- Jean Paul Veber: [trying to tell the families that he can only pick one to go into business with]
- Jean Paul Veber: I can only go to bed with one of you.
- Joe Montebello: Ma told me to spice up my life.
- Gloria Montebello: Not with arsenic.
- Joe Montebello: Arsenic is not a spice.
- Gina Prestolani: You!
- Joe Montebello: You! A Prestolani?
- Gina Prestolani: At least I'm not a Montebello!
- [Gina fell off a ladder and Carlo caught her]
- Gina Prestolani: Thanks!
- Carlo Delrio: Nice to know you're still falling for me.
- Father Spealo: [after Jean Paul brings them to the church to straighten them out]
- Father Spealo: These people are driving me crazy.
- Lou Prestolani: Well that's very professional.