Barney Miller (TV Series)
Wojo's Girl: Part 1 (1979)
Lewis Arquette: Nells Finney
Quotes
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Nells Finney : He had hit me from no reason
Frank Mallory : I had a right, he put me through hell
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : Can you stop yelling, it's an old building
Capt. Barney Miller : What do we got here ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : That's Frank Mallory and this Nells Finney. We found them rolling around the gutter in front of Finney's business.
Frank Mallory : I was just trying to get a refund.
Capt. Barney Miller : A refund ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Yeah, uh, Finney here owns a travel agency
Nells Finney : Jolly Jaunt Tours.
Frank Mallory : 13 hours on a plane, 5 hours in customs, and 2 hours in a dirty taxi.
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : Mr Mallory returned from a trip to Europe, this morning that Mr. Finney had arranged.
Frank Mallory : 28 days of horror
Nells Finney : I told you it wasn't our deluxe package
Frank Mallory : Listen, my wife had been planning this trip for ten years. It was going to be the honeymoon we never had. We were gonna revitalize our relationship and now she wants a divorce. Did you know that?
Capt. Barney Miller : Just... just take it easy, take it easy, Mr. Mallory. Whose charging who ?
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : It's mutual
Capt. Barney Miller : I'm gonna slide Mr. Mallory around here to your desk
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : Come on, Mr. Mallory, here we go
Capt. Barney Miller : Wojo , you got Mr. Finney
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Have a seat there, Mr. Finney
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Frank Mallory : How'd you let me miss that ?
Nells Finney : What ?
Frank Mallory : The Congo
Nells Finney : I'd just about had it with your sarcasm. You should be grateful, you even got to go Europe
Frank Mallory : Big deal, Everybody's been to Europe
Nells Finney : I haven't
Frank Mallory : Your kidding
Nells Finney : I haven't been anyplace
Frank Mallory : I thought you people went on these special junkets.
Nells Finney : Sure, just take off, huh? Whose going to watch the store ?
Frank Mallory : Oh, yeah. I know what you mean?
Nells Finney : You people, taking off to London, Rome, Rio de Janeiro. I stuck in a cold filthy, city. In a box of an office.
Frank Mallory : I didn't realize
Nells Finney : I know, you didn't realize it. Staring all day at travel posters of juvenile girls in native costumes. Day after day, staring at the that damn poster of Greece
Frank Mallory : Aren't they beautiful ?
Nells Finney : Rhodes, Corfu, Lesbos -- warm blue waters, music, ouzo
Frank Mallory : Take it easy Finney
Nells Finney : Oh, God ! I want to go someplace!
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Det. Ron Harris : Oh, Barney, uh, I finished checking out the Colonel. He's got a Collector's License for the weapons.
Capt. Barney Miller : Oh, how about Brookburn Enterprises
Det. Ron Harris : Tacky, but it's legal
Col. Charles Dundee : Anything else you need, Captain ?
Capt. Barney Miller : Ah, not at the moment Colonel . Thank you for your cooperation
Col. Charles Dundee : My pleasure, ready Brauer ?
Phillip Brauer : Look, uh, Colonel there's, uh... there's been a change of plans . I can't go with you
Col. Charles Dundee : Oh.
Phillip Brauer : It's, uh, it's my wife, she's unstable. I can't leave her alone.
Col. Charles Dundee : Well, that's too bad. It would have been great fun.
Phillip Brauer : Yeah
Col. Charles Dundee : But... there will be other chances -- Middle East, Asia, Cleveland... Touch of humor
Phillip Brauer : Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks
Col. Charles Dundee : Don't mention it
Harriet Brauer : Phil ?
Phillip Brauer : Yeah.
Harriet Brauer : Can we go ?
Phillip Brauer : Yeah, We can go .
Harriet Brauer : Oh. Oh. Thank you so much
Det. Ron Harris : Anytime
Harriet Brauer : Everyone
Capt. Barney Miller : Mrs. Brauer
Harriet Brauer : Oh, Captain, thank you, everyone
Capt. Barney Miller : Good luck, Mr. Brauer.
Phillip Brauer : Be seeing you. Yeah, I'll bet you anything . I'll be seeing you
Col. Charles Dundee : Captain , see you around
Capt. Barney Miller : Probably, we're going to keep an little eye on your collection
Col. Charles Dundee : No problem. Oh, uh... you know, a man of your experience, you'd be a major, easy
Capt. Barney Miller : Captain's plenty
Col. Charles Dundee : Anybody else ?
Frank Mallory , Nells Finney : No... No
Col. Charles Dundee : Stand easy, men ?
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Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : Captain, I checked Mallory and Finney for priors. There both clean
Capt. Barney Miller : Fine, Gentlemen, we have no reason to hold you. Want to hold each other ?
Frank Mallory : Huh ?
Capt. Barney Miller : Who is charging whom ?
Nells Finney : Well, if it's alright with you, I just want to get out of here
Capt. Barney Miller : Good. Mr. Mallory ?
Frank Mallory : I just want to get to bed. I'm starting to hallucinate.
Capt. Barney Miller : Fine. Let them loose.
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : That's an interesting tactic, you used.
Capt. Barney Miller : What's that ?
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : Whenever we have assault cases. You always put the two combatants in the cell, give them the opportunity to reconcile
Capt. Barney Miller : Thank you
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : Or beat the hell out of each other again
Capt. Barney Miller : Well, I have faith in human nature. I figure, two intelligent adults -- give them the opportunity...
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : I better get them out of there
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Nells Finney : What's going to happen now ?
Capt. Barney Miller : Sergeant Wojciehowicz is going to book you
Nells Finney : It's very ironic, isn't it ?
Capt. Barney Miller : How so?
Nells Finney : The way different professions use the same terminology ?
Capt. Barney Miller : If you say so ?
Nells Finney : I book people in my business , you book people in your business. It's very ironic
Capt. Barney Miller : Of course, around here you don't need a reservation.
[Miller directs Wojo]
Capt. Barney Miller : Book 'em.