- Narrator: On the next Arrested Development, Lindsay finds herself strangely compelled to be with Tobias...
- Lindsay Funke: Oh my god, I'm sorry, I walked into the wrong trailer!
- Dave Attell: Wow, the service sent you over quick.
- Narrator: ...But not the one she's married to.
- Lindsay Funke: [he quickly disrobes] You don't cry when you take those off?
- Narrator: Having finally had sex, GOB can admit that he never consummated his marriage.
- George "Gob" Bluth II: Your Honor, we never consummated this marriage.
- Wife of Gob: Judge, maybe you should take a look at this, which was taken in your office just moments ago.
- [She hands the judge a picture, and GOB is seen shirtless with the shirt over his head]
- Narrator: Then GOB catches a lucky break.
- Judge Lionel Ping: There's no way to tell who this man is.
- Narrator: But it doesn't last long.
- George "Gob" Bluth II: Oh that's me, your honor, I fucked my wife.
- Barry Zuckerkorn: Oh, we've really lost this case.
- Narrator: And Maeby impresses some kids at the Promise Land with her one scary campfire story.
- Mae 'Maebe' Funke: Knock, scrape. The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call!
- [Buster enters the clearing while holding up his hook]
- Buster: Hey, campers.
- [the kids all scream and run away]
- Buster: I'm a monster!
- Michael: This may have been a step backward.
- Tobias Fünke: What are you doing up here?
- George Bluth Sr.: [he shoves Tobias against the wall with his hand covering Tobias's mouth] I'm having a fucking tea party, what does it look like? I live here and if you tell anybody, you are dead.
- Narrator: Tobias saw the raw power of George Sr.
- George Bluth Sr.: Ah, stop licking my hand, you horse's ass!
- Lindsay Funke: Oh, God. Not that "I'm in love with my mother" dance thing. I'm so glad there wasn't one of those for Daddys and Daughters.
- Lucille: Of course they have father-daughter dances.
- Lindsay Funke: They do? He never took me?
- Lucille: It was before we did your nose.
- Carl Weathers: [at Burger King] I'm going to go get a refill. You know you can get a refill on any drink you want?
- Tobias Fünke: It's a great restaurant!
- Narrator: It sure is!
- Lucille: [at the hotel where Motherboy is taking place] Oh fuck me! Exact same costumes. We'll get a room so we can change.
- Michael: I think it's getting too risky keeping you up here.
- George Bluth Sr.: You know what's risky? Lettin' your son go on that church thing.
- Michael: Her name's Ann, Dad, and he's not "going" on her, okay?
- Michael: They're just friends.
- George Bluth Sr.: Not for long.
- Narrator: [about the Motherboy dance] Motherboy was also the name of a heavy metal band that used to rock pretty hard during the '70s. We are legally obligated to make this distinction.
- Mae 'Maebe' Funke: So what is this camping trip?
- George Michael Bluth: It's called "the Promised Land", you're supposed to make promises about your relationships in accordance with the generations that proceeded you.
- George Michael Bluth: [picking up a cup] Hey, there's booze in this.
- Mae 'Maebe' Funke: That's the promised land that Ann's taking you to? You're going to need this more than Polly here.
- Dave Attell: [discussing Tobias with Carl Weathers] Whoa, this guy's straight?
- [holds up a pair of Tobias' cut-offs]
- Dave Attell: Then, what am I wearing these for?
- Lucille: You know I always get this way around Motherboy.
- Michael: Oh, God, it's Motherboy time already?
- Lucille: Normally, I'd go with Buster but he doesnt want to go. But with you, I think I've got a shot.
- Michael: Buster for the first time ever, doesnt want to do this?
- Narrator: [voice over] Motherboy was the name of an annual dance promoting mother-son bonding. Lucille has gone with Buster over 30 times, and on many occasions, won cutest couple. But as one entered sexual maturity and the other one left it, it became increasingly difficult.
- Lucille: [Buster and Lucille are getting their picture taken] I'm so hot.
- Buster: If you were hot, mother, we would win!
- Narrator: George Michael should have realized by the sailor suits Lucille dressed him in that he was not going north to the Promised Land. No, he was going south. South, to Motherboy.
- Narrator: On the next Arrested Development, Lindsay finds herself strangely compelled to be with Tobias.
- Dave Attell: [Lindsay accidentally wanders into Dave Attell's dressing room] Wow, the service sent you over quick.
- [he quickly disrobes]
- Narrator: But not the one she's married to.
- Lindsay Funke: You don't cry when you take those off?
- Michael: [Michael catches George-Michael and Maebe in the attic] What are you kids doing up here?
- George Michael Bluth: Looking for the camping stuff. Where do we keep the mattress pumps?
- Michael: I had to take all pumps out of here a long time ago.
- [Tobias discovers that George Sr. has been living in the attic]
- Tobias Fünke: What are you doing up here?
- George Sr.: I'm having a fucking tea party, what does it look like? I live here. You tell anyone, you are DEAD.
- [he shoves Tobias up against the wall with his hand against his mouth]
- George Sr.: Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass.