Keeping Mum (2005)
Rowan Atkinson: Walter Goodfellow
Photos
Quotes
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[the housekeeper's trunk, which has arrived before her, has a nametag reading "Grace"]
Reverend Walter Goodfellow : Do you think it's a sign?
Gloria Goodfellow : No. I think it's a trunk.
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Reverend Walter Goodfellow : The title for this evening's opening address is Cod's Mysterious Ways. God! God! God's Mysterious Ways
[calms down]
Reverend Walter Goodfellow : . I'm sure Cod *have* mysterious ways, but it's the mysterious ways of God I want to talk about tonight. Cod will just have to wait for their own convention.
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Reverend Walter Goodfellow : [at the convention] And when I'm asked why vicars always answer a question by posing another question, I always reply 'well why shouldn't we?'
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Bob : [discussing the problem of the pond] So there's really just the one option.
Reverend Walter Goodfellow : Yes, there's, um, just the one option.
Gloria Goodfellow : Which is?
Bob : Drain it.
Gloria Goodfellow : Drain it.
[pauses]
Gloria Goodfellow : Shall I put the kettle on?
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Reverend Walter Goodfellow : Was that a brassiere over Holly's shoulder this morning?
Gloria Goodfellow : You're half a day behind the rest of us you know. And it's called a bra nowadays.
Reverend Walter Goodfellow : But why did she have it over her shoulder?
Gloria Goodfellow : [sighs] She was doing the laundry.
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Reverend Walter Goodfellow : So. They made love in every room in the house did they? Lilian and Brian? And they went round twice. I think we've got some catching up to do.
Gloria Goodfellow : No. I must see to Mrs Parker.
Reverend Walter Goodfellow : Oh gosh. Do you need me?
Gloria Goodfellow : No, no. It's just the flower arranging committee.
Reverend Walter Goodfellow : Dear God. I swear that committee will be the death of her.
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Reverend Walter Goodfellow : [mid-sermon] ... which reminds me of the time an Englishman, Irishmen, Scotsman, a Vicar, a Rabbi and a Priest all go into a bar and the barman looks up and says 'Is this a joke?'.
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Gloria Goodfellow : Petey? Petey? Walter?
Reverend Walter Goodfellow : Ah, Gloria. This is Bob and Ted from the waterboard, we're just discussing the...
Gloria Goodfellow : Walter, where's Petey?
Reverend Walter Goodfellow : Oh Lord! Mrs Calloway called about her crisis of faith. She was on the verge of losing it.
Gloria Goodfellow : I know the bloody feeling.
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Grace Hawkins : Have you thought about sex?
Reverend Walter Goodfellow : What?
Grace Hawkins : The Bible. It's full of sex, haven't you noticed? Song of Solomon?
Reverend Walter Goodfellow : Ah yes, but that's a song between a devout man and God.
Grace Hawkins : No. It's about sex. You read it again vicar.
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Holly Goodfellow : The Devil's in the details, Dad.
Reverend Walter Goodfellow : Could we not say that word on a Sunday?
Holly Goodfellow : What? Dad?
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Reverend Walter Goodfellow : It's sort of as we feared. The pond. Algae.
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Reverend Walter Goodfellow : [referring to the pond] They say it'll get worse if it's not dealt with.
Gloria Goodfellow : [under her breath] A lot of things will get worse if they're not dealt with.