- Dr. Dick Solomon: I'm sorry, there is simply no room in the budget for raises. But I can go you one better: promotions! Sally, you are now *Senior* Security Officer.
- Sally Solomon: That'll look good on the old résumé.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Tommy, you are now *Senior* Information Officer.
- Tommy Solomon: It's about time.
- [everybody is quiet for a moment]
- Harry Solomon: What about me?
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Harry, you are now... Harold.
- Harry Solomon: Champagne for everyone!
- Dr. Vincent Strudwick: Dick, without your cowardice and courage we wouldn't be right back where we started.
- Tommy Solomon: [on his new job at Mrs Fetzel's Homemade Pretzels] I just don't understand why we have to make the pretzels. It says they're homemade.
- Alissa Strudwick: Yeah, they're homemade right here.
- Tommy Solomon: Does Mrs Fetzel know about this?
- Alissa Strudwick: Tommy, there is no Mrs Fetzel. She was invented by a bunch of marketing guys.
- Tommy Solomon: [disillusioned] A small part of me has just died.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Look at this: the Chancellor has even cut off the free long-distance. So much for my 'International Ideas Exchange'.
- Sally Solomon: It's just you dialing random numbers and talking to whoever answers.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Yes. Just yesterday, I had a brief but fruitful conversation with a Dutch lady about it being the middle of the night over there.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Mary, I wish you could have seen me in there with the Chancellor. You would have been so turned on by my heroism. I know I was.
- Tommy Solomon: You just gave that perv a free pretzel!
- Alissa Strudwick: We're allowed to sometimes - it's called customer relations.
- Tommy Solomon: Does Mrs. Fretzel know about this?
- Alissa Strudwick: [Exasperated] She's goe, Tommy - let her go!
- Dr. Dick Solomon: That "shouting", young Pittman, is the sound of grass roots movement being born... And I am the sweet manure that makes it take hold!
- Dr. Dick Solomon: I'm going to do what I should have done in the first place: I'm going to march into the chancellor's office and resign!
- Tommy Solomon: Yeah, and I'm going to walk right up to Alyssa and turn in my pretzel hat!
- Dr. Dick Solomon: But what's Mrs. Fretzel going to say?
- Tommy Solomon: Oh, Dick... sit down...
- Dr. Vincent Strudwick: Yeah, Solomon - if it weren't for your cowardice, we wouldn't be right back where we started from!
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Coming from you, Strudwick, I'll take that as a compliment.
- Dr. Vincent Strudwick: It was an INSULT!
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Too late - COMPLIMENT!