- [first lines]
- Lionel: [on the telephone] No, thank you. No, thank you.
- [pause]
- Lionel: No, thank you!
- [pause]
- Lionel: No, thank you.
- [pause]
- Lionel: No, thank you. Goodbye.
- Jean: Friend of yours?
- Lionel: British Telecom. One of those 'are you satisfied with our services' calls. I said yes and hoped that would be it, but no, I then get ten minutes of being offered extra services.
- Jean: You weren't even listening.
- Lionel: Well, it's all getting too complicated. Do you realise you can get a special rate if you make calls between three and five o'clock in the morning providing you're standing on one leg and wearing a ginger wig?
- Jean: You turned that down!
- Lionel: That was about as subtle as a steamroller, wasn't it.
- Jean: I just think they ought to be left alone.
- Lionel: Look, you can't start matchmaking at a time like this.
- Jean: I'm not matchmaking, but when Alistair was telling his sad story, and it was sad, it was Judy he was telling it to.
- Sandy: Didn't you notice?
- Lionel: No.
- Sandy: Honestly.
- Jean: Honestly.
- Lionel: Well, I'm not psychic, am I!
- [last lines]
- Jean: Are you sure you didn't fix it for the lights to go off?
- Lionel: No. Even with my immensely long arms, i couldn't reach from here to the cupboard under the stairs.
- Jean: No, I suppose not. 'Tis romantic, though, isn't it.
- Lionel: Yes, 'tis.
- [he chuckles]
- Jean: Why are you smiling?
- Lionel: Well, I was just thinking of the things you could still do that require no technological expertise at all.
- Jean: Oh, Lionel, you are a rascal.
- Lionel: I have my moments.