunt?"
[more giggles]
Mountain Man : All right, enough!
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David : Hey, you remind me of fast food.
Blonde Girl : Oh, yeah? Why's that?
David : Because I want to take you out...
Blonde Girl : [laughs]
David : ...and then I want to eat you in my car.
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Jane Burroughs : I'm afraid I some have bad news.
David : Don't tell me you have crabs.
Jane Burroughs : No.
David : ...You will.
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Michael : Wow, this is really fun, Mountain Man.
Mountain Man : Nature is fun.
David : Like boobs?
Mountain Man : But it can also be dangerous.
Michael : Like fire boobs?
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David : [to realtor] Shhhhhhhh... Shut up. Just shut up!
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Greg : Woah, woah, woah... sorry, guys... employees only.
David : We are employees!
Michael : Yeah! We're from the... Houston office.
Greg : Houston?
Michael : [in Canadian accent] That's aboot right, eh?
Ansel : I didn't know we had an office in Houston.
Michael : [in Canadian accent] Yeah, we play hockey there... with... the prime minister.
Michael : [in Canadian accent] ... Pierre Trudeau...
Ansel : If you guys are from Houston, why do you have Canadian accents?
David : [in Canadian accent] Take off you hosers!
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Michael : [looking at Michael and David in strange outfits] Why are you guys dressed like that?
Michael : [in a rain poncho] Well, *I'm* dressed for rain.
David : [in mountain climbing gear] And *I'm* dressed for snow.
Michael : [in a swimsuit] Hey! I'm also wearing a hilarious outfit! Didn't anyone check the weather in the paper this morning?
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David : Oh, my God! You just shot the mountain man!
Michael : I thought it was a turkey, I swear to God!
Michael : What are we gonna do?
David : Call Marcus.
Michael : Yeah, call Marcus.
Michael : Who's Marcus?
Michael : I don't know, I don't know!
Michael : Hey guys, he's still alive!
Michael : [Michael Ian Black shoots Mountain Man] Why did you do that!
Michael : It was either him or us, Mike!
Michael : What are you talking about?
David : You guys, we have to call the cops!
Michael : No cops, Dave... not on this one!
David : What are you talking about? We have to call the cops!
Michael : [points gun at David] I said no cops!
Michael : Hey, don't do anything stupid, Mikey
[points gun at Michael Ian Black]
David : Put the gun down, Mike!
[points gun at Showalter]
Michael : Why are you pointing the gun at me, David? I am trying to help you!
David : I know? it's weird.
Michael : Put it down... Put it down... Put the gun down.
David : Come on! Put the gun down now, Guy, you put it down!
Michael : 2? 3? Now, what are we gonna do?
[all three throw guns down]
David : Without the Mountain Man we are totally lost!
Michael : How are we going to survive? We're stuck in these woods with nothing to eat!
Michael : [looks at Mountain Man's dead body] I have an idea...
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David : I'm a red-blooded American man with an American thirst for sex!